The Lost Art of Good (Gay) Sex

This past weekend i went to a well known gay resort in Orlando where gay men gather, sun bathe, party, cruise and have lots of sex.  i only cruised for sex!

Saturday night i met five…yes, five men.  And i would say none were particularly good at sex.

#1, a guy from Tennessee came as soon as we laid down naked on the bed with me giving him just a little manual stimulation.  That was a shame cuz i thought he was going to be fun.  He was embarrassed.  We talked a short time and he left.

#2, a Latino man of very few words only wanted his big uncut dick sucked.  He came, said thank you, and left.

#3, a Latino man who spoke little English immediately requested a condom, which i surprisingly did not have.  So he kept saying, “no, don’t touch.”  No oral.  No kissing.  He opted for frottage with me face down and him humping my back.  He came.  i asked him in Spanish if he had a wife and what was his name.  As he left he said my Spanish was good.

#4, a young white guy too drunk but bearish and cute, so i let him in.  i asked what he wanted as he came in, and he said, “you!”  He stumbled around taking his clothes off.  Then got on his knees, head down, butt up on the bed wanting me, i suppose, to fuck him. Well, being a bottom boy, not having a condom, and him really drunk i decided just to rim his ass.  Then he fell onto his side so i sucked his dick.  He suddenly jumped up, got dressed hurriedly and left my room without a word.

#5, was actually at 4:00 am Sunday morning.  A white guy, full beard, tatted up, and quite gregarious.  He came the closest to actually having sex/making love with me.  We kissed, caressed, i stroked his sexy, soft beard.  Sucked his dick.  Then, he wanted to fuck me.  i really wanted it too.  But, my history of radiation resulting in anal scar tissue prevented me from being penetrated.  It caused horrible pain just to have his dick head inside.  Every thrust to go deeper felt like a huge red hot fire poker being jammed in my ass.  So, he gave up and wanted me to grasp his cock tightly with both hands and rapidly and almost violently masturbate him.  That was the only way he could cum.  Then, he gave me a song and dance story: war veteran, horrible childhood, down on his luck, and the person who brought him there had deserted him.  He had no way home.  Could i possibly give him $$$ for Uber back to where he was staying.  Of course i gave him money.  Was it payment for sex?  Was it just a monetary transaction not having anything to do with the sex?  After he left i used a towel to remove the lube, and was surprised to see blood on it from him trying to fuck me.

Y/you might have noticed in my discussion of each scenario i never mentioned my dick being touched, or sucked.  Or that i ever came.  And the only reason i was going to get fucked is because that’s how he wanted to get off.  It had nothing to do with meeting my sexual needs.

What happened to fore play?  What happened to give and take?  What happened to taking care of your partner’s needs as well as Y/your own?

Being a sub i understand my role in a D/s scene, but these were vanilla sex encounters.  i suppose next time i will need to take care of my needs – take matters in my own hands as it were, while i am working to satisfy my partner(s).

Maybe someday i will find a regular FB who cares about my erection and orgasm as much as His own!  Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Hurricane Irma, FUCK YOU BITCH!

We in Florida can use Y/your prayers during this catastrophic storm.  Thank you,

Will, Won’t or Maybe Mondays 

Let’s forego the usual alphabetical progression through the checklist of potential activities BDSM players and Kinksters can choose to participate in.

So, since i get to choose i want to select anal fucking, cock sucking, golden showers, hot wax play, rimming, and saline infusion just off the top of my head.

I chose these quickly from my list of “likes very much”.

Anal Fucking. – When i first came out even experimenting with gay sex i knew nothing about anal pleasure.  i thought the only things gay men did together were frottage and cock sucking. Frottage came easy, but i really worked long and hard over hundreds of hours perfecting the art of the blow job.  Then, once i came across an uncut cock that…wasn’t as clean as i personally preferred.  Many gay men would have ended it there.  But, he was hot and i was horny.  So, i began the journey of learning the pleasures of anal and prostate stimulation.  Before i learned the pleasures of anal sex, i kind of grimaced, tried to relax, and let him ram it in, and pump away till he came.  After i learned much more about the ass I began to properly prepare of the night by thoroughly cleaning out, learning to really relax, and finding new ways to guide Mr. Anaconda in with the least amount of discomfort.  Butt fucking became my go to activity.  If a cock was too big to suck, it went up my butt.  Then, one day i realized for me to really feel sexually satisfied, i had to get fucked.  Don’t get me wrong, i still love sucking all the dicks i can, but for a real sexual connection i had to allow him inside me and encourage him to fill me with His cum…his essence, the seed of life and hope and all being.   Heady stuff i know.  i put great significance on the male ejaculate.  To me it is His power, His maleness and masculinity.  

