Finally, A Dom of my own! Nope!

Last week i got an email saying i had received an email message on one of those hookup sites. When i checked the email it was a Dom wanting to meet…me! i checked his profile and saw he is 39, handsome according to the posted picture, and most intriguing – he wanted to meet…..me!

Of course i was skeptical. But i did respond. He said to call him Sir, which i do out of respect for all Doms and Masters. So i had no problem with that. We exchanged email addresses and wrote back and forth till He asked if i had Yahoo Messenger. i did. We’ve talked via email, text or yahoo Messenger several times daily for a week.

He requested i purchase a leather mouth cover/ball gag and provide proof that it was ordered to show i was serious in my search for a Dom. i got a 20% discount code from a separate email about BDSM toys from this same company. With shipping costs it was only $30. And it is quite nice.

For our first in person meeting He said to purchase a BDSM starter contract kit from another company. It would be $310 with 24 hour delivery. i said i didn’t have the money and was reluctant to spend it without having met. Sir said He would split the cost with me.

This morning i couldn’t sleep. i got up at 3 am. Just so happens at 2:53 am Sir sent an email to the man at the company saying He had sent $110.00 and His boy would send $200 later today – via Western Union to someone in Texas to finalize the purchase.

Now i don’t know about you dear readers, but have RED FLAGS gone off?

Who makes a purchase through Western Union? The communication from Him to the company and from the company to him are just gmail accounts that anyone could set up. The company website is a crude wordpress website with little information other than the starter kit…..the contract, a leather dog mask, a leather apron, and a leather thong. Strange collection of “starter” items. And why “starter”? Starter for what? BDSM? A new D/s relationship?

At twenty minutes to five in the morning i have convinced myself that once again i am being scammed. Why indeed would a handsome, 39 year old Dom be so quickly smitten with me, an older man. And, i have no actual proof he really lives in Fort Lauderdale.

We subs, who greatly out number Doms and Masters, must ALWAYS be vigilant in watching for online scams in our near desperate search for our Dom for life or just for play.

Needless to say, he is being blocked!

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Honesty & Lies

Living honestly, openly, and true to myself is not easy. Whilst i have had interest and dalliances into the Leather BDSM/Kink/Fetish world over my many years of adulthood, it has been a short stay each time, only to return reluctantly to my vanilla, mainstream lifestyle after each occurrence.

As you may remember from earlier posts i began coming out as a Leather boy 1 1/2 years ago by joining a club for Leather boys. I’ve attended events, demonstrations, meetings, camping events and recently a formal Leather Masked Ball.

Most of these activities have caused varying degrees of discord within the home & relationship. It started with resistance and snide comments about Leather, Leatherfolk, and kinky activities. It has evolved into a quiet tolerance with only the occasional rumpf response to my going out with Leather minded friends.

This brings me full circle to honesty. i have to admit i am not honest and i am in ways a coward. i want to wear my boots and jeans more. I want to go out more to the Leather bar, events and meetings. i want to live a Leather lifestyle however that manifests in my life. i want to be able to hookup/play or just cruise online without hiding and lying.

And i want to…need to admit to my husband that i am not happy and want to separate. But, through therapy and a sizeable amount of investigation i’ve learned he is a narcissist and i am codependent. As a “narc” he lacks empathy and has little to no clue how bad it is for me in the relationship or how much i want a new start. i deeply dread THE conversation, the anger and tears. So i procrastinate. Surpressing my feelings, wants and desires in deference to his – classic codependence.

i have looked at apartments and rooms for rent. i’ve looked into escape plans, a PO Box, a new separate checking account, i’ve developed a budget, and i’ve made a list of the few things i really want from the house when i leave.

Is this all a dream or fantasy i am building in my mind? Will i have the balls to leave?

Will i finally be honest with myself and my spouse, so we both can begin a new chapter in our lives?

i’ll let you know what happens!

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Me a Pig boy? Guess Not!

The Leather Masked Ball was a well attended soiree with hundreds of Leather Men/boys dressed in all manner of hot, masculine Leather. Shirtless and wearing a tight harness seemed to be the preferred attire for the night. Few attendees actually wore masks though.

The DJ was Chi Chi LaRue playing some classic dance music that never seemed to draw a crowd to the dance floor or whip the men into a dancing frenzy.

