Will, Won’t, or Maybe Mondays

Last week i introduced the idea of reviewing, and hopefully filling out a BDSM Checklist of activities with your Dom of those things you will do, you won’t do at all, and those activities that may be appealing but you’ve never tried before.  He needs to know up front your hard and soft limits.  Hard limit examples might be scat (poop), and should be children and animals; soft limits might be slapping my face hard, meaning light slaps are acceptable.  Everyone has their own preferences and limits.  It behooves all subs and their Doms to know each other’s limits and preferences prior to playing.  you don’t want to be in a scene and find out the Dom really gets off on flogging the shit out of his subs, and you can only tolerate light flogging.  Makes for a bad scene!

This week i wanted to touch on age play, anal sex, and animal play.  

Age Play

Age play usually involves one person in the relationship taking on the role of Daddy and the other as the son.  T/they call each other by those titles.  The interpersonal dynamic can encompass in and/or out of bedroom activities.   The boy may be younger than Daddy, but doesn’t have to be.  The boy is “taken care of” like a father would care for his young son physically, emotionally, and financially, and unlike a father/son relationship the Daddy probably has sex with the “son”.

This is an interesting dynamic that i have done a couple times.  my “Daddy” was only 2 years older than i, and it was purely sexual & a short term play session. It, at least for me, invoked feelings of incest and sexual abuse because of my history.  Most other boys hopefully have no issues similar to mine when they do Daddy/son play.

A more extreme age play involves men identifying with a much younger inner child, called a little. The little may feel they are 4 or 5 years old, or other every young age.  they may incorporate stuffed animals, children’s books and other items of childhood into their play/relationship.  Again the little is cared for and nurtured by the Daddy/Dom.  And there may be a sexual component to the Daddy/boy dynamic.

Another type of age play is infantilism whereby the sub likes or identifies with being a baby.  they may wears diapers, drink from baby bottles, and in other ways become a baby. The diapers may need to be changed and other issues of infant care may be incorporated into the play.

Anal Sex

The next item on the BDSM/Kink activity list is anal sex. This may be listed as kink mostly for our heterosexual friends. i’ve found in my many years in the gay community that anal sex is quite common place and enjoyed by most gay men.  W/we typically may gravitate to one role or the other, as a Top or bottom.  Lots of guys these days list on their profile: versatile or versatile bottom.  my experience has been that those guys probably bottom most if not all the time, and seldom, if ever Top.  

Bottom shaming…i came out at a time when openly identifying as a bottom was looked down upon.  bottoms were thought of as the “feminine” or woman-role in sex.  You never saw bottoms proudly proclaiming their preferred sexual position or role. Tops were thought of as powerful, virile, and probably well hung and vastly experienced in topping.  bottoms were called passive, the polar opposite of Tops who were called Active.  i most often heard anally receptive men being labeled as “just a big ole bottom”.  Or it might be said of them, “You could drive a semi through there” or “you’d need a safety harness to go in there”.  Bottoms were thought of as less  than, not equal to the Top, denigrated for liking to get fucked.

Even bottoms enabled this perception by claiming to be Tops or at least versatile, and then in bed switching to the bottom position. And repeating the negative statements about bottoms even when talking about themselves. Even i wore my key clip in the left back pocket claiming to be a Top.  i was afraid of the judgments and being pigeonholed as a promiscuous, loose assed bottom.   

i came around to being a proud bottom when i internalized the reality that without bottoms, there would be No Tops.  Also i refuted the notion of being a passive participant sexually.  i am a very “active” bottom, and i have been with tons (well, maybe not that many) of passive, dead fish Tops who just want to lay there and be done by the bottom guy.  

So i got off on a tangent.  Anal sex…fun, exciting and for me, a sort of requirement for me to feel like i have really had sex.  

Do:

Clean out thoroughly – no one wants a poop accident while fucking.  Use lots of silicone lube, start slowly, and if you have any pain at all…stop, reposition, add more lube and again start slowly. If no pain, you can really get a good, hard pounding without any damage to your asshole (sphincter).

