30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 12

Today’s question stirs a great deal anger within my heart and soul.  Let me share my opinions and let me know if you have supporting or dissenting opinions.
Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself?

Hell NO!  i worked hard for MY money and i ain’t giving it away.
If no, is there a particular reason why?

It allows and perhaps even encourages Doms, wannabe Doms and Dom pretenders to take advantage of vulnerable submissives by promising to be everything the sub wants, but first the sub must make a financial contribution to show the sub’s commitment to the D/s relationship/Collaring/training.
Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission?

Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

Yes, i have an opinion about everything.  

my opinion is so strong against financial submission because i nearly allowed myself to be reeled in by unscrupulous people online.  No doubt behind the pictures of handsome faces, buff bodies, and the promise to be everything the sub wants and needs…is an unattractive person from another country preying on gullible men and women who long for the Dom of their dreams.  

my first instance of nearly being taken advantage of was on a popular BDSM/Kink site for gay men.  i received an unsolicited message from a guy who was (at least in the pictures provided) a handsome man with a muscular and well defined body, who stated He was fairly well endowed, and who wanted to be in total control, to be the perfect Master/Dom over me.  my heart was all a flutter, and i felt appealing, wanted, needed.  After all, this gorgeous man who could have anyone reached out for me.  Of course i sent a reply as soon as i finished reading about His desire to own me and be my Master.  He responded quickly solidifying His desire to be MY Dom!

Then came another message saying to show my commitment and desire to submit to Him, I needed to go to a certain website to fill out my likes/dislikes and hard limits.  The first time i fell for it.  i went to the site, filled out a questionnaire, and clicked the button to submit.  I was taken to the next page where I was to enter my credit card numbers.  i can’t remember the exact fee to be charged, but it wasn’t just chump change.  

That is where my voice of reason kicked in and I was brought back to reality.  my mind flooded with many “why” questions.  And also i filled with self doubt…why would someone like THAT want to Dominate someone like me?  Why was He evasive with questions i posed?  Why did He need me to pay something upfront with U/us never having seen each other in real life, or even spoken on the phone?  

What the Hell was wrong with me….why would i pay some stranger who lived who knows where to be a Dom to me?

i messaged him back saying i was not going to pay the fee.  he responded that it was “just a test of my commitment” to him.  This time i didn’t answer his message, and he apparently got the not so subtle hint to buzz off.

Then came a message from another “Dom”, and then another.  I didn’t fall for anymore scams on that site, and actually wrote back saying, “if you think i am going to go to a website and pay to join just for the possibility of becoming your sub…you are crazy.”

my last encounter was on another site where i received a similar statement, but this time he actually admitted he was in Another country…England, and wanted a cyber Dom/sub relationship only.  i emailed him back a couple times before he said he required financial submission as well.  Stupid, gullible me considered it until he said he wanted a financial “gift” that would be suitable for his wife.  i quickly woke up from my fantasy about a young, handsome, hung Dom wanting me.  i ceased further communication with him.

NOW, i ignore all of the emails that seem to follow the same script demanding financial submission prior to any D/s relationship beginning.

So, my tip to you is that there are internet scammers and liars out there trolling for vulnerable people who may be desperately looking for that one “real” opportunity to enter a D/s relationship, and they/we really believe this could be it.

Please ignore those emails, move on to the real, honest and honorable men and women seeking the qualities and personality that you possess.

****One caveat, if and that is a big IF you are already in a committed real life D/s relationship, then and only then should you ever consider commingling your financial assets, or giving your Dom the keys to your personal treasury****

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Collars and Collaring 

The following is a Facebook post i read yesterday on the group BDSM info written by Bear Dallas.  It is copied here with permission of the writer.  It was minimally edited.

