Will, Won’t or Maybe Mondays

This week I thought i would delve into a few things that tend to instill fear and anxiety in me, but nevertheless are intriguing.

Fire Play

Fire has been a fascination for me since i my days as a child bedwetter.  i would set different things on fire usually in the bathroom sink so I could quickly and easily dispose of the burning embers and ashes.  Thankfully i outgrew that without burning down the house.

Not long ago i observed a Fire Play demonstration at the local Leather bar.  The Dom was an expert at lighting afire various locations on the sub’s body.  It seemed fairly safe because He extinguished the flame within seconds.  i assumed that allowed for intense heat without actually burning the flesh.  There was redness afterward but the sub didn’t complain of lingering pain and no superficial burns were obvious.

If i were to do this i would make absolutely sure the Dom was a Master at fire play.  

Cigar Play

i have observed cigar play several times.  It involves the cigar the Dom happens to be smoking.  The sub was bound each time with his arms over his head and his feet spread apart – also bound.  The lit cigar was carefully brought closer and closer to the skin, first the nipples, then the chest and abdomen.  With the first sub the Dom touched the cigar to the sub’s metal nipple rings then to the metal PA jewelry in the sub’s cock.  The sub squealed with delight at the pain being induced. It was the same Dom in each of the cigar play demonstrations.  So, He was quite adept at this kind of play.  i would trust him to “light me fire” so to speak.  Someday i hope to experience this with that Dom.  

Knife Play

i was completely unaware of knife play until a coworker mentioned to several of us that one of His things was knife play.  I was immediately drawn to him, and to the subject at hand.  i was intrigued, and yet i also felt a twinge of fear at the prospect of having a knife held to my skin by a hot, hung, masculine Dominant.  i even contemplated a small cut here and there.  i suppose that gets into blood play.  Knife play i assume is more about total submission, inducement of fear, and equating that with the sexual component.

Gun Play

This is probably one of the activities i would NOT consent to doing.  i have a strong dislike and fear of guns.  i grew up with lots of them in the home, but i have seen the effects of accidental discharge of guns, and the aftermath of intentional shooting of innocent victims.  i know that even when the person handling the gun “knows” it has no bullets they have discharged, striking and injuring or killing people including children.  i fear accidentally being shot!

Breath Control

i cannot submit to breath control either.  i use to be able to hold my breath for a fairly long time, but after several bouts of pneumonia my lung capacity has diminished.  Also, the extreme difficulty breathing i had with each episode of pneumonia there was severe shortness of breath, so the thought of having my breathing restricted or controlled by another person is frightening to me.  i even have trouble with a gag of any kind shoved into my mouth.  This is a strong phobia for me.  


A seasoned Dom told me once that rape/abduction/gang bang scenerios were the most commonly verbalized fantasies of most submissives.  i too have dreamed of being wanted by someone so much that i would totally submit to being abducted and repeatedly “raped” even though it would be consensual Play.  Also, i have wanted to be desired so much that many hot Men would line up waiting their turn to pump me full of their cum while other men held me down.

However the Dom who told me that also said it is extremely hard for this type of scenario to be planned and executed.  Too many players involved for it to be adequately carried out.  Then there is the liability involved if there is an injury, or if the sub claims it was forced and non consensual.  But a boy can dream, can’t he?


i suppose Y/you could call me a scaredy cat since i seem to fear lots of BDSM activities.  And again, while i would like to get rid of my fears, and submit to being confined or caged, i have trouble trusting anyone enough to give up that much freedom of movement.  i fear being caged and having the Dom turn out to be a psycho, or that he has a heart attack or stroke with no keys readily available for escape.  i realize the likelihood of that happening is remote, I still harbor those fears.
i would urge you to be very careful about hooking up with new Doms and submitting to any kind of edge play like the ones i briefly described above.  Always err on the side of caution.  If He is a reputable Dom He will want to play with you when a strong bond of trust develops between Y/you two.

