Reposted and edited with permission from the Blog bdsmforvanillas written by thesexresearcher. Thank you!
When you get a new submissive, one of the things you can do to ensure that things run smoothly is to create a set of rules. Rules must be adapted to each individual D/s relationship, but here are a bunch of rules you can choose from or use as inspiration.
- The submissive shall not lie.
- The submissive shall NOT consider “Nothing” as an appropriate response to “What’s wrong?”
- The submissive shall be respectful at all times
- The submissive shall not manipulate Dominant, or any situation, in order to achieve their own personal objectives.
- The submissive must wear their “collar” at all times.
- The submissive’s clothing is subject to the inspection and approval of Dominant.
- The submissive shall execute and complete all requests made by Dominant in the manner and time frame they set forth, and agreed upon by the submissive.
- The submissive shall discuss with Dominant all decisions of any significance.
- The submissive shall submit a journal entry to Dominant each day.
- The submissive shall not fear discipline from any matters contained in their journal.
- The submissive is always to act in a manner that reflects positively upon their Dominant.
- The submissive shall not misuse their safe word. It is appropriately used only at times in which they feel their personal safety, either physical or mental (including fear), is compromised.
- The submissive shall refrain from using profane language at all times.
- The submissive shall always make physical or eye contact with Dominant when Dominant enters a room.
- The submissive must let Dominant take care of them.
- Before leaving home every day, submissive must be wearing an item of ownership.
- Each morning, sub will write Dom’s name somewhere on sub’s body. Condition – If they are together, Dom will write their name on sub’s body each morning.
- Each evening, sub must write an e-mail to Dom describing in detail everything that they plan to wear the following day. Or if together, then let them pick out your outfit. Must include: undergarments, outfit, jewelry, perfume.
- Every day after work, when female sub changes out of her work clothes, she must insert the Ben Wa balls into her pussy and wear them until bedtime. She must wear the ben wa balls for all social, exercise, yoga or work out activities.
- Every night submissive must masturbate.
- Submissive will adhere to any preference Dominant might have regarding whether they shower or take a bath.
- Submissive will adhere to any preference Dominant might have regarding whether they bathe or shower at night or in the morning.
- Submissive will also adhere to any preference Dominant has to which body lotion or perfume they use after they bathe/shower.
- The submissive will attempt to avoid disease. Should any medical issue arise, the submissive will inform Dominant immediately.
- The submissive must brush and floss teeth daily.
- Hair must be groomed each day.
- Submissive must exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes each day.
- Submissive must thank Dominant cheerfully
- Submissive will never hide their feelings or thoughts from Dominant.
- Submissive will apologize whenever they have erred.
- Submissive will never hide their tears from Dominant.
- Submissive will not borrow trouble and will not worry about things that are out of their control.
- Submissive will accept all punishments, knowing they are out of care and/or love.
- Submissive will never (or rarely) speak badly of themselves, or there will be consequences.
- Submissive will go to therapy, take medicine, or whatever the Dominant says if they have mental issues like anxiety or depression.
- Submissive will send a “good morning” text to let Dominant know they are awake and to remind them of plans for the day.
- Submissive will let Dominant know whenever they leave the house.
- Submissive will not pick up their phone and answer it when Dominant is talking to them, unless Dominant says otherwise.
- Submissive will ask permission to speak freely when they believe Dominant is making a wrong choice.
- Submissive will always address Dominant as “Sir”, or other name both have agreed on. And keep their eyes respectfully lowered. Unless agreed to not do this.
- If submissive is concerned that they will deviate from an expectation they are to inform Dominant at once. Preferably before.
- Submissive will ask permission to make purchases that they or Dominant do not “Need”.
- Submissive will always come to Dominant with any concerns that they have. Submissive will not be afraid to talk to Dominant.
- Submissive will respond to text messages from Dominant in a reasonable amount of time or explain why it took so long to answer.
- Submissive will keep the household in presentable order
- Submissive will keep dirty laundry to a minimum
- Submissive will fold laundry (without complaint)
- Submissive will wash dishes everyday (Dishwasher)
- Submissive will feed dogs and do their training every morning
- Submissive will cook meals at least 3 times a week
- Submissive will have sex when Dominant sees fit, unless health prevents them from doing so. Submissive will let Dominant know when they are not feeling well enough for sexual activity.
- Submissive will never touch their self in a gratifying way or pleasing way outside of Dominant’s presence or unless they have obtained Dominant’s consent.
- Submissive will never touch a toy unless instructed to do so.
- Submissive will always thank Dominant after play, or sexual use.
- Submissive must also ask permission to orgasm.
- If submissive is given instructions regarding masturbation prior to asking, they must follow those instructions to the best of their ability.
- If submissive wants to buy a new sex toy they must show Dominant so they can make the decision together.
- While in the scene, the submissive will not speak unless to say their safeword or unless the Dominant says they can.
- Submissive may ask for a particular sexual act before starting the scene, but not during.
- Once the scene has started, the Dominant has full control and expects full cooperation from submissive.