Something I posted on another BDSM site that others in the group might find helpful……I offer to you this piece of trivia to remind those of us that tend to have forgotten what the collars encompass and to educate those that feel they know what it means to collar a submissive. A collar not only joins the submissive to the Dominant but, also the Dominant to the submissive. These are the ways that the various collars were menat to be used. Unfortunatley, as it has been brought up several times, the dawn of the internet has brought on what I call “cyber-collars”. It is my opinion that cyber collars are made of pixel dust, of fantasy and illusion. Those using and exchanging these imaginary collars seem to appear and disappear like shadows in the mist lacking the substance and reality of the true meanings of these collars within the Lifestyle. If you are a new Dominant or submissive, please remember that the internet is a tool that augments and gives you access to the real world. If you wish to remain in cyberland, that is clearly your choice but please do so with respect to the real world you try to mimic.
COLLAR OF PROTECTION: This collar is used to give a submissive PROTECTION from any threat be it online or off. The Dom who gives this collar is NOT in control of this submissive. The submissive does NOT belong to the Dom. The Dom is there only to protect and help the submissive get thru a “hard time”, thru instruction, listening, etc, allowing the submissive the time to find where they want to go next, to heal from wounds they may have, and feel safe and comfortable doing it. This collar is NOT permanent, usually worn till the submissive feels comfortable out on their own.

TRAINING COLLAR: This collar is worn during the training period. It can be given by a potential permanent Dom or by a Dom for training purposes only. This collar usually is set in a time limit during negotations. Many believe that emotions should not enter when a training collar is worn. That it interupts the training process, but realistically how can they not enter in some way.

COLLAR OF CONSIDERATION: This collar is worn when a Dom and sub are seriously talking and involved. It shows others that they are serious. It also gives the two involved less interuptions from others so they can get to know one another. It can be set on a time period so that if it isn’t working out one or the other may leave the relationship without bad feelings and feel comfortable doing so, or it may lead to a more formal collar.

FORMAL COLLAR: This collar is worn to show that a submissive has totally given himself to a Dom. The sub is His and not to touched. This collar is meant to be worn forever – very much as binding as a wedding ring and it is only to be taken off by the Dom.

A collar symbolizes the bond between a Dominant and a submissive. It’s a way of showing devotion to your partner and a level of commitment. It’s a symbol of honor, respect, and trust.
To the submissive, a collar means that the Dom has become the center of their world, the very air they breathe. They find protection, comfort, love, and guidance from their Dom and in return they surrender all and strive to please their Dom. THIS SHOULD NOT BE SOMETHING THAT IS TAKEN LIGHTLY!!

A collar should not be rushed into or forced upon someone. It should be something that both individuals desire and agree upon. Before collaring takes place, the individuals should have an extremely strong bond with each other. This can occur only after alot of time is spent with one another talking, learning, sharing, and growing….together!

No matter what collar a submissive may wear it should be respected at all times.
Collars should not be removed by a submissive, one should ask to be released if needed. Do not enter into removal of a collar lightly. Give it time. Use every way possible to re-connect with the Dom. Remember you took the time to get to know this Dom and gave yourself to him, be patient because sometimes life gets in the way of life.
Velcro collar” is an increasingly common term used derisively. The old guard is very protocol oriented and stressed serious lifestyle involvement because of safety issues. More recently, however, email, Internet chat rooms and instant messaging services have allowed the curious to participate in casual (and often anonymous) D/s relationships online. The “velcro” reference indicates the tendency for online Dominants and submissives to have new online collaring ceremonies frequently and without regard for existing relationships which end as easily as logging off.

I hope this has been helpful as a reminder or as a source of new found information.

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 9

 Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?

Yes, that is a part of and a requirement of mine as a submissive.  i want an aggressive Dom, who sets structure, routine, rules, limits and expectations as an integral part of the D/s relationship.  Without those it would seem like a non D/s or vanilla relationship.  

There should be formal period of training.  A contract of agreements and expectations covering each individual in the relationship.  And punishment for breaking the rules, performing a task incorrectly and for insubordination and failure to observe protocol.

The Dom and sub can discuss, disagree, and renegotiate the contract but disrespect of either person is not allowed.

The Dom and sub will discuss and adhere to the Boy’s Bill of Rights.

Again the Phoenix Rises

Once again i call on my imagery of the Phoenix rising from the ashes to return me to life and to continuing to nurture my baby, this Blog.

