30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 3

i saw these questions on another blog ( http://collaredmom.com/define-your-kink) and thought it would interesting to respond to one question a day (probably non-sequential days) until all are covered. Maybe Y/you will consider writing Y/your own responses in a journal so Y/you can periodically review to see how Y/you have grown or changed.  

If You are a Top/Dom/Master it is possible to rework the questions to reflect Your perspective.

Day 1: Do you view your submission as; Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, DD/lg; or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

13 January 2017 – i view my submission as a Dom/sub. i proudly say i am a sub, bottom, boy! i take great pleasure in calling other Men, SIR…even if they are bottoms. One night i called a boy Sir, and he quickly said, “oh, i’m not a Sir.” But i still think of him as a Sir every time I see him now. i even call young men Sir if i think they could be Dominant. Saying a lot is a verbal way of expressing my submissive nature.
Day 2: Describe who you might submit to and how.

14 January 2017 – The Man i might submit to would be mature and rugged looking, bearded, and extremely self assured. He would live and exude His Dominance. He would be borderline aggressive in His dealings, interactions, and expectations of His submissive. He is kind, compassionate, & passionate sexually and in His lifestyle. Being a service oriented sub my role would be to maintain order in the household, provide assistance with His day to day chores and needs by making calls, answering phones, writing letters, organizing His office and paperwork, running errands, doing his laundry, laying out His clothes, assisting Him with dressing, chauffeuring Him to wherever He needs to go, preparing and serving Him meals, providing foot rubs, massages, and presenting & serving Him a cocktail after His day at work.  

That’s probably a fairly comprehensive list of chores i could do to provide service a Dom
Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom?

Exclusively a submissive, gay, bottom boy in life, love, and sex. No compromises
Day 3: How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive?

15 January 2017 – i am a submissive.  i enjoy being a bottom.  i enjoying serving and pleasing a man…a Dom.  i prefer being called a boy, and i prefer calling Dominant Men, Sir.  i like to submit to the sexual needs and inclinations of a Dom.  i enjoy being used for the satisfaction of a Sir.  That’s how i know i am a submissive…because i am hard wired to be submissive.

Day 4: Do you switch into a dominant role at any time?

Day 5: Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you?

Have you been in more than one D/s relationship?

How were they the same? How were they different?

Day 6: What do you feel are the roots of your submission?

Do you think it has something to do with childhood?

Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline?

Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

Day 7: Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?

Day 8: Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?

Day 9: Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?

Day 10: Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships?

How do you feel about BDSM?

Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?

Day 11: Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission?

How do you define service?

What does it mean to you?

If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?

Day 12: Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself?

If no, is there a particular reason why?

Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission?

Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

Day 13: Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission?

Why or why not?

Are there limits to this?

Day 14: Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit?

If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?

Day 15: Has your submission evolved over time?

If so, how has it evolved for you?

If not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?

Day 16: Have you found your submission has changed with different partners/relationships?

If you’re involved with partners of both sexes, does your submission relate or change based on gender or does it depend on the person?

Day 17: What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?

Day 18: Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?

Day 19: How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?

Day 20: Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?

Day 21: Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?

Day 22: Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?

Day 23: Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?

Day 24: What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?

Day 25: Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?

Day 26: What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?

Day 27: Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?

Day 28: Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticized for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?

Day 29: Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?

Day 30: Is your need to submit being met?

If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and still be happy/content if you were never able to express your submission in the way that feels best to you again?

What makes submission special to you?
thanks for reading,
boy stray 

30 Days to Define Y/your Kink as a submissive – Day 2

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive i saw these questions on another blog ( http://collaredmom.com/define-your-kink) and thought it would interesting to respond to one question a day (probably non-sequential days) until all are covered. Maybe Y/you will consider writing Y/your own responses in a journal so Y/you can periodically review to see how Y/you have grown or changed.  

If You are a Top/Dom/Master it is possible to rework the questions to reflect Your perspective.

Day 1: Do you view your submission as; Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, DD/lg; or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

13 January 2017 – i view my submission as a Dom/sub. i proudly say i am a sub, bottom, boy! i take great pleasure in calling other Men, SIR…even if they are bottoms. One night i called a boy Sir, and he quickly said, “oh, i’m not a Sir.” But i still think of him as a Sir every time I see him now. i even call young men Sir if i think they could be Dominant. Saying a lot is a verbal way of expressing my submissive nature.

Day 2: Describe who you might submit to and how.

