30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 9

 Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?

Yes, that is a part of and a requirement of mine as a submissive.  i want an aggressive Dom, who sets structure, routine, rules, limits and expectations as an integral part of the D/s relationship.  Without those it would seem like a non D/s or vanilla relationship.  

There should be formal period of training.  A contract of agreements and expectations covering each individual in the relationship.  And punishment for breaking the rules, performing a task incorrectly and for insubordination and failure to observe protocol.

The Dom and sub can discuss, disagree, and renegotiate the contract but disrespect of either person is not allowed.

The Dom and sub will discuss and adhere to the Boy’s Bill of Rights.

30 Days to Define Y/your Kink as a submissive – Day 2

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive i saw these questions on another blog ( http://collaredmom.com/define-your-kink) and thought it would interesting to respond to one question a day (probably non-sequential days) until all are covered. Maybe Y/you will consider writing Y/your own responses in a journal so Y/you can periodically review to see how Y/you have grown or changed.  

If You are a Top/Dom/Master it is possible to rework the questions to reflect Your perspective.

Day 1: Do you view your submission as; Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, DD/lg; or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

13 January 2017 – i view my submission as a Dom/sub. i proudly say i am a sub, bottom, boy! i take great pleasure in calling other Men, SIR…even if they are bottoms. One night i called a boy Sir, and he quickly said, “oh, i’m not a Sir.” But i still think of him as a Sir every time I see him now. i even call young men Sir if i think they could be Dominant. Saying a lot is a verbal way of expressing my submissive nature.

Day 2: Describe who you might submit to and how.

14 January 2017 – The  Man i might submit to would be mature and rugged looking, bearded, and extremely self assured.  He would live and exude His Dominance.  He would be borderline aggressive in His dealings, interactions, and expectations of His submissive.  He is kind, compassionate, & passionate sexually and in His lifestyle.  Being a service oriented sub my role would be to maintain order in the household, provide assistance with His day to day chores and needs by making calls, answering phones, writing letters, organizing His office and paperwork, running errands, doing his laundry, laying out His clothes, assisting Him with dressing, chauffeuring Him to wherever He needs to go, preparing and serving Him meals, providing foot rubs, massages, and presenting & serving Him a cocktail after His day at work.  

That’s probably a fairly comprehensive list of chores i could do to provide service a Dom

Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom?

Exclusively a submissive, gay, bottom boy in life, love, and sex. No compromises

Day 3: How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive?
Day 4: Do you switch into a dominant role at any time?
Day 5: Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you?
Have you been in more than one D/s relationship?
How were they the same? How were they different?
Day 6: What do you feel are the roots of your submission?
Do you think it has something to do with childhood?
Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline?
Is it a sexual thrill or something else?
Day 7: Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?
Day 8: Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?
Day 9: Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?
Day 10: Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships?
How do you feel about BDSM?
Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?
Day 11: Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission?
How do you define service?
What does it mean to you?
If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?
Day 12: Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself?
If no, is there a particular reason why?
Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission?
Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?
Day 13: Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission?
Why or why not?
Are there limits to this?
Day 14: Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit?
If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?
Day 15: Has your submission evolved over time?
If so, how has it evolved for you?
If not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?
Day 16: Have you found your submission has changed with different partners/relationships?
If you’re involved with partners of both sexes, does your submission relate or change based on gender or does it depend on the person?
Day 17: What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?
Day 18: Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?
Day 19: How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?
Day 20: Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?
Day 21: Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?
Day 22: Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?
Day 23: Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?
Day 24: What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?
Day 25: Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?
Day 26: What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?
Day 27: Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?
Day 28: Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticized for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?
Day 29: Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?
Day 30: Is your need to submit being met?
If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and still be happy/content if you were never able to express your submission in the way that feels best to you again?
What makes submission special to you?
thanks for reading,

boy stray 

The Master…the end!

i continued my daily check in for about eight more days.  And i received not one message of acknowledgement.  Getting more and more sure i was being played the fool, i emailed him through a Kink BDSM hookup site that i saw him on repeatedly during those eight days.

i wrote a simple note asking if i should continue to check in daily.  A terse note came back, “I don’t have time for this now boy”.  i wrote “Fine Sir” back to him. His response, “I am much to busy for this at this time”.

It was quite obvious a couple weeks ago it would come to an end soon. But silly boy kept hope alive. Now it is done.

i done been played yet again.

my journey continues & my head is held high.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Someday He’ll Come Along, the Man i…?

Today i have an ear worm of that old song, “Someday he’ll come along, the man I love, and he’ll be big and strong, the man i love!  i hesitate to say the man i love part, because i already have love for and from my spouse of many years.  Other words I come up with to finish the stanza are: the Man i serve or the Man i submit to, or the Man who is my Dom!  Not quite the same flow of words, huh?

Why is this song, or more accurately this line from a song stuck in my head today?  Well, i get about forty to fifty emails daily that are from BDSM and/or Leather Men’s groups every day.  i see lots of images of hyper masculine Leather clad men embracing or Dominating a submissive boy in many of those emails.  Also, now that i have reached my late midlife reawakening i find myself about as horny as teenage boy who first finds out he can now ejaculate when he masturbates.  What an incredible feeling!

i use to imagine that a Knight in shining armor would ride in on his white horse and sweep me off my feet and take me to a gleaming castle on a hill to live happily ever after.  So much for fairy tales!  That image has morphed into a tall hairy Dom wearing full black dress leather roaring in on His Harley, smoking a cigar, carrying a flogger on his belt, and sweeping me away to His dungeon to live my life joyfully as His submissive taking care of His every need.  Wow, how time changes one’s hopes, dreams, desires…

Someday He’ll come along, the Dom i love?

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

If He doesn’t come soon, maybe i can change the ear worm to the song, “i’m going on a Man hunt!”