My husband went to the Ball with me and seemingly had a pretty good time despite his aversion to everything Leather and BDSM oriented. He was intrigued by the puppies, puppy masks and tails, and fascinated by the information that Leatherwerks occasionally has classes on puppy play. Could he be a would be pup handler?

It was the beginning of Pig Week also. So, i went to a pool party at Inn Leather for my first official pig week activity. i sat naked by the pool in the shade admiring all the other naked men wandering around the resort area and lounging by the pool.

At one point i took a walk around the grounds and heard some noise coming from an alcove behind the locker area. Of course i needed to investigate. my eyes widened as i watched about 10 guys going at it in one big jumble of man meat. Hands, mouths, dicks and asses all seemed to be connected from one body to the next.

i watched a few minutes. Didn’t get turned on or even hard. So i left the alcove, kinda bored, but also feeling sexually inadequate. i went back to my chair by the pool. A guy approached. Offered a BJ. i accepted, but wasn’t turned on or sufficiently hard so i excused myself, dressed and went home.

Another night i attended a rope bondage class taught by two hot Men. After the class the attendees were directed to another room where a “play party” was starting. The party was likely going to be non-kinky sex play only. Instead of the play party i walked about 6 blocks to the Ramrod Bar. Four beers later i took Uber to the Clubhouse II, a gay male bathhouse. Being pig week it was supposed to be packed. But it wasn’t. i left about 3 am without having sex and took Uber home.

What i seemed to have learned is that i am not a Pig, at least not in a group setting. i am not ready to be sexually active because of physical limitations. And i feel like i must be the only gay man who can go to a bathhouse and not have sex with anyone.

i did have a Dom lined up for a BDSM play scene during pig week. He was from out of town and texted me on arrival in Fort Lauderdale. It was only then that W/we discovered that neither one of us could host. Another lost opportunity.

Not a pig! But if i hadn’t tried i would never have found out. i am putting myself out there in the community more, and making more connections. And, that my friends is the name of the game.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Leather, Pigs, and Proud

It’s good to be a Leather boy this week in Fort Lauderdale. Tonight, November 25th, is the 12th annual Leather Masked Ball being held at Progress Bar. It is well attended by Leathermen and Leather boys of all types, and i am guessing lots of Leather women, straights and gays, and a smattering of vanilla folks gawking.

The Ball is produced by the Lambda Men’s Brotherhood, Inc. It will star DJ Chi Chi LaRue and feature an exhibition by the Leather Archives & Museum Chicago as well as BDSM demonstrations. There will also be a Best Masked contest with $175 Bar Tab prizes from Ramrod.

Every year for at least the last 8 to 10 years my husband and i toyed with the idea of going. That was even before he knew how much i wanted, yearned to be in the Leather community. This year he said let’s go. We bought our tickets and masks yesterday.

Before i post this Blog i’ll include a post script about how the Leather Masked Ball was, and how my vanilla partner reacts to various aspects of the night, especially the BDSM demonstrations.

The other event that makes this a great time to be a guy in Fort Lauderdale is that it is the beginning of our annual Pig Week. Many of you may be wondering what is a “pig” in the context of grown men. If you like drinking, dancing, and fucking then you are a PIG! And we in Fort Lauderdale want to meet you! This event is designed for all hot men in the world to cum together and play. There are pool parties, play parties, nude resort and beach days, and educational programs and demonstrations on fisting, watersports, sounding, and rope bondage. But, most of all it’s about welcoming men from all over the world to our city, showing it off, and showing them a really, really good time.

i have never participated in Pig Week before either. But, i told my husband i was going and bought my $100 dog tag before he could lodge a protest. The dog tag is my admission ticket to all events. Without it there is a $25 fee charged at the door of most of the events, and no admission to others.

Today i plan to attend a clothing optional pool/play party at a local leather themed resort where there is a sling in every room. Hopefully, it will be a great turnout since the weather is predicted to be beautiful, at a comfortable temperature, and with no rain in the forecast.

Sunday Morning Synopsis

Pool Party

Yesterday afternoon i took Uber to the Inn Leather resort for one of the pigweek events. It was a men only, clothing optional pool party. Most of the men walked around nude, seemingly proud of their bodies in all the glorious shapes, sizes and colors they come in. There didn’t appear to be any penis shame either. Penis varieties were from really small to “O my God, you’re going to put that where?” I think there must have been around 75 of us there.