14 January 2017 – The  Man i might submit to would be mature and rugged looking, bearded, and extremely self assured.  He would live and exude His Dominance.  He would be borderline aggressive in His dealings, interactions, and expectations of His submissive.  He is kind, compassionate, & passionate sexually and in His lifestyle.  Being a service oriented sub my role would be to maintain order in the household, provide assistance with His day to day chores and needs by making calls, answering phones, writing letters, organizing His office and paperwork, running errands, doing his laundry, laying out His clothes, assisting Him with dressing, chauffeuring Him to wherever He needs to go, preparing and serving Him meals, providing foot rubs, massages, and presenting & serving Him a cocktail after His day at work.  

That’s probably a fairly comprehensive list of chores i could do to provide service a Dom

Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom?

Exclusively a submissive, gay, bottom boy in life, love, and sex. No compromises

Day 3: How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive?
Day 4: Do you switch into a dominant role at any time?
Day 5: Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you?
Have you been in more than one D/s relationship?
How were they the same? How were they different?
Day 6: What do you feel are the roots of your submission?
Do you think it has something to do with childhood?
Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline?
Is it a sexual thrill or something else?
Day 7: Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?
Day 8: Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?
Day 9: Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?
Day 10: Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships?
How do you feel about BDSM?
Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?
Day 11: Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission?
How do you define service?
What does it mean to you?
If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?
Day 12: Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself?
If no, is there a particular reason why?
Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission?
Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?
Day 13: Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission?
Why or why not?
Are there limits to this?
Day 14: Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit?
If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?
Day 15: Has your submission evolved over time?
If so, how has it evolved for you?
If not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?
Day 16: Have you found your submission has changed with different partners/relationships?
If you’re involved with partners of both sexes, does your submission relate or change based on gender or does it depend on the person?
Day 17: What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?
Day 18: Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?
Day 19: How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?
Day 20: Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?
Day 21: Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?
Day 22: Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?
Day 23: Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?
Day 24: What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?
Day 25: Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?
Day 26: What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?
Day 27: Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?
Day 28: Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticized for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?
Day 29: Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?
Day 30: Is your need to submit being met?
If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and still be happy/content if you were never able to express your submission in the way that feels best to you again?
What makes submission special to you?
thanks for reading,

boy stray 

The Master…the end!

i continued my daily check in for about eight more days.  And i received not one message of acknowledgement.  Getting more and more sure i was being played the fool, i emailed him through a Kink BDSM hookup site that i saw him on repeatedly during those eight days.

i wrote a simple note asking if i should continue to check in daily.  A terse note came back, “I don’t have time for this now boy”.  i wrote “Fine Sir” back to him. His response, “I am much to busy for this at this time”.

It was quite obvious a couple weeks ago it would come to an end soon. But silly boy kept hope alive. Now it is done.

i done been played yet again.

my journey continues & my head is held high.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive 

i saw these questions on another blog ( http://collaredmom.com/define-your-kink) and thought it would interesting to respond to one question a day (probably non-sequential days) until all are covered.  Maybe Y/you will consider writing Y/your own responses in a journal so Y/you can periodically review to see how Y/you have grown or changed.  

If You are a Top/Dom/Master it is possible to rework the questions to reflect Your perspective.
Day 1: Do you view your submission as; Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, DD/lg; or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

13 January 2017 – i view my submission as a Dom/sub.  i proudly say i am a sub, bottom, boy!  i take great pleasure in calling other Men, SIR…even if they are bottoms.  One night i called a boy Sir, and he quickly said, “oh, i’m not a Sir.”  But i still think of him as a Sir every time I see him now.  i even call young men Sir if i think they could be Dominant.  Saying a lot is a verbal way of expressing my submissive nature.
Day 2: Describe who you might submit to and how.

Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom?

Day 3: How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive?

Day 4: Do you switch into a dominant role at any time?

Day 5: Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you?

Have you been in more than one D/s relationship?

How were they the same? How were they different?

Day 6: What do you feel are the roots of your submission?

Do you think it has something to do with childhood?

Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline?

Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

Day 7: Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?

Day 8: Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?

Day 9: Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?

Day 10: Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships?

How do you feel about BDSM?

Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?

Day 11: Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission?

How do you define service?

What does it mean to you?

If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?

Day 12: Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself?

If no, is there a particular reason why?

Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission?

Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

Day 13: Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission?

Why or why not?

Are there limits to this?

Day 14: Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit?

If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?

Day 15: Has your submission evolved over time?