Wednesday last week i developed a headache.  Kind of a run of the mill frontal aching in my head.  Thought nothing of it.  Thursday my headache remained but now it was severe.  It hurt so much i thought it was either a brain tumor or stroke about to happen.  It was so bad that narcotics couldn’t take the edge off the pain.  Friday it was better…milder but still present.

Just so happened that i had an already scheduled appointment with my primary doctor for that day.  I kind of nonchalantly mentioned my horrible headache i had experienced the day before.  He performed some basic neurological screening in his office to see if i had, or was having, a stroke.  He said, “have you ever noticed one pupil being larger than the other?”  when i said no, he asked me to go to the restroom and look in the mirror to check it myself.  Well, yes the left pupil WAS larger than the right.  my doctor said go straight to the hospital ER and not to drive myself, because “you might have a small bleed (in my head).”

i took Uber right over to the hospital.  When i told the ER clerk my doctor said i might have a bleed in my head, she moved me to the top of the list of patients waiting to be seen by a doctor.  I had a head CT Scan that was normal, but without any definitive diagnosis explaining my larger left pupil i needed to be admitted and would have to get an MRI/A of the head as well.

This morning the neurologist came in my room, looked at my eyes proclaimed it was a benign condition called Atonic Pupil.  Look it up, he said.  Furthermore, he explained that the left pupil was in fact NOT dilated but rather my right pupil was smaller than the left one.  Also, I had the MRI/A done just to make sure there weren’t any other problems or infections.  Forty five minutes of lying on a hard table, being slid into the machine and hearing all those loud sounds banging and knocking in the machine – and not being able to move at all.  The results were obtained four hours later and the results were negative for bleeding in the brain.  And apparently there were no other abnormalities such as infection or atrophy of the brain.  Good News!  So, i guess i “dodged another bullet” as they say.

my Phoenix continues to rise in the face of disease, debility, cancer, and a myriad of other diagnoses.  The Phoenix is my symbol of power in the face of hardship and adversity; it is a symbol of my resilience and perseverance; and my refusal to roll over and die, or tuck my tail and run.  i am assertive with my health issues.  i am my own best advocate navigating the frustrating maze of the healthcare system.  But most of all, i am a fighter.

Well, how does this story relate to me as a leatherboy and BDSM/Kink positive person?  First, i thought of my “toy” bags and the expression on my husband’s face when he opened the if i died.  Ugh!  Then, i thought, i will be dead…won’t matter to me at that point.  Second, i wondered how i could die never having fully lived the Kink lifestyle.  Third, i simply shrugged my shoulders and said, “what next?”  You see, i have had hiv 33 years, AIDS 27 years, had KS (AIDS cancer) 1990-1995, AIDS Pneumonia (PCP) 6 times, bacterial and viral pneumonia a couple times.  my CD4 count was 7 in 1995 so i became a hospice patient.  i got into a placebo based trial (against hospice rules) of a new class of hiv medications and received the real drug.  Two of my friends got placebo and died.  i survived and thrived.  Was thrown out of hospice for not dying.  Diabetes 1998; Anal dysplasia 1998; lipodystrophy and facial atrophy 1998; right breast lump w/biopsy & lumpectomy (benign) 2003; pinched nerve with foot drop on left 2008; Osteoarthritis 2009; Rheumatoid Arthritis 2010; Anal Cancer w/radiation and chemotherapy 2016; Cervical radiculopathy 2016.  And to be current on my list – Atonic pupil 2017.  That is why a Phoenix is at the top of my page!

Thanks for reading,
boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive 

Day 6: What do you feel are the roots of your submission?  Do you think it has something to do with childhood?

Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline?

Is it a sexual thrill or something else?
30 January 2017 – The roots of my submission were ingrained in me by life experiences as a child and through conditioning as an adult.  That is what created the submissive that i am.

As a child i was horribly shy, socially backward, and never seemed to know what to say or do.  In steps my mother who was controlling and domineering.  She told me what to say, what to do, how to act…there was NO arguing or disagreeing with mother.  i didn’t need to make decisions or initiate anything on my own, because i was told everything that guided my life.  