Will, Won’t or Maybe Monday

This week i will be reaching a bit to do each of these activities justice.  Personally i have very limited experience with these. So, let’s begin…


i have experienced electricity play once.  The Dom i was playing with wanted me to experience several different types of play all in one session.  He inserted an electrified dildo up my butt, and increased the intensity slowly.  It felt alternatingly stimulating and then painful, and back again.  Not sure why put it kept popping out, so He would reinsert it.  He did that several times.  i was cuffed and blindfolded so the only thing i sensed was hearing and feeling.  There was nothing to smell or taste.  Then, all of a sudden there was a power surge and my asshole felt like a thousand knives were being shoved in and out pulsating rapidly.  It hurt so intensely that a safe word didn’t enter my mind.  i instantly jumped up as far as i could, pulled against the ankle and wrist cuffs, and yelled, “stop, stop, that hurts!”  By then He had turned it off.  i was afraid to try it again until i attended a class on electro play.  Now i am willing to try it, but will really need to trust that the Dom is extremely knowledgeable and experienced in opening the electrical system.

Examination (Physical/Medical Play)

Once i had an allergy doctor who i sensed was gay although he was married.  He was at least twenty five years older than me, and I was in my mid twenties at the time.  He asked about medical history and any health issues i might have.  i mentioned swollen lymph nodes in my groin.  He asked if he could examine me.  Of course i said yes; he was a sexy older man, and a doctor!  i lowered my pants and instantly got an erection.  With that response he lingered a bit longer than he probably should have, asking me questions, my pants around my ankles and a boner pointing right at him.  We made a connection and i returned several times to be examined and to even “examine” his big fat uncut dick.  

Doctor Play had always been a fantasy of mine, so every time i have a good looking doctor i try to get them to have me drop my pants.  Very hot fantasy…come true.

Exercise – Forced

This activity on the checklist is one i would not submit to.  Some Doms force their subs to workout very hard pushing beyond their limits.  This can be done as a form of punishment or when a Dom wants His sub to lose weight, bulk up, or just to exert control over His sub.  I don’t dislike working out, but know my limit…my point of muscle fatigue and can’t push beyond that point.  

Exhibitionism – Friends/Strangers

Exhibitionism involves risky behaviors that can be illegal if one exposes himself to strangers or has sex where strangers can see what is happening.  Exposing oneself to friends is not likely to lead to arrest. It most likely will be surprising, maybe titillating, or even a funny, laughable event.  

Exhibitionism of course does not have to include genital exposure or sex.  It could be anything that might be shocking, or provocative, or even gross and disgusting, or embarrassing.  

Personally i don’t mind my friends and associates/acquaintances to see my exhibitionism if they are open to it.  But that’s as far as i will go.  

Eye Contact Restriction

This activity is one i do a great deal when meeting or interacting with a Dom i do not know, or know well.  Some Doms will tell you to look at them, and others may tell you NOT to look them in the eyes.  With Doms i feel it is a sign of respect as a submissive.  However in my non Leather life i maintain eye contact very easily with everyone i speak with.  While this is my personal opinion and how i approach Doms, i have never had anyone in the lifestyle tell me what is expected or what is protocol in these situations.

Face Slapping

This is another form of impact play.  It can be done hard, or more softly, to get a subs attention or to correct behavior or for discipline.  i don’t mind being slapped just so it is not hard enough to loosen or knock out a tooth.  Previously i mentioned being hit in the face by a trick i played with repeatedly.  He didn’t slap…he used his fist.  Didn’t really like that much.


Ok, i even hate the word fart.  To me it is crude and describes something i would just as soon not hear or smell coming out of me or anyone else.  But, it is a kink that some people have.  i suppose it is akin to the kink of scat play.  It’s not my kink, but if it is yours that’s great.

Fisting – Anal

i love anal play and nearly everything having to do with the ass.  i love getting fucked, fingered, and inserting various sizes of dildos.  i love rimming a hot man’s ass.  The one thing i have not accomplished anally is being fisted.  There has been three attempts.  None got much beyond several fingers.  i have read and been told it is the ultimate anal sensation.  Once you get fisted nothing else compares.  It has to be undertaken slowly and carefully, and preferably not while on drugs or being drunk.  Pain during fisting is likely at first but is an indicator that something needs to be adjusted.  More lube, slower, take a break, whatever.  Drugs and alcohol dampen sensations and you may not get a pain signal saying back off a bit for a while.  Real damage and injury can occur when fisting is undertaken with an inexperienced Top, or done too quickly, at the wrong angle, and without enough lube.  
Just want to say these are my opinions alone, and aren’t meant to pass judgment on any activity or on those who like activities that personally don’t with me.  
Have fun, be safe!

