my Valentine’s gift to myself this year was to be an encounter, a play session, with a Dom from the Northeast USA. He was coming to my area for a marathon race of some sort. W/we met on recon.com.
W/we wrote and texted for about 5 to 6 weeks planning and anticipating O/our brief time together. W/we exchanged additional photos. And i began to feel trustful…well, as trustful as one can be of an unknown Internet persona.
Anyway, He had assured me He was staying close to the city i live in. However, the Monday before Valentine’s Day He said He was staying in an Air B&B house in a city that was a 45 minute drive away from my home. To say i was disappointed is an understatement. Actually i was pissed.
Because of my current relationship status, and the state of my relationship i do not have hours on end to dedicate to BDSM play. It would be one and a half hours just in travel time. And, He wanted a long, possibly overnight encounter, which i could not possibly do.
i suppose my anger and frustration turned inward because i began to feel ill….like i was coming down with a cold. Coughing. Chills. Body aches. Headache. But, i was still planning to go. We’d arranged for the day after Valentine’s Day for my submission to impact play.
On Valentine’s Day i decided not to go. Mostly, it was the drive. And a bit of trepidation about not really being able to adequately vet an out-of-towner. And a tad of generalized body aches and stiffness making me feel and walk like i was 100 years old.
So, unfortunately i missed Sir using His belt and His computer cord (improvisation since He is travelling) to inflict a mutually satisfying, yet heavy play session.
Am i a scaredy cat? Am i too cautious? Have i watched too many episodes of Criminal Minds? Or should i continue to be careful and try to fully vet a new Dom play partner? Should distance NOT be a factor in considering a play session?
What do Y/you think?
It seems i mostly write about an unsuccessful, unfulfilling BDSM Leather life, but really i think it is an accurate reflection of what most people in the lifestyle go through. i don’t mean to be maudlin or discouraging, but rather to impress upon newbie subs that daily encounters with a vast array of Daddies & Doms is not likely to be the norm.
There is no reason to give up. Do as i do. Get out there. Go to events, dinners, play parties, classes, munches, join organizations, go to Leather bars and other venues. The more you get out there and meet people, and they get to know you, the more likely you are to find play partners, and develop a fulfilling Leather BDSM life.
Thanks for reading,