She could fly into a rage with little provocation.  She would grab the nearest tree limb or coat hanger or belt to release her anger and frighten me into submission.  my brother was more defiant and resisted her aggression as he grew older.  i became the best boy there ever was.  Never did anything on my own…or at least never got caught.

When I grew to my gay adulthood I had a boyfriend i played with occasionally.  Once while in the throws of passion he hit me in the face with his fist.  Hard but not really hard.  i asked why he did that.  He said, “I thought you’d like it.”  i kept going back to him for a while…he had a beard, was good looking, tall and really well hung.  Everything i like in a man who is in me!  But he never struck me again.

Another man had a real tit torture fetish.  He’d practically make them bleed.  And believe me he worked them so hard i thought of him every time my nipples brushed against my shirt for several days afterward.

There was another man who slapped my ass when fucking.  i liked his brand of kinky fucking a lot.  He became known to my friends and me as “Spanky.”

Those are the sources of my submissiveness and my conditioning to become a BDSM Kinky bottom boy.

It really has nothing to do with my current or future relationships.

It is however a sexual, emotional and psychological thrill, a yearning, a need to be used by a Dominant man.

Day seven tomorrow.

Thanks for reading

boy stray 

Gray Hair? boy?? WTF?

Tuesday night i was perusing the gay BDSM Kink hookup site when i noticed there was a new email in my box.  i opened the email and was shocked at what i read.

“Boy????  At 61 yrs of age and gray hair???  Boy?  WTF?”

Initially i felt hurt, attacked, put down, humiliated!

i have to admit to an initial discomfort being considered a boy by many Doms and subs in the gay Leather BDSM Community.  i couldn’t quite reconcile my age and mature appearance with being a boy.  

Now i thoroughly enjoy and relate to the role of a boy even with gray hair, and being beyond a certain age.

You see, in my mind being a leather boy is a mindset, an identity, a role assumed in the BDSM Leather community by a submissive male.  It has nothing to do with age or appearance.   It has everything to do with how one sees and expresses himself in the context of a BDSM relationship.  A BDSM boy is similar to a young child in some ways.  A boy wants guidance and direction, and occasionally needs discipline, and a leatherboy seeks a relationship with a male who will fulfill that role for him.  A boy wants to be good and to do as he is told.  he wants to be nurtured, cared for, and loved.

Those are all the things i seek as a leatherboy/submissive. 

This guy’s online attack was just a judgmental,  hateful attempt to undermine my self esteem, and likely an effort to make me reconsider whether i belong on that site.  

he lost on both counts!

The funny thing was that all through his profile he kept referring to himself as a pig. Now i wonder if everyone sees the irony of that because it apparently was outside his realm of awareness.  To him it was unfathomable that i consider myself a boy, but he whole heartedly identified with being a pig.  

So does he sleep in a pig pin, eat slop and lie for hours in the mud and filth all around him.  Doubt it.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

New Year, new me?

As i wrote before last year was the beginning of my transition, or transformation into a more authentic me.  my coming out as a Leather BDSM submissive began in earnest around July 2016.  When i began to exit that final closet i reached out and made connections, met some people, started attending Leather BDSM functions and made friends…good friends.  But, as i bought my leather gear and toys, and updated my recon.com ad, i was faced with a final incongruity.  i realized that my age, physical ability and body do not match the Leather boy vision i hold in my mind’s eye.  i see me in my mind as younger, healthier, more agile, and having a nice body.  Every once in a while i catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or window reflection and i am snapped back to my reality.  But, i know that as time keeps rolling along and if i stay on the current trajectory i would probably end up an old obese man unable to walk much at all, and likely reliant on others for my care.  What kind of Leather sub would that be?

i am in physical therapy again for the fourth time.  This time i have a weak painful left ankle and balance problems.  i have been going just a couple weeks so far.  But, one thing i am told over and over by doctors and therapists is “you need to join a gym.”  i finally heard and internalized that suggestion.  i waited until New Years resolution gym ads started appearing in the mail, I toured two facilities and actually joined one yesterday.  Today my physical assessment was done, my measurements, weight, and body fat analysis was done, and most humiliating was having the front and side view pictures taken.  