If so, how has it evolved for you?

If not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?

Day 16: Have you found your submission has changed with different partners/relationships?

If you’re involved with partners of both sexes, does your submission relate or change based on gender or does it depend on the person?

Day 17: What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?

Day 18: Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?

Day 19: How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?

Day 20: Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?

Day 21: Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?

Day 22: Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?

Day 23: Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?

Day 24: What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?

Day 25: Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?

Day 26: What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?

Day 27: Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?

Day 28: Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticized for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?

Day 29: Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?

Day 30: Is your need to submit being met?

If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and still be happy/content if you were never able to express your submission in the way that feels best to you again?

What makes submission special to you?

Get Off Y/your Asses Men!

Last night was the first meeting of this new group i came up with that has the goal of drawing in interested individuals new to the Leather Kink BDSM lifestyle.  T/they are turned on by M/men in full leather.  T/they are kinky and want to meet other gay M/men like T/them.  T/they are drawn to various BDSM activities and the implements used to induce pain and pleasure.  T/they are just curious.

W/we want T/them all! 

This group meeting had three RSVP’s, then one dropped out of the “interested” list completely before i had even left the house.  my former Mentor & Guardian came with one of His boys after much conversation via text trying to coax Him to at least meet and discuss O/our concepts and direction.  W/we arrived before the established meeting time and talked, exchanging ideas.  Approximately twenty five minutes later a participant came in to the coffee shop.  After introductions W/we learned his whole kink revolved around ONE and only one activity he wanted done to him, and he was wanting to find a partner or two to accommodate his kink.  That clearly was not O/our focus.  The second Man, a Top, did not make it.  i hope He comes to the next meeting.  i was a little bummed out about the turnout till i realized W/we had a 50% show rate…one out of two came.  Success!

i got home and saw the participant who came had removed himself from the group listing already.
My question to Y/you:  

Does an official, organized and sanctioned mentoring program exist in Y/your Leather Kink BDSM community?

If so, i would like to hear all about it.  If not, was there a program at one time and it petered out, or Y/you just couldn’t get that “kite to fly” where Y/you live?  

i want to pick Y/your brains, mine Y/your thoughts and experiences.  

As a nurse i was once asked by another nurse, “why do nurses ‘eat’ their young?”  i hadn’t realized it was a pattern of behavior for older, seasoned nurses to make life hell for new nursing graduates.  i vowed not to do that as i grew into my professional role.  And i never did.  i loved teaching, modeling behaviors, and showing them the ropes in their new career.

i tell Y/you all that not to brag but to put my current actions, goals and drive into seeing that this Leather, Gay, Male, BDSM & Kink Mentoring program gets off the ground.  i don’t see the older, seasoned Leather Men/boys eating their young.  i see some ignoring newbies and others seeing the newbie, but letting H/him flounder trying to meet others, learn protocol, experience BDSM and Kink, and just trying to fit in somewhere…anywhere!  Very few will offer a hand of recognition, support and encouragement to that lonely new guy.

Why is that Men/boys? 

i have been there.  i have floundered, fucked up, nearly got myself into possibly dangerous situations, and why?  Because i had no knowledge, no experience, no friends and/or no connections in the community i wanted so desperately to join.

my goal as a not so new newbie is to help establish a program for other newbies that develops mentor/mentee connections so the newbie doesn’t have to walk alone on H/his journey.  H/he will have a friend, a guide, a mentor beside him.

So, get off Y/your asses Men!  Can Y/you help a Leather brother?

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

 

All in 4 Foreskin

Why do so many men, gay and straight, have such a love for or fetish for foreskin?

Got me!  But count me in.

Having been circumcised as a poor, defenseless baby i lived my life happily as a cut child and adolescent.  However, in Junior High School gym class i saw my first uncut dick…or maybe it was standing next to an older boy at one of those old floor to chest tall urinals.  I was taking a peek to see what he had…as boys, and most men, will do.  He was uncut.  And larger than my little ole peter as a 13 year old boy.  i was amazed.  Fascinated by his cock.  It was so different, and bigger.  It was my little spark of awareness that not every boy was just like me.