Will, Won’t or Maybe Mondays 

As we continue down the checklist i am including most of the activities possible between consenting adults.  Today we’ll look at four that i have knowledge, experience, and a fondness for, and one that is not my kink at all.

Cock Worship

What can i say about cock worship?  i have done it since the first one i tasted when i was twenty years old.  Cock worship is more than simply cock sucking.  To worship cock you must afford it reverence, respect, adulation.  you approach a cock the way you would a religious shrine.  Some apprehension and reflection on the beauty and power that manifests in that Dom’s cock.  your ultimate goal and desire is to service that cock in the manner such a powerful piece of flesh demands.  you take your time with it.  And when He shoots His load, the essence of life and humanity, you do not spit it out.  you gratefully accept it into your body with deep appreciation.

That is Cock Worship!


A collar is a device of any material that is worn around the neck of the submissive during play.  However, more importantly, the collar is a symbol worn by a submissive denoting that they are in a D/s relationship and/or are owned.  Some Masters and Doms will conduct a formal collaring ceremony either privately or sharing the occasion with friends and community.  Also, there are collars of consideration and training collars.  Collars are not a piece of jewelry to be touched and fondled by other people.  Remember respect in the BDSM Kink community is very important.  Always ask if you can look closer or touch it.  Be prepared to hear a NO.  If you see someone who is collared it is appropriate to speak to the Dom first and ask if it is okay to speak with or hug the submissive person.  Again, respect.  You are acknowledging the Dom’s position in community and in that relationship.  Usually the collar is locked onto the sub’s neck, and the Dom holds the key.  If the D/s relationship ends, the collar is removed by the Dom.  Recently i attended a memorial service where I learned when a submissive dies it is important to treat the collar with reverence and that it can be placed in an honored position in the home of the Dom or the caregiver if that person is a member of the Leather community.  A collar has great significance and deserves your respect.


Cuffs are exciting, exhilarating pieces of BDSM equipment.  As i have related in previous posts i submitted to being cuffed as recently as yesterday for an erotic photo shoot.  It is ultimate submission in my mind because you are giving complete power over to the Dom through an overt action that signifies ultimate trust in that Dom.

Once you are cuffed He has total control of you and can do anything He wants to you.  Trust must be established prior to this kind of submission.  i completely trusted my photographer.

Being cuffed yesterday put me immediately into a sub headspace.  My other senses heightened.  i knew what i hoped He would do as He held total power and control over me.  But, that’ll wait for another time and person.


Some Doms and subs get into diaper play and infantilism.  The sub regresses to that stage in life when a baby is completely reliant on it’s parent or caregiver to meet its every need.  And one of those needs is to have their diaper put on, and to be changed when it is wet or soiled.  Players in this kink can be into urine play only or it could involve both piss and shit.

The only thing i can say in addition is, your kink may not be my kink, but your kink is OK!


My best friends!  They are always stiff, just the right length and girth, and perpetually ready for action whenever the urge hits you.  No dinner, drinks or small talk with someone on a date that you hope will fuck you at the end of the evening.  No wondering if He is hung large enough; no wondering if he can get it up and keep it up; no wondering or dreading that He may be a two minute man.

Wake up horny?  Reach for the drawer in your nightstand.  Rough day at work?  Or your trick was a lousy lay?  The dildo is ever ready for hot action.  you don’t have to worry that it’ll cum to soon.  Whether you go deep, hard and fast, or slow and easy, the dildo meets your every need when you want to be penetrated.  I have two pink rubber ones, two inflatable ones of different sizes, and a curvy prostate massager.  All of these are different sizes, shapes and contours.

Stock up.  They can be your best friends too.

More next week.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Will, Won’t or Maybe Monday

i’ve had a time catching up on my Blogging after my trip.  There are many ideas and topics for posts floating around my brain that i will develop in the coming weeks and months, but tonight we’re talking more kink.