For years i have lived with HIV and a metabolic condition called Lipodystrophy.  It leeches out the subcutaneous fat from the arms, legs, butt and face redistributing it to the abdomen, chest and back.  If you can envision a baking potato with tooth picks for arms and legs you can get a general idea, albeit more, much more pronounced than in reality.  Viewing my image frontally in a mirror i look normal.  Turned to the side i look nine months pregnant.  How i think i look is not true to reality.  i absolutely hate seeing myself in mirrors.  And you know, gyms have freaking mirrors everywhere.

So, i am an official member of a nice gym.  i have lots of work to do.  i must remain realistic.  i am not going to build up so much that i will resemble Arnold Schwarzenegger. That is NOT my goal.  my goal is to lose abdominal fat, add strength and definition to my chest, arms, back, butt, thighs and calves.  i need increased strength and flexibility in my joints, especially my left ankle to decrease pain and increase stability and balance.

Why am i telling you this?  i need a support network.  i need someone to journey with me down this path…to hold me accountable.  Will you be my sounding board?

Another thing I did today was to get Botox injections in my forehead, between my eyes, and the outer perimeter of my eyes.     Also, i had a few little bumps burned off my face that had become focal points each time i gazed in the mirror.

A new me is going to emerge slowly over the course of this year so that how i think i look in my mind will align finally with reality.  Wish me luck.

All this is contingent on that man in the White House not getting us nuked in the next six months!!

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define Y/your Kink as a submissive – Day 2

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive i saw these questions on another blog ( http://collaredmom.com/define-your-kink) and thought it would interesting to respond to one question a day (probably non-sequential days) until all are covered. Maybe Y/you will consider writing Y/your own responses in a journal so Y/you can periodically review to see how Y/you have grown or changed.  

If You are a Top/Dom/Master it is possible to rework the questions to reflect Your perspective.

Day 1: Do you view your submission as; Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, DD/lg; or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

13 January 2017 – i view my submission as a Dom/sub. i proudly say i am a sub, bottom, boy! i take great pleasure in calling other Men, SIR…even if they are bottoms. One night i called a boy Sir, and he quickly said, “oh, i’m not a Sir.” But i still think of him as a Sir every time I see him now. i even call young men Sir if i think they could be Dominant. Saying a lot is a verbal way of expressing my submissive nature.

Day 2: Describe who you might submit to and how.

14 January 2017 – The  Man i might submit to would be mature and rugged looking, bearded, and extremely self assured.  He would live and exude His Dominance.  He would be borderline aggressive in His dealings, interactions, and expectations of His submissive.  He is kind, compassionate, & passionate sexually and in His lifestyle.  Being a service oriented sub my role would be to maintain order in the household, provide assistance with His day to day chores and needs by making calls, answering phones, writing letters, organizing His office and paperwork, running errands, doing his laundry, laying out His clothes, assisting Him with dressing, chauffeuring Him to wherever He needs to go, preparing and serving Him meals, providing foot rubs, massages, and presenting & serving Him a cocktail after His day at work.  

That’s probably a fairly comprehensive list of chores i could do to provide service a Dom

Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom?

Exclusively a submissive, gay, bottom boy in life, love, and sex. No compromises

Day 3: How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive?
Day 4: Do you switch into a dominant role at any time?
Day 5: Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you?
Have you been in more than one D/s relationship?
How were they the same? How were they different?
Day 6: What do you feel are the roots of your submission?
Do you think it has something to do with childhood?
Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline?
Is it a sexual thrill or something else?
Day 7: Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?
Day 8: Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?
Day 9: Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?
Day 10: Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships?
How do you feel about BDSM?
Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?
Day 11: Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission?
How do you define service?
What does it mean to you?
If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?
Day 12: Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself?
If no, is there a particular reason why?
Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission?
Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?
Day 13: Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission?
Why or why not?
Are there limits to this?
Day 14: Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit?
If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?
Day 15: Has your submission evolved over time?
If so, how has it evolved for you?
If not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?
Day 16: Have you found your submission has changed with different partners/relationships?
If you’re involved with partners of both sexes, does your submission relate or change based on gender or does it depend on the person?
Day 17: What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?
Day 18: Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?
Day 19: How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?
Day 20: Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?
Day 21: Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?
Day 22: Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?
Day 23: Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?
Day 24: What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?
Day 25: Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?
Day 26: What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?
Day 27: Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?
Day 28: Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticized for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?
Day 29: Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?
Day 30: Is your need to submit being met?
If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and still be happy/content if you were never able to express your submission in the way that feels best to you again?
What makes submission special to you?
thanks for reading,