My first lover was uncut.  Loved playing with it, stroking it, sucking and licking under the foreskin.  Then, he went and had it cut off.  As an adult mind you.  No erections allowed for weeks.  Tell that to a twenty something year old man!  Anyway that relationship ended poorly, but my fetish for foreskin continued to gain in momentum.

i love the way they look and feel, and how they taste and smell (clean of course).  i wanted one of my own to play with and enjoy.  A long time ago – was it twelve, or fifteen years ago in one of my searches for uncut dick pics i came upon a mention of foreskin restoration.  So, you know, i just had to go there.  It was possible to re-cover the glans (head) with skin that was stretched over a period of time from loose skin left behind when the mutilation, i mean, circumcision was performed.  

i did the manual tugging of the loose skin off and on for years.  I tried the taping method but it hurt like hell peeling the tape off my dick several times a day after each urination and then taping it up again.  Neither worked for me.  i just had to be content playing with ones that i happened to come across through the next bunch of years.

Then another search for something brought up a link that took me to, of all things, foreskin restoration again.  This time there were things you could buy and pictures of different cocks in all stages of restoration progress. i thought, “i gotsta have me one of those.”  The two devices i evaluated for purchase were TLC and DTR devices.  Both seem to be very good products, but i decided on the DTR Tugging device.

i ordered it, paid only $60, received it three days later and began using it immediately.  During my waking hours i am seldom not wearing it.  It is a cone shaped hard plastic primary piece with a soft clear rubber-like “gripper”.  Y/you place the hard cone piece on Y/your soft penis, roll or pull the loose skin around the head of the penis up onto the cone.  When the cone is covered with as much skin as possible the gripper is pulled down over the skin covered cone holding in place Y/your foreskin.  The last thing to do is attach the other end of the cone device to an elastic, like a suspender that has a clamp on it, to a long sock, knee brace or whatever, down one leg.  The tension is adjusted to your comfort level and to maximize the results Y/you will get.  It doesn’t or at least shouldn’t hurt.  If it does, lessen the tension on the strap and reevaluate the positioning of the foreskin under the gripper.  Every two hours or less remove it, let Y/your dick get some air, take a piss, and put it back on…if quicker results is Y/your goal.  It can be worn discreetly under clothes for just a couple hours a day or all day.  Just don’t sleep in it.  Since men get nocturnal erections (sleep hardons) damage can happen like skin tears and bruising.  Read all the dos and don’ts, be cautious, go slowly at first.

It’s a slooowwww process, but everyone i talked with online says it is well worth it and that the time will fly by.  

This Blog post should not be construed to be medical advice.  It is merely the thoughts and experiences of the writer.

Resources:
foreskinrestore.com      Lots of pics

tlctugger.com        Lots of educational videos

restoringforeskin.org           A site to join, share Y/your journey and Y/your cock pics showing progress.

Facebook group: foreskin restoration        many great guys offering support, information, and tips

Or just google the hell out of it and learn all Y/you can.

To follow my progress, my pics will be on restoringforeskin.org

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Will, Won’t or Maybe Monday

Last week i covered several kinky activities but said i would talk about bondage this week.  

Bondage is the consensual restriction of movement of another person for erotic pleasure through the use of implements like rope, chains, cuffs, neckties, zip ties, or tape.  Bondage is exciting because the submissive surrenders total control and puts complete trust in their Dom.  This is a key element to bondage play.  You must know and have vetted the Dom with whom you are playing.  You have to trust your Dom and know he will do nothing beyond the scope of activities that you negotiated prior to play.  You know He will do nothing to deliberately cause harm to you.

i actually have been bound only a few times, but thoroughly enjoyed each time…and look forward to more intense play next time. Previously i wrote about being shackled, wrists and ankles, to a metal bench, but before that i was shackled, again wrists and ankles, to a seat for anal electro play.  These two sessions were with the same Dom who i completely trust and highly respect.  Also, i participated in classes on flogging where i was cuffed loosely to a wall.  Then, there were also a couple of times i played “pretend restraints”.  That was when i wanted to submit but was too afraid to give up control and didn’t know the other person well, so i had not developed a trusting relationship yet.
Bondage Precautions (edited from Wikipedia)

The use of a “safeword”, or some clear way for the sub to indicate distress or pain, and a wish to discontinue, temporarily stop or vary the activities of the play.

Never leave a bound person alone.

Avoid positions or restraints that may cause postural asphyxia, the restriction of breathing.

Make sure that the sub changes positions at least once an hour (to avoid circulation problems).

Make sure that the sub can be released quickly in an emergency.

Avoid restraints which impair breathing. (Gags or hoods which block the mouth can become asphyxial hazards if the subject vomits or the nose becomes otherwise blocked).