Anyone who has been hospitalized for a significant illness may have had a catheter inserted at some point.  In a hospital often the catheter used will appear to be the size of a garden hose, it is lubracated, and seemingly crammed into the dick and passed through the prostate in one quick shove of the tube.  It is usually uncomfortable to downright painful.  

i on the other hand enjoyed the catheters i had while hospitalized on two separate occasions.  It was not painful to me, and i enjoyed the ability to continually empty my bladder without having to get out of bed during the night.  i even bought a complete catheter setup including the bag to collect the urine that i would be using at home.  I slowly lubed the catheter, and introduced it my my meatus (piss hole) and slid it down my urethra till it reached the prostate.  Y/you know Y/you are there because Y/you will have hit a bit of resist and it is felt at the actual prostate gland.  Y/you just push a bit more firmly and Y/you will feel the sensation as the catheter advances through the gland and into the bladder.  This is where Y/you can enjoy a couple of different kinky activities.

First there is access to an abundance of urine for watersports or piss play.  i on the other hand slid the catheter in and out of the bladder and going back through the prostate repeatedly.  Then, i began masturbating with the catheter in place.  i was in effect fucking myself on the inside of my cock.  What an orgasm.  Fantastic.  

The last time i was catheterized was by a Dom in a class in front of 8 other nude men.  The urine flowed into a bucket, but it took several minutes to completely empty the bladder.  What a sensual experience.  If Y/you think Y/you either want to catheterize someone or you want a Dom to insert it into you, then i strongly suggest going to a class or having someone knowledgeable to teach Y/you proper technique.  Bladder and kidney infections can result from poor technique and contaminating the catheter before or during insertion.  Finally, one catheter is used on only one person.  It should NEVER be removed from one person’s body and then inserted into another person.  Talk about risk of infection!


Some Doms/Masters/Sadists like to put their subs/slaves into chains as a way of controlling, punishing, or otherwise torturing them.  It is in my opinion an edgy kind of play that requires complete trust in the Top.  Also, i would only agree to this while NOT drunk, NOT on drugs,  and only if there is an emergency escape plan that can be enacted by the submissive. i don’t mean to be a fear monger but i consider all of the risks:  Is He someone you don’t know well or just met?  How is His health?  you don’t want to be chained and have the Dom pass out, have a seizure or heart attack and become incapacitated. Where are you being chained?  A dungeon, cellar or basement.  Is a phone or the key that unlocks the chains within reach?  Much like bondage, so far i have not played with someone i trust enough to be chained no matter how hot it may seem.

Chastity Devices

This brief introduction will on be presented from the vantage point of a submissive.  Personally i eroticized the cock cage and longed to have a Dom control my cock, preventing erections, masturbation, orgasm, and genital contact with any other Dom.  Optimally the Dom orders the cage be put on, He locks it, and He keeps the key.  Only He determines when it will be removed; only He decides when you will be allowed to masturbate or orgasm.  It is such an erotic act of submission that in the absence of a Dom i bought three devices so far.  One was to small and pinched when it was being put on.  One was rubber and had no lock.  i couldn’t get my cock in that on either.  Then, I bought a better quality device – metal with 3 different sized cock rings that could be used to determine the best fit.  It only stayed locked on for two days when it suddenly dropped to the floor having slid off my cock and balls.  Apparently i did not have the proper size cock ring that anchors the chastity cage in place.  i haven’t put it on again since i started my foreskin restoration process on 7 January 2017.  Wow, what progress i have made in two weeks.  While many subs get their own chastity devices, it would be much more meaningful to have your own Dom holding the key that controls your ability to be sexual.


This is very closely related to the asphyxiation topic previously presented.  With choking however, the Dom uses His hands or a device like a ligature to close off the breathing and to decrease blood flow from the heart to the brain.  This is supposed to greatly enhance the orgasm of the person being choked.  Thus, when a person does this to themselves it is called auto erotic asphyxiation.  Many people have died doing this because they don’t stop in time causing them to lose consciousness and choking to death.  Please be very careful if you decide to engage in this type of edge play.

Cock Rings

Cock rings are great.  First they help engorge the penis making Y/your package appear to be really big and firm.  They can make the cock harder, and intensify orgasms.  i like them so much i seem to have developed a collection of them, some being Leather, and others being metal, rubber, or even a leather cord or string.  All are good to try.  Sometimes i wear one just to run errands or if i will be lying down or wearing a swim suit.  i highly recommend giving them a try.

That’s about all i can cover tonight.  More next Monday!
Thanks for reading,
boy stray

Will, Won’t or Maybe Monday #2

This week i want to talk about three more activities that are included on most BDSM Checklists.