Leather Masked Ball

It was hot, hot hot! Leather men came from everywhere including out of the closet for this annual event. Hundreds of masculine men turned out to see and be seen and to get their party on at Progress Bar. Some men wore masks, but most didn’t. The wafting of cigar smoke had us continually on the move for a better spot. An abundance of hairy and smooth asses were exposed for our pleasure; an occasional erect penis would pop out of a jock to the delight of everyone in the vicinity. The music, while good, was not up to the caliber expected from the guest DJ.

To my surprise my husband was fascinated by puppies and puppy play. He says he wants to take a class about it at Leatherwerks next time it’s offered.

i believe it was a great event and quite successful financially and in attendance.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Reflections on Erections & the P-Shot

i have not filtered my posts much in the year i’ve been blogging, so this one, while being difficult to write, will expose my deepest fear, sadness, shame, anxiety and embarrassment about my cock.

Y/you may be wondering why i would do it then. Fuck. i don’t know. I drew a blank at first. But really, i think it is a very common issue faced by many men over age 40 – ED – Erectile Dysfunction, the scurge of manhood and the most dreaded thing that could happen…but sharing my tale of woes may help other men. i hope so.

i’ve been dealing with this shit for years. It started subtly with occasional loss of erections during sexual encounters. Then, it became more noticeable so treatment was sought. That’s when the little blue pill, Viagra, was available.

Viagra worked great for years. Then, the effects waned a bit. Then, i tried Cialis, but it induced severe, long-lasting backache. The next pill, Levitra, didn’t really work for me. Years passed with varying degrees of firmness and sexual satisfaction/dissatisfaction and performance anxiety.

About 3 years ago i graduated to “the shot” – Trimix. It is a mixture of three medications that is injected into the side of the penis near the base. It worked! It gives me a big, full, swollen, and red hardon that starts within minutes of the injection, but only lasts 1 – 1 1/2 hours. So, i have to know without a doubt that i am going to have sex, and there can be no prolonged foreplay or the erection may be gone before my partner and i get off.

No, the shot doesn’t really hurt. It does take a bit of psyching myself up before sticking the needle in. Every time after ejaculation my dick hurts. The swelling remains for about 12 to 18 hours so my dick is big but soft.

For a year now i’ve been looking into the Priapus Shot (P Shot) for the treatment of ED. i’ve consulted with 3 physicians. The procedure is safe and fairly simple. They draw my blood. Spin it in a centrifuge to separate the solid components from the plasma. The plasma contains growth factors that when injected back into the penis causes a rejuvenation of tissues and hopefully a return of functioning. A vaccuum pump is provided and a regimen of daily pumping is required for maximum benefit. Also, some men may need an added jolt with the addition of a boner pill, which is supposed to work better after the P-Shot.

The downside, and it’s a big one – the going rate is $1900.00. Can you imagine forking over nearly 2k and injecting it into your dick? Each of the 3 doctors with whom i consulted were charging the full $1900.00.

Last month i saw an ad in a gay publication for an Anti Aging Aesthetic physician’s practice. They were offering the P Shot for $1500 during October. While finding that much money was not going to be easy it was an offer i couldn’t pass up.

Today i had the procedure done. i was there nearly two hours. The blood was spun down for 90 minutes. i was given 5 injections in my penis. One on each side at the base. One on each side mid shaft. And finally one in the center just behind the head. It didn’t hurt because i applied a numbing cream when i first arrived.

Tonight i have a plump dick. Somewhat impressive.

We’ll see how things progress. i’ll update Y/you periodically. Stay tuned

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Surge – follow up

i felt great for the Surge weekend. The drive went quickly even though the rain poured down most of the afternoon, and one of the smaller county roads called Snake Road seemed to follow the path of a slithering snake.

my cabin was fantastic, BUT the torrential rain left huge pools of water everywhere which made walking around to the pool and shower room a challenge. Soon after arriving i stepped off the porch to go pee and sunk ankle deep in water. My tennis shoes were ruined.

The Leather atmosphere was comfortable and i thoroughly enjoyed dressing in tight jeans and Leather both nights. The guys were friendly, the drinks cheap, the men hot, and the BDSM demos were titillating.

But, alas, i didn’t hookup or play with anyone. i was a fucking horny dog so i pulled out my array of toys, poppers, party pills, etc., and had a good time in that King sized bed by myself.