Remain sober; alcohol and drugs should be avoided.

Accidents and lasting damage can generally be avoided by very simple security precautions and a rudimentary knowledge of the human anatomy. One very simple safety measure is to ask the subject every so often if he is all right. Another is to check body parts like hands and feet for numbness or coldness, which can happen if nerves have been pinched or blood circulation has been blocked. Another is to check for skin discoloration. Skin that does not get enough oxygen turns bluish. If blood can get in, but cannot get out because one of the veins has been blocked, that part of the body turns purple.

If the sub has been gagged or can otherwise not verbally communicate, a different form of the safeword is needed. For instance, they may hum a simple tune, or open and close one or both hands repeatedly, or release an object held in one hand (such as a rubber ball, or a scarf).

Play hard, play safe.

boy stray

Someday He’ll Come Along, the Man i…?

Today i have an ear worm of that old song, “Someday he’ll come along, the man I love, and he’ll be big and strong, the man i love!  i hesitate to say the man i love part, because i already have love for and from my spouse of many years.  Other words I come up with to finish the stanza are: the Man i serve or the Man i submit to, or the Man who is my Dom!  Not quite the same flow of words, huh?

Why is this song, or more accurately this line from a song stuck in my head today?  Well, i get about forty to fifty emails daily that are from BDSM and/or Leather Men’s groups every day.  i see lots of images of hyper masculine Leather clad men embracing or Dominating a submissive boy in many of those emails.  Also, now that i have reached my late midlife reawakening i find myself about as horny as teenage boy who first finds out he can now ejaculate when he masturbates.  What an incredible feeling!

i use to imagine that a Knight in shining armor would ride in on his white horse and sweep me off my feet and take me to a gleaming castle on a hill to live happily ever after.  So much for fairy tales!  That image has morphed into a tall hairy Dom wearing full black dress leather roaring in on His Harley, smoking a cigar, carrying a flogger on his belt, and sweeping me away to His dungeon to live my life joyfully as His submissive taking care of His every need.  Wow, how time changes one’s hopes, dreams, desires…

Someday He’ll come along, the Dom i love?

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

If He doesn’t come soon, maybe i can change the ear worm to the song, “i’m going on a Man hunt!”

Maintaining Momentum

The holidays threw me into an “absence of Leather” funk.  So much time and energy was spent on decorating the inside and outside of our home for Christmas, sending out Christmas cards, spending time with our vanilla friends, and eating a lot of all the wrong kinds of food, that my Leather connection was missing for most of December.  It has left me longing for my friends who are leather boys, for my BDSM classes, and opportunities to go out to the local Leather bar.

Since i no longer have a mentor and the prospects for finding one at this time is slim i thought i would try another option.  i decided to try to build a mentoring program, or at least reach out to other Men/boys who are in the same situation i am. I put together a group for socializing and working toward developing a mentoring program for newbies and unaffiliated Men/boys on the very popular website and app called Meetup.  There are now six interested, but only 3 of us RSVP’d for the first organizing meeting next week. 

i read about developing a mentoring program but got anxious i was over my head with this. i was beginning to doubt myself and feeling it wasn’t fully thought out.  I decided to reach out to my former mentor to see if He might be interested in working with me on this.  In text i gave Him the 10 second “elevator” speech about why i started the group and its goals. He said He would consider it and get back to me. i do hope He agrees to be involved at least in some small capacity. 

The holidays are over now and my leather boys meeting is scheduled for this Sunday, and the club that includes Doms and subs will be meeting again this month as well. BDSM classes resume in February so my need for Leather BDSM connection is on the upswing. 

i suppose i am learning that there are ups and downs in connections, meetings and activities.  If i fill the down times with relevant reading and blogging i should be able to get through the funk until the next upswing. 

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Will, Won’t or Maybe Monday #4

There are so many activities in the BDSM/Kink arsenal that provide pain and pleasure, and allows the Dominant and submissive to overtly demonstrate their affinity for the role they have chosen, or that chose them.  Today i am writing about activities from the BDSM activities checklist that i have done or would like to do…ane one i would NOT do under any circumstances. 