Don’t:

Continue fucking if you have any pain or bleeding.  Don’t use the enema too close to the time you are going to fuck.  you may expel water or worse.  Makes for a big mess, and the probability of never playing with that Dom again.

Animal Play

Puppy play, pony play, and other types off animal play has grown immensely popular in recent years.  This form of play allows the submissive to assume the persona of the animal.  As in puppy play the boy would likely don a leather puppy mask with ears, leather paws covering the fingers and hands, and possibly an anally inserted tail. The pup would walk around on all four “legs” and emulate the activities and mannerisms of a puppy.  Ponies do likewise.  The pups and ponies will have a handler to guide and assist in getting the pup into proper mindset.  

Never done this, but a bit drawn to being a pup in play.  Explore your own inner animal. Play, get in that mindset.  Get a handler and above all release your inhibitions and have fun.  Maybe one day i’ll join you…

Next week – Anal plugs, Aromas, and Asphyxiation 

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Will, Won’t or Maybe Mondays

Today i am beginning a weekly Feature Post that will present a new BDSM/Kink activity that you may or may not have ever heard of.

These activities are taken from checklists you can find online through any search engine.  The checklists are intended to be used by Dominants and submissives PRIOR to playing to determine each other’s HARD limits, soft limits, and to identify those activities that each person gets into.  Below is an explanation of one i like.  A short list of other checklists are listed below for you to search on Google.

There are two answers for each activity that i will introduce weekly.  First you will evaluate your preferences; your desire to do or not to do each one.  There are six possibilities:

  1. No, I won’t do that for any reason
  2. I will, but only if ordered to do it
  3. Yes, Sir, I will since you asked
  4. Yes, I will, but slowly & gently
  5. Yes, I will occasionally
  6. Yes, I will anytime/all the time

The second half of each answer pertains to your experience level and has four choices:

  • Never tried this
  • Tried this once
  • Tried this more than once
  • Do this ALL the time

The first activity i am discussing is ABRASION

In abrasion play the Dominant uses something rough to “wake up” and sensitize the skin of the submissive.  It can be done anywhere on the skin, but preferences my be the buttocks, breasts/chest, abdomen or thighs.  The Dom can use wire or bristle brushes, a toothbrush, Emery board, wool or steel wool pads, or even sandpaper.

After the area is deep pink or red, and the skin very sensitive the Dom may want to intensify the feeling by dripping a little hot wax on the area, or simply dragging a rough fingernail through the braided area.  Either will have the sub squirming.

When doing abrasion play there is a risk of breaking the skin and causing bleeding.  This the becomes a portal of entry for infection, or as a source for spreading HIV, Hepatitis or other infections.  You (the Dominant) may want to wear gloves and have a first aid kit handy just in case.

Abrasion Play – been there, done that

Disclaimer:   A Toilet brush was great for abrasion and to a degree humiliation, BUT make sure you use a new brush or at least one cleaned/sanitized thoroughly with bleach to prevent infections.

Short List of BDSM Checklists 

CEPE Checklist (Archived)  www.cepemo.com/checklist.html

Scene Negotiation Checklist from SM 101 by Jay Wiseman   https://occs.cs.oberlin.edu/~dockhorn/jay.pdf

Latches   http://latches.webslaves.com/checklist.htm

Ambrosio’s Site         http://www.evilmonk.org/a/checklist.cfm

BDSM Education        http://www.bdsm-education.com/checklist.html

DomSubFriends:  seems to be a comprehensive informational site     http://domsubfriends.com/1home.shtml

The Iron Gate         http://www.the-iron-gate.com/essays/17

Seekers (.pdf)        http://www.seekers.org.uk/BDSM%20CHECKLIST.pdf

BDSM Learning Center     http://brian618.whyayh.com/mirror/bdsmlearningcenter/basics/beginners_kit.html

50 Shades of Curious       http://www.50shadesofcurious.com/negotiation/

Soul’s Haven                                                                           https://www.scribd.com/doc/72457921/Soul-s-Haven-Printable-BDSM-Checklist

Night Thunder International                                                                                     http://www.night-thunder.info/bdsm/bdsm-checklist.html

 

Next Week… AGE PLAY, ANAL FISTING, ANAL SEX, ANAL PLUGS