With that being said, did Y/you ever see the movie Victor/Victoria.  One line delivered by the older gay man was, “there’s nothing more inconvenient than an old queen with a head cold.”  Of course he was referring to not being able to give blow jobs.  Well, tweaking the line some these days i would have to say, “there is nothing more unsatisfying than a sub bottom boy who can no longer get fucked because of anal cancer radiation treatment side effects.”  Not quite as good a quip as the one from the movie, but nevertheless just as poignant for me.  Now, after 28 radiation treatments, anal fucking is difficult, and painful at best, and impossible to accomplish at the worst.  But i love getting fucked.  So i keep trying to get back to that previous level of satisfaction with anal sex. 

GET YOUR FUCKING ANNUAL CERVICAL AND/ OR ANAL PAP TEST DONE IMMEDIATELY.  PLEASE DON’T procrastinate!!  It just might save Y/your life and keep Y/you from losing Y/your asshole!

Cock Sucking  – i have been sucking cock since the first man after the very first man i got naked with and had sex.  Well, that first time i was scared to death so i was a “do me” kinda guy that afternoon.  Kind of a funny story, i was a twenty year old virgin, and i saw this phone number on the bathroom wall in one of my all time favorite places…the Public Library.  My fingers trembled as i dialed, then asked for Norman.  He was friendly, lived a few blocks from my parents home where i was living, and he immediately iinvited me over to his house.  i could only fondle him, but he blew me three times in about thirty minutes.  But, that experience won me over.  i really liked getting those blow jobs, but i quickly found that i actually prefer giving them.

And, yes it is an art and a science.  Y/you have to know the anatomy and some basic physiological responses of the penis when it is stimulated by oral sex.  That’s the science.  The art is in perfecting Y/your ability to suck, lick, deep throat, and stimulate the cock to ejaculation.  Then, what to do when H/he cums?  Spit or swallow?  i think most men prefer it to be swallowed.  Spitting it out seems rather rude, maybe judgmental, or even a rejection of H/him in some way.  

Advice: learn to suck without scraping your teeth on the shaft; learn to control Y/your gag reflex because most men want more than a spit shine to the knob…deep threat that dick!; learn to take Y/your time – don’t rush through it so you get it over with.  If you are a half ass cock sucker he’s going to know it, and probably move along; learn to gracefully spit, or swallow with exuberance.  Sometimes if for some reason I don’t swallow, I subtly get the semen in my hand and use it for lube to jerk off.  For some reason i find that a real turn on.

All men love a good blow job!

Golden Showers. – piss play.  There is something about piss play that intrigues me.  i love the warmth as i piss onto my legs and feet or even up on my torso.  I’ve been given small amounts in cups to drink by two different Doms.  i found it to be too pungent and too warm for my taste.  Had one guy piss up my ass after fucking me.  Didn’t know He had done it till He told me.  That was an awkward walk to the bathroom to expel the urine without leaking or losing it half way to the toilet.  Me, i prefer plain ole “on me” kind of piss play.  


Hot wax  – don’t use the candles off your dining room table.  Those candles burn too hot, at a higher temperature, which can be dangerous and cause severe burns if not used very carefully.  There are candles made especially for hot wax play.  One of the tricks I learned in a class was to hold the candle at the right height above the sub so the wax cools a bit as it falls but retains enough heat for a good sting of heat as it hits the skin.  Best to shave the area first if the area being played with is the genital/pubic area, or any other hairy areas like the chest and back.  This can be a very sensual and erotic experience having the wax dripped on your skin, but also the Dom’s attention and efforts to remove the dried wax can be quite stimulating as well.


Rimming  – growing up especially after being potty trained we are taught the the butt is dirty and should not be touched at any time except for cleaning.  However there are quite a few nerve ending in the peri anal area that when stimulated evoke a sexual response.  Now why would it feel so good to touch, stroke, finger, and lick that area if it was to be regarded as unclean and untouchable.  Granted the vast majority of people who love rimming want the ass to be clean and fresh inside and out.  i have often wondered why this is one sexual activity i love doing.  But, I can rim a hot man butt for a long time before my tongue gets fatigued and my jaw gets sore.  Funny thing is while i absolutely love rimming, i am not so fond of it being done to me.  If Y/you’ve never experienced this sensation, i urge you to lie back, relax, and let a master rimmer like me take Y/you to new heights of ecstasy Y/you didn’t know Y/you could reach.


Saline infusion. – this is something i have not experienced yet.  i am intrigued and really turned on by the thought of a hot Dom inserting a needle into my scrotum, attaching a bag of sterile fluids, and running about a liter of salt water into my nut sack.  This significantly expands the scrotum making it very noticeable even under clothes.  The class offered here is always done on Friday night which allows for fluid absorption over the weekend making Y/your scrotum less obvious when Y/you return to work Monday morning.  

Building quite a repertoire of sexual acts, aren’t W/we?
Thanks for reading,
boy stray

Erotic Energy

This weekend i had a fantastical, spiritual, and energizing erotic experience.  