Being serviced 

This is probably well known to most people who have had sex.  In the vanilla context i call it the “do me tops” and “do me bottoms”.  These are the people who lie there practically motionless wanting to have sexual things done to them. They don’t participate other than just having an orifice filled or a hard dick to be ridden.  i think they can be and usually are extremely boring in bed.  However when the power dynamic is added to the scenario it is very erotic to service a Master or to be “done” by the Master.  The act of submitting to your Master or Dom and servicing them sexually without expecting or wanting reciprocity gives a submissive great pleasure …at least it does me!  Servicing and being serviced are two different things (for those new to BDSM/Kink and Power exchange).  As i mentioned in a previous post most online profiles written by submissives focus on what the Dom can do to them, not what the sub can do FOR the Dom.   The subs are requesting to be serviced by a Master.  They aren’t telling a prospective Master what services they can provide the Dominant.  Not to belabor the point but subs should be offering to clean house, do the dishes, cook for and serve the Master, run errands, chauffeur the Master, do laundry, provide secretarial services – answering the phone, typing letters and printing documents for Sir, provide event planning and organization, and a myriad of other tasks to make Sir’s life less hectic and more enjoyable.  

i would suggest deep self examination to determine what services you are wanting to provide a Master, and don’t agree to do those things you detest.  Personally i hate housework.  i would never willingly offer to do that.  However, i love organizing events and making travel arrangements.  That is two things i would definitely offer to provide my Sir.  Make your lists of “will do” and “won’t do” chores, activities or tasks you like to do, and hate to do.  Then write your profile.  The play and sex to me are secondary to other ways i can serve my Master unless he only wants to be serviced.

Being bitten  

I have been bitten only once and that was by a girl when I was about thirteen.  It hurt like hell.  I hadn’t quite gotten to my awakening that can equate pain with pleasure. When I became sexually active i found that men kissing and sucking the back and sides of my neck was really arousing.  It drove me to the heights of passion.  Alas, i have not been bitten by anyone since i was a young teen boy.  But with all the Vampire movies and books showing how being bitten hurts a bit but is also sexually charged i would like to have that experience.  It seems to be the ultimate act of power, seduction, submission, pain and pleasure.  

Bondage  

i will discuss this next week

Boot worship

There is something very sexy about a masculine Dominant in black leather boots that have been well cared for.  Sometimes a Dom wants your submissiveness to show overtly by having you lick, kiss and stroke His boots.  When i am fully into my sub role i easily and gladly prostrate myself or kneel before Sir and worship His boots, and in turn show that i worship His Dominance over me.  It’s not for everyone, and i have never been ordered to lick dirty boots or the sole of the boots.  i would have to evaluate that order based on what kind of dirt or filth may be on them.  It is always my honor and pleasure to worship His boots.

“Brown” Showers 

This is a shitty topic that I know very little about and do not want to experience under ANY circumstances.  Once a long time ago i had an experienced Leather man ask me if i recycled.  i responded, “well sure i do” thinking he out of the blue wanted to know if i put my old papers, empty bottles and cans in a separate bin for the garbage collectors to pick up.  That is  NOT what he was referring to. Later i learned that he was talking about ingesting his feces freshly presented.  i was told once that most people are either shit negative, shit positive or shit neutral.  i am a resounding Shit Negative.  i don’t like it…no way, no how!  But to each their own kinks.

Cages (Being locked inside)

i am claustrophobic and at this time i don’t trust ANYONE enough to be locked in a cage without any way of escaping should the need arise.  It is an act of ultimate trust in the Dom you are playing with or a really stupid move on the part of the submissive.  As with bondage once you are rendered immobile or caged you are at the mercy of the Dominant. I urge you to make the decision to allow yourself to be caged very cautiously and only play with Doms/Masters you know well and have been vetted in community. Have a safe word and tell a friend where you are going, who you are playing with and tell that friend to call you at a prearranged time.  The friend should understand that if they can’t reach you or they haven’t called, that the friend must call the police.  It would be much better to be embarrassed if you are indeed safe and having a great time, than be in a dire situation and no on knows where you are or who you are with.

Caning

The first time i heard of caning was when that nineteen year old boy in Singapore was sentenced for vandalism.  He was to receive four strikes with a rattan cane…a thin, rigid rod.  There were a lot of appeals and international wrangling but in the end he was caned.   

Now, this has become a real implement of pain/pleasure or punishment in the BDSM world. From what i have heard it produces a sharp stinging pain and leaves welts where it strikes the skin.  That young man later said that it caused bleeding and left scars.  That was in 1994.  He is 41 now.  Hard to believe it has been that many years already. Caning, less intense than he received, sounds intriguing to me.

Tell me how you stay safe while playing.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray