Crystal Dick & Boring Sex

Tonight I finally decided to have sex again.

I wasn’t really in the mood…low energy, low interest, but a sub bottom boy on one of the hookup sites contacted me and I thought, what the hell, I should force myself to do it.

So, I agreed to have him come over. He said he would be here in 15 minutes. Twenty minutes later he texted that he was leaving his place then. He ended up being 30 minutes late! Pissed me off right off the bat! Plus he again asked where to park when I’d already texted him very precise instructions on parking.

So he walked into my apartment carrying a large backpack all chipper with a chipmunk smile and a quick peck on the lips. Not at all like a sub boy “should” act on first meeting. I directed him to my bedroom and he clunked the backpack he schlepped in loudly on a chair as he put it down. Then, he proceeded to rifle through the bag for at least five minutes looking for something before he pulled out a small pouch that held a glass pipe. He said, “mind if I have a tok?” To which I replied, “if I knew you did meth I never would have invited you over!” “Oh”, he said, “I don’t have to do it. That’s ok.” “I didn’t do any before I came.” LIAR!!

Strike two.

When he took his clothes off he produced a small clicker from his jeans pocket – the control button to the vibrating butt plug he had shoved up his ass before he left his place. He vibrated his asshole all the way here.

WTF???

He wasn’t good at kissing. He was a terrible cocksucker. He couldn’t get hard AND he ended up being a “do me” bottom. Crystal dick, no doubt!

I think men on meth must think they are great at sex and everyone is having as good a time as they seem to be. Boy are they wrong on both points.

After I got him to remove the butt plug, there was about 20 seconds of bad kissing followed by a toothy job of sucking my dick. He only took the head of my cock in his mouth i suppose because he couldn’t deep throat without gagging. Useless!

I tweaked his nipples kind of hard and he jumped and yelped. He apparently didn’t like nipple play.

I realized quickly that he wouldn’t be satisfied with my average sized dick so I stuck a long, extra fat dildo up his ass. He let me jackhammer his ass for over an hour. He didn’t moan or make any sounds…no noise to indicate it felt good and to keep going, or stop you’re killing me. He kept his face buried in a pillow the whole time except when he snorted the poppers every few minutes.

I slapped his ass a few times but he wasn’t into that either.

However, he did keep inching forward as I thrusted the dildo in and out until his upper body was hanging off the side of the bed and he was propping himself up on a couple pillows on the floor beside the bed. Usually if a guy is getting into it they back into the cock or dido even more. But his actions made me feel like he was moving away from it. Maybe he didn’t like it. Perhaps he preferred his vibrating butt plug.

He made no effort or attempt to reciprocate, or give me any pleasure at all. At that point I realized I wasn’t a priority or even of any interest to him and I definitely was not going to be getting off. It was all about him.

Boredom set in after a while, but I wasn’t quite sure what to say or how to end it tactfully. Why I felt the need to be tactful and polite I’ll never understand. So, instead of putting an end to my misery I kept ramming it in his ass alternating deep, hard, rapid thrusts with slower, rhythmic corkscrew type movements. Finally, as my arms were giving out, and my interest had totally petered out he motioned for me to take it out of his ass.

Hallelujah!

He rushed to the bathroom and then returned several minutes later wanting to kiss and resume playing. I stood there, arms crossed and unresponsive to his sexual overtures. He started rifling through his backpack again and produced a bottle of poppers. At that point i picked up a bottle of water I’d placed of the nightstand for him and told him to take it with him for his drive home. He got the point.

Then, the asshole had the audacity to stick his vibrating butt plug back in his ass and turned it on for his drive back home.

What a jerk! What a boring lay!

Are there any guys out there who don’t use Crystal Meth? Do any gay men out there know how to have mutually satisfying, reciprocal sex, or is everyone now a limp assed, crystal dick “do me” bottom?

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not down on bottoms. And I’m not bottom shaming. I love bottoms, especially those boys with a hairy ass. I love bottoms because I use to be a damn good one. I knew how to take care of a Top.

My resolutions after this fiasco:

1. I reject crystal meth abuse

2. I reject shitty, self centered guys who just lay there like a corpse

3. I reject bad, oh so bad, kissing

4. I reject gay men who can’t proficiently suck a dick without scraping their teeth along the shaft of my cock like they are shredding cheese

5. I reject guys who bring a shit load of toys – primarily dildos – that they intend for me to shove up their asses. It’s an immediate indication that this encounter will be all about them

6. I reject agreeing to hookup when I really don’t want to and with guys I’m not really interested in

7. And I reject remaining silent when the guy turns out to be on meth and is here only for me to “do” them

How can a fifty something year old gay man NOT know how to suck cock like a professional? Cocksucking is Gay 101. It’s the first thing you learn when you realize you like dick.

I just thought of an entrepreneurial idea – a course for gay men on how to have mutually satisfying sex (making love but in the absence of love) AND a course on sensual, deep kissing for beginners. Oh, and for all you guys who can’t adequately suck a dick – Cocksucking 101.

Have any of you had similar experiences? Do you run into a lot of crystal meth users where you are? Anyone want to admit they are lousy cocksuckers? Any meth users want to refute my opinions? What do you think about my business idea?

Hope to hear from you guys

Thanks for reading,

Sir Titan