There is an organization that conducts workshops of all kinds that bring together men to connect, bond, nurture and support each other through getting in touch their erotic energy by experiencing the sacred touch of other men…not in an effort to be sexual and reach ejaculation, but rather to reach new heights with erotic touch without ejaculating.

After bonding on the first day, clothes were shed in groups of four in a slow nurturing ritual.  Each man was blindfolded when it was his turn to have the others remove his clothes.  It was done slowly with supportive intention where each man was accepted into a brotherhood where all are equal and not judged by age, race, body type, or by the size of their cock.  

Rhythmic breathing, dance, playfulness, and sharing our souls prepares us for the next step of our journey together.

We learned different ways of approaching and stimulating a cock. Our own and another man’s.  Each of us was the recipient of the sacred touch through massaging the entire body with intense concentration on the cock.  Then, i was honored to be invited into the sacred journey of other men by giving erotic touch to them.  It seemed spiritual, and a form of worshipping the male body, especially the phallus.  

There were cut dicks, uncut dicks, smaller & larger sized cocks.  Some got hard…really, really hard!  And others did not.  There were moans and groans of ecstasy; there was laughter; joyful noises, and yes, some tears and sobs due to the extremely emotional reconnection each man had with his erotic being.  

We learned new ways of self pleasuring, getting away from the rapid fist pump up and down to reach orgasm and cum as quickly as possible.  This was a Zen approach to masturbation.  Enjoying the ride without rushing to the destination.  

It was a powerful, transformative, sacred experience.

At the closing ceremony we were told of other workshop offerings.  i was extremely intrigued by one workshop in particular.  It is similar to this one, but incorporates BDSM dynamics including spanking, flogging and other impact play with massage worked into the weekend experience.  It is scheduled in another city at the end of April.  But, i already requested more information and raised the topic with my husband of me going to a “retreat” that is a continuation of this “mind, body, health and spiritual” weekend i just had.

i never offered that we were all naked nearly the entire weekend, or that we received AND gave sacred erotic touch.  It was my experience to have and to keep in my heart sharing it only with those i choose…and that is Y/you my wonderful readers!
Thank Y/you for going on this sacred journey with me.  And,
Thank Y/you for reading,

boy stray

Will, Won’t or Maybe Mondays 

As we continue down the checklist i am including most of the activities possible between consenting adults.  Today we’ll look at four that i have knowledge, experience, and a fondness for, and one that is not my kink at all.

Cock Worship

What can i say about cock worship?  i have done it since the first one i tasted when i was twenty years old.  Cock worship is more than simply cock sucking.  To worship cock you must afford it reverence, respect, adulation.  you approach a cock the way you would a religious shrine.  Some apprehension and reflection on the beauty and power that manifests in that Dom’s cock.  your ultimate goal and desire is to service that cock in the manner such a powerful piece of flesh demands.  you take your time with it.  And when He shoots His load, the essence of life and humanity, you do not spit it out.  you gratefully accept it into your body with deep appreciation.

That is Cock Worship!

Collars

A collar is a device of any material that is worn around the neck of the submissive during play.  However, more importantly, the collar is a symbol worn by a submissive denoting that they are in a D/s relationship and/or are owned.  Some Masters and Doms will conduct a formal collaring ceremony either privately or sharing the occasion with friends and community.  Also, there are collars of consideration and training collars.  Collars are not a piece of jewelry to be touched and fondled by other people.  Remember respect in the BDSM Kink community is very important.  Always ask if you can look closer or touch it.  Be prepared to hear a NO.  If you see someone who is collared it is appropriate to speak to the Dom first and ask if it is okay to speak with or hug the submissive person.  Again, respect.  You are acknowledging the Dom’s position in community and in that relationship.  Usually the collar is locked onto the sub’s neck, and the Dom holds the key.  If the D/s relationship ends, the collar is removed by the Dom.  Recently i attended a memorial service where I learned when a submissive dies it is important to treat the collar with reverence and that it can be placed in an honored position in the home of the Dom or the caregiver if that person is a member of the Leather community.  A collar has great significance and deserves your respect.

Cuffs

Cuffs are exciting, exhilarating pieces of BDSM equipment.  As i have related in previous posts i submitted to being cuffed as recently as yesterday for an erotic photo shoot.  It is ultimate submission in my mind because you are giving complete power over to the Dom through an overt action that signifies ultimate trust in that Dom.

Once you are cuffed He has total control of you and can do anything He wants to you.  Trust must be established prior to this kind of submission.  i completely trusted my photographer.

Being cuffed yesterday put me immediately into a sub headspace.  My other senses heightened.  i knew what i hoped He would do as He held total power and control over me.  But, that’ll wait for another time and person.