Will i go next time? Yay…maybe. i think if i could get some boys from my club to go it would be even more fun. It was an exceptional clothing optional, Leather/BDSM positive weekend at a gay campground in the wilds of South Florida.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Limited Activity Choices & the Deal Breaker

A couple months ago a Leather Sir contacted (cruised) me on recon.com. W/we messaged back and forth for a couple weeks and made a date to play after extensive dialogue about preferred activities, & soft and hard limits. He was completely honest that his primary interest was anal fisting. And i was totally forthcoming about my bout with anal cancer last year and my inability to submit to more than aggressive finger fucking due to scarring and easily torn tissues. Sir acknowledged my plight, and agreed again to meet, so O/our play date was reconfirmed.

The night before our play date, Sir texted my phone that He had sudden, unexpected, out of town company staying with Him, and would therefore need to cancel the date. He also said He was leaving the country for nearly a month, but that W/we would definitely set another date upon His return.

So, on the fifteenth of September, the day Sir was due back, i emailed Him, and W/we re-established O/our online conversation. W/we set another date to meet for play. But, His questions to me seemed to show a lack of memory of O/our previous conversations about O/our likes, preferences, and hard limits. i repeated my medical history and again disclosed my fears regarding fisting. However, despite that hard limit, Sir continued to say He wanted to meet. He even listed a number of other activities He enjoys that W/we could do. Another date was set for the near future.

A few days before O/our 2nd planned (and my much anticipated and needed) play date Sir contacted me saying His activity of preference is Anal Fisting. And since i was not able to do that one thing He canceled our date. i simply wrote back, “ok”.

Not getting fisted was a deal breaker! Or was it an excuse? Is His BDSM repertoire that limited?

Have any of Y/you, my readers, ever experienced this Y/yourselves? Is Y/your preferred activities list that short? If so, how do Y/you ever find another person to play with?

Oh, don’t get me wrong. There are definitely things i greatly enjoy, and others that can be done that i might just like a bit…that i can take or leave. But to require every SIR to do one particular thing to me, or it’s not happening, just seems arbitrarily self limiting, and is a way of keeping most Sir’s away.

Personally i keep trying to expand my “Will Do” list of activities in order to attract more attention, and to be more appealing to a greater number of gay, masculine, Dominent, Top men in my area.

Write in and tell me if Y/you have a required activity during BDSM Play, or the session gets canceled. What is that activity, and why so important to Y/your play?

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Surge – a Leather Weekend

It seems another three months have past since the last Leather Incursion camping weekend at Vitambi Springs in Clewiston, Florida. i first planned to attend a year ago in August. However, my stars haven’t align at any time since then. With each Leather camping weekend since then, i either get sick or have some other valid obstacle preventing me from attending.

Next weekend, October 20-22, 2017 is Surge, a Leather weekend experience. Members of a Leather organization, Minotaurs, will be demonstrating various BDSM activities.  And i suppose everyone else is free to do as they please.

As fate would have it, again i have an obstacle, but i hope to be able to smash this one in the next seven days.  On September 26th i had cervical spinal surgery to decompress the pinched nerves in my neck.  The post operative pain was excruciating.  Not the incision…it’s been perfect.  The pain was in my neck, back, shoulders and arms.  i always thought i had a fairly high tolerance to pain, but after this i am no longer sure. It took around the clock strong narcotics and muscle relaxtants to alleviate the pain.

So, short of my incision opening, a return of excruciating pain, or my spinal column freezing i will be there this time. Or in the words of my father, a retired army Sargent, “Come Hell or high water” I plan on going.

Details to follow after i return from Surge.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Racist? Or Just a Preference?

In a recent post i told Y/you i was staying in a gay motel/resort in Orlando over Labor Day weekend. So, i was sitting in my room (the night my phone was stolen) and two young, thin guys walked by my door which was cracked open several inches. They stopped, turned around and came back. One, a white guy, that W/we would call a twink opened the door a bit and asked if they could come in. The other twink, a young black guy, looked at me quizzically. i said “what for?” “To talk” came the response. The young black guy whispered to the white guy, “ask him if he likes black guys.” He then put his head in and asked the question of me directly. i answered yes. To which he said, “I don’t usually prefer white guys…but it’s just a preference.”

My retort was curt, “so you don’t think it’s racist for someone in an online ad to say ‘no Asians, no blacks, white only – not racist, just my preference’ isn’t being racist?” They were somewhat taken aback.