boy stray 

The Master…the end!

i continued my daily check in for about eight more days.  And i received not one message of acknowledgement.  Getting more and more sure i was being played the fool, i emailed him through a Kink BDSM hookup site that i saw him on repeatedly during those eight days.

i wrote a simple note asking if i should continue to check in daily.  A terse note came back, “I don’t have time for this now boy”.  i wrote “Fine Sir” back to him. His response, “I am much to busy for this at this time”.

It was quite obvious a couple weeks ago it would come to an end soon. But silly boy kept hope alive. Now it is done.

i done been played yet again.

my journey continues & my head is held high.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Get Off Y/your Asses Men!

Last night was the first meeting of this new group i came up with that has the goal of drawing in interested individuals new to the Leather Kink BDSM lifestyle.  T/they are turned on by M/men in full leather.  T/they are kinky and want to meet other gay M/men like T/them.  T/they are drawn to various BDSM activities and the implements used to induce pain and pleasure.  T/they are just curious.

W/we want T/them all! 

This group meeting had three RSVP’s, then one dropped out of the “interested” list completely before i had even left the house.  my former Mentor & Guardian came with one of His boys after much conversation via text trying to coax Him to at least meet and discuss O/our concepts and direction.  W/we arrived before the established meeting time and talked, exchanging ideas.  Approximately twenty five minutes later a participant came in to the coffee shop.  After introductions W/we learned his whole kink revolved around ONE and only one activity he wanted done to him, and he was wanting to find a partner or two to accommodate his kink.  That clearly was not O/our focus.  The second Man, a Top, did not make it.  i hope He comes to the next meeting.  i was a little bummed out about the turnout till i realized W/we had a 50% show rate…one out of two came.  Success!

i got home and saw the participant who came had removed himself from the group listing already.
My question to Y/you:  

Does an official, organized and sanctioned mentoring program exist in Y/your Leather Kink BDSM community?

If so, i would like to hear all about it.  If not, was there a program at one time and it petered out, or Y/you just couldn’t get that “kite to fly” where Y/you live?  

i want to pick Y/your brains, mine Y/your thoughts and experiences.  

As a nurse i was once asked by another nurse, “why do nurses ‘eat’ their young?”  i hadn’t realized it was a pattern of behavior for older, seasoned nurses to make life hell for new nursing graduates.  i vowed not to do that as i grew into my professional role.  And i never did.  i loved teaching, modeling behaviors, and showing them the ropes in their new career.

i tell Y/you all that not to brag but to put my current actions, goals and drive into seeing that this Leather, Gay, Male, BDSM & Kink Mentoring program gets off the ground.  i don’t see the older, seasoned Leather Men/boys eating their young.  i see some ignoring newbies and others seeing the newbie, but letting H/him flounder trying to meet others, learn protocol, experience BDSM and Kink, and just trying to fit in somewhere…anywhere!  Very few will offer a hand of recognition, support and encouragement to that lonely new guy.

Why is that Men/boys? 

i have been there.  i have floundered, fucked up, nearly got myself into possibly dangerous situations, and why?  Because i had no knowledge, no experience, no friends and/or no connections in the community i wanted so desperately to join.

my goal as a not so new newbie is to help establish a program for other newbies that develops mentor/mentee connections so the newbie doesn’t have to walk alone on H/his journey.  H/he will have a friend, a guide, a mentor beside him.

So, get off Y/your asses Men!  Can Y/you help a Leather brother?

Thanks for reading,

boy stray