Diapers

Some Doms and subs get into diaper play and infantilism.  The sub regresses to that stage in life when a baby is completely reliant on it’s parent or caregiver to meet its every need.  And one of those needs is to have their diaper put on, and to be changed when it is wet or soiled.  Players in this kink can be into urine play only or it could involve both piss and shit.

The only thing i can say in addition is, your kink may not be my kink, but your kink is OK!

Dildos

My best friends!  They are always stiff, just the right length and girth, and perpetually ready for action whenever the urge hits you.  No dinner, drinks or small talk with someone on a date that you hope will fuck you at the end of the evening.  No wondering if He is hung large enough; no wondering if he can get it up and keep it up; no wondering or dreading that He may be a two minute man.

Wake up horny?  Reach for the drawer in your nightstand.  Rough day at work?  Or your trick was a lousy lay?  The dildo is ever ready for hot action.  you don’t have to worry that it’ll cum to soon.  Whether you go deep, hard and fast, or slow and easy, the dildo meets your every need when you want to be penetrated.  I have two pink rubber ones, two inflatable ones of different sizes, and a curvy prostate massager.  All of these are different sizes, shapes and contours.

Stock up.  They can be your best friends too.


More next week.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

All in 4 Foreskin

Why do so many men, gay and straight, have such a love for or fetish for foreskin?

Got me!  But count me in.

Having been circumcised as a poor, defenseless baby i lived my life happily as a cut child and adolescent.  However, in Junior High School gym class i saw my first uncut dick…or maybe it was standing next to an older boy at one of those old floor to chest tall urinals.  I was taking a peek to see what he had…as boys, and most men, will do.  He was uncut.  And larger than my little ole peter as a 13 year old boy.  i was amazed.  Fascinated by his cock.  It was so different, and bigger.  It was my little spark of awareness that not every boy was just like me.

My first lover was uncut.  Loved playing with it, stroking it, sucking and licking under the foreskin.  Then, he went and had it cut off.  As an adult mind you.  No erections allowed for weeks.  Tell that to a twenty something year old man!  Anyway that relationship ended poorly, but my fetish for foreskin continued to gain in momentum.

i love the way they look and feel, and how they taste and smell (clean of course).  i wanted one of my own to play with and enjoy.  A long time ago – was it twelve, or fifteen years ago in one of my searches for uncut dick pics i came upon a mention of foreskin restoration.  So, you know, i just had to go there.  It was possible to re-cover the glans (head) with skin that was stretched over a period of time from loose skin left behind when the mutilation, i mean, circumcision was performed.  

i did the manual tugging of the loose skin off and on for years.  I tried the taping method but it hurt like hell peeling the tape off my dick several times a day after each urination and then taping it up again.  Neither worked for me.  i just had to be content playing with ones that i happened to come across through the next bunch of years.

Then another search for something brought up a link that took me to, of all things, foreskin restoration again.  This time there were things you could buy and pictures of different cocks in all stages of restoration progress. i thought, “i gotsta have me one of those.”  The two devices i evaluated for purchase were TLC and DTR devices.  Both seem to be very good products, but i decided on the DTR Tugging device.

i ordered it, paid only $60, received it three days later and began using it immediately.  During my waking hours i am seldom not wearing it.  It is a cone shaped hard plastic primary piece with a soft clear rubber-like “gripper”.  Y/you place the hard cone piece on Y/your soft penis, roll or pull the loose skin around the head of the penis up onto the cone.  When the cone is covered with as much skin as possible the gripper is pulled down over the skin covered cone holding in place Y/your foreskin.  The last thing to do is attach the other end of the cone device to an elastic, like a suspender that has a clamp on it, to a long sock, knee brace or whatever, down one leg.  The tension is adjusted to your comfort level and to maximize the results Y/you will get.  It doesn’t or at least shouldn’t hurt.  If it does, lessen the tension on the strap and reevaluate the positioning of the foreskin under the gripper.  Every two hours or less remove it, let Y/your dick get some air, take a piss, and put it back on…if quicker results is Y/your goal.  It can be worn discreetly under clothes for just a couple hours a day or all day.  Just don’t sleep in it.  Since men get nocturnal erections (sleep hardons) damage can happen like skin tears and bruising.  Read all the dos and don’ts, be cautious, go slowly at first.

It’s a slooowwww process, but everyone i talked with online says it is well worth it and that the time will fly by.  

This Blog post should not be construed to be medical advice.  It is merely the thoughts and experiences of the writer.

Resources:
foreskinrestore.com      Lots of pics

tlctugger.com        Lots of educational videos

restoringforeskin.org           A site to join, share Y/your journey and Y/your cock pics showing progress.

Facebook group: foreskin restoration        many great guys offering support, information, and tips

Or just google the hell out of it and learn all Y/you can.

To follow my progress, my pics will be on restoringforeskin.org

Thanks for reading,

boy stray