To illustrate what i consider preferences i will tell you about my ideal man. The man of my dreams: taller than me, dark hair, mustache & beard, very masculine in appearance and affect, confident, assertive, a Dom with sadistic tendencies, seven inch dick or more, uncut, big bull balls that hang low, hairy, very hairy, and a hairy ass, size 12 boots, nice blue eyes, great smile, good breath, non smoker, fantastic at deep kissing, wonderful lover, and has a great Dad body.

Racist would be to exclude blacks, asians, arabs, Jews, Latinos, etc. Ah, but Y/you may be thinking i am excluding them by my preferences. No, not at all. Y/you see my preferences are just that. They are not in my mind “requirements”. i could just as easily be attracted to a blond, blue eyed, cut, Jew. Or a Black man who is smooth. Or a hairy cut Arab with dark piercing eyes.

To negate a whole race or group of men based on something, some trait, characteristic, or religion they were born with or into is racist and xenophobic. To try to cover one’s prejudice by calling it just a preference is ignorant and wrong.

i love all kinds of men. i like to keep my options open. Who knows, my perfect, ideal Dom may only exist for me in my dreams, yet a perfect Dom who satisfies all my needs could be the total opposite of my ideal. If i limit myself, and exclude anyone who does not fit my perfect vision of my Dom, it could mean that i may never meet Him.

i often joke that my kind of man is one who is breathing! Everything else is negotiable.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

The Lost Art of Good (Gay) Sex

This past weekend i went to a well known gay resort in Orlando where gay men gather, sun bathe, party, cruise and have lots of sex.  i only cruised for sex!

Saturday night i met five…yes, five men.  And i would say none were particularly good at sex.

#1, a guy from Tennessee came as soon as we laid down naked on the bed with me giving him just a little manual stimulation.  That was a shame cuz i thought he was going to be fun.  He was embarrassed.  We talked a short time and he left.

#2, a Latino man of very few words only wanted his big uncut dick sucked.  He came, said thank you, and left.

#3, a Latino man who spoke little English immediately requested a condom, which i surprisingly did not have.  So he kept saying, “no, don’t touch.”  No oral.  No kissing.  He opted for frottage with me face down and him humping my back.  He came.  i asked him in Spanish if he had a wife and what was his name.  As he left he said my Spanish was good.

#4, a young white guy too drunk but bearish and cute, so i let him in.  i asked what he wanted as he came in, and he said, “you!”  He stumbled around taking his clothes off.  Then got on his knees, head down, butt up on the bed wanting me, i suppose, to fuck him. Well, being a bottom boy, not having a condom, and him really drunk i decided just to rim his ass.  Then he fell onto his side so i sucked his dick.  He suddenly jumped up, got dressed hurriedly and left my room without a word.

#5, was actually at 4:00 am Sunday morning.  A white guy, full beard, tatted up, and quite gregarious.  He came the closest to actually having sex/making love with me.  We kissed, caressed, i stroked his sexy, soft beard.  Sucked his dick.  Then, he wanted to fuck me.  i really wanted it too.  But, my history of radiation resulting in anal scar tissue prevented me from being penetrated.  It caused horrible pain just to have his dick head inside.  Every thrust to go deeper felt like a huge red hot fire poker being jammed in my ass.  So, he gave up and wanted me to grasp his cock tightly with both hands and rapidly and almost violently masturbate him.  That was the only way he could cum.  Then, he gave me a song and dance story: war veteran, horrible childhood, down on his luck, and the person who brought him there had deserted him.  He had no way home.  Could i possibly give him $$$ for Uber back to where he was staying.  Of course i gave him money.  Was it payment for sex?  Was it just a monetary transaction not having anything to do with the sex?  After he left i used a towel to remove the lube, and was surprised to see blood on it from him trying to fuck me.

Y/you might have noticed in my discussion of each scenario i never mentioned my dick being touched, or sucked.  Or that i ever came.  And the only reason i was going to get fucked is because that’s how he wanted to get off.  It had nothing to do with meeting my sexual needs.

What happened to fore play?  What happened to give and take?  What happened to taking care of your partner’s needs as well as Y/your own?

Being a sub i understand my role in a D/s scene, but these were vanilla sex encounters.  i suppose next time i will need to take care of my needs – take matters in my own hands as it were, while i am working to satisfy my partner(s).

Maybe someday i will find a regular FB who cares about my erection and orgasm as much as His own!  Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Hurricane Irma, FUCK YOU BITCH!

We in Florida can use Y/your prayers during this catastrophic storm.  Thank you,