Anal plugs, or butt plugs, as they are more commonly known, are a tapered, round, cone-shaped, rubber-like device with a wide base. They come in many different lengths and diameters to accommodate and/or challenge the most anally adventurous among us.

Anal plugs are similar to dildos but are usually kept in place for an extended time by using the muscles of the anus and the pelvic floor. It can help strengthen the anal muscles, may stimulate the prostate, or may simply add a feeling of fullness and pressure heightening the sexual pleasure.

Always use an anal plug with a wide base. Trust me, you do not want the plug to slide completely inside the rectum, which would require an ER visit so a doctor can extract the butt plug safely.

If this kind of play is new to you, most likely you will need to start with a shorter and narrower version. You may want to put a condom on it to make clean up easier. You will use lots of lube and start by fingering or having your Partner finger your anus. Then, when you are sufficiently stimulated, SLOWLY begin introducing the smaller, rounded end of the plug slowly into the anus passing both the external & the internal sphincters. Insert it completely until the base of the butt plug is flat with one end touching the perineum and the other between the buttocks. Keep it in place as long as you can, or want to,…or for as long as your Dom tells you to. You can even masturbate or get a blow job with it in, and you can even fuck someone with your own butt plug in place. Talk about an intense orgasm!

i’ve heard and read stories of Dominants making Their sub insert a butt plug and then taking them out to dinner or other activities that make keeping the plug comfortably in place increasingly difficult.  Or even the sub being given a butt plug in a restaurant and told to go to the restroom and insert it before coming back to the table.

When you want to remove the device, or when allowed to by your Master, do so SLOWLY, and very GENTLY! You do not want to cause undesirable pain or injury to the anus. Do not overuse the butt plug which could cause an unwanted loosening of your asshole. Clean the plug thoroughly after each use with hot water and soap. Allow it to air dry, then store it in a clean dry place.  Remember you can put a condom on it before use.

When I first saw aromas listed I didn’t know if it meant “poppers” or “manscent”. So, I want to talk briefly about both. Poppers, in my humble opinion, make sex and orgasm GREAT! In the old days we called it amyl nitrate, which was a prescription cardiac drug causing a sudden rush of blood to the brain due to vasodilation or a relaxation of the blood vessels. The blood pressure goes down, the heart beats faster, the sensations heighten. All this together causes an intensification of positive emotions, that increases feelings of lust, decreases inhibitions and encourages an animalistic sexuality. Orgasms seem more intense and last longer, and some men say it makes their cock and balls feel massive.

Use them with caution. Since it lowers blood pressure you CAN NOT inhale poppers if you take erection pills, have heart disease or any kind of circulatory problems. I already told you my experience with being given a hit of poppers a while after taking a Viagra “party pill.” Believe me…be careful when using poppers.

Ok, who likes man smells? You’ll see in personal ads or profiles “no cologne or deodorant” because those smells mask or alter the natural musky manly scent of a man. “Man smell” to me is a bit of sweat, sexual pheromones, clean but musky underarm scent, the smell of Leather, and maybe a mix of beer breath and cigarette (cigar) breath as well. I really get turned on by these smells. But everyone’s different. Some gay men love cologne, scented soap and deodorant, and even scented body sprays. To each, his own! But, that ain’t me!

i will begin by saying this is extremely dangerous!! Also known as breath control, erotic asphyxiation is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for the purpose of sexual arousal. It can be done alone or with a partner present. It is done in various ways…a plastic bag over the head, strangulation by self or other, chest restriction, or even gas or other volatile solvents.

It is DANGEROUS even if it is practiced with care. This is ultimate EDGE Play. If you must try it, do so with other people present. Be sure rescue measures are in place beforehand, just in case. And make sure everyone present knows how to activate emergency services, AND knows the address where the play is taking place.
i was going to get all “high up on my horse” saying i’ve never done this. However, i wrote about my brief experience with the belt around my neck in a previous post. i admit i have done some really stupid things putting myself in potentially dangerous situations.

Don’t do what i have done without prior, informed CONSENT! Please educate yourselves, play only with experienced Dominants, and don’t take unnecessary risks. i understand the draw of edge play, but build trust in the Dom with whom you are playing, and evaluate His knowledge and skill level, before ever putting your life at risk.  Remember– Safe, Sane, Consensual!

Next week, ball stretching, bathroom use control, and beating [soft & hard].

Thanks for reading,

boy stray