Limited Activity Choices & the Deal Breaker

A couple months ago a Leather Sir contacted (cruised) me on recon.com. W/we messaged back and forth for a couple weeks and made a date to play after extensive dialogue about preferred activities, & soft and hard limits. He was completely honest that his primary interest was anal fisting. And i was totally forthcoming about my bout with anal cancer last year and my inability to submit to more than aggressive finger fucking due to scarring and easily torn tissues. Sir acknowledged my plight, and agreed again to meet, so O/our play date was reconfirmed.

The night before our play date, Sir texted my phone that He had sudden, unexpected, out of town company staying with Him, and would therefore need to cancel the date. He also said He was leaving the country for nearly a month, but that W/we would definitely set another date upon His return.

So, on the fifteenth of September, the day Sir was due back, i emailed Him, and W/we re-established O/our online conversation. W/we set another date to meet for play. But, His questions to me seemed to show a lack of memory of O/our previous conversations about O/our likes, preferences, and hard limits. i repeated my medical history and again disclosed my fears regarding fisting. However, despite that hard limit, Sir continued to say He wanted to meet. He even listed a number of other activities He enjoys that W/we could do. Another date was set for the near future.

A few days before O/our 2nd planned (and my much anticipated and needed) play date Sir contacted me saying His activity of preference is Anal Fisting. And since i was not able to do that one thing He canceled our date. i simply wrote back, “ok”.

Not getting fisted was a deal breaker! Or was it an excuse? Is His BDSM repertoire that limited?

Have any of Y/you, my readers, ever experienced this Y/yourselves? Is Y/your preferred activities list that short? If so, how do Y/you ever find another person to play with?

Oh, don’t get me wrong. There are definitely things i greatly enjoy, and others that can be done that i might just like a bit…that i can take or leave. But to require every SIR to do one particular thing to me, or it’s not happening, just seems arbitrarily self limiting, and is a way of keeping most Sir’s away.

Personally i keep trying to expand my “Will Do” list of activities in order to attract more attention, and to be more appealing to a greater number of gay, masculine, Dominent, Top men in my area.

Write in and tell me if Y/you have a required activity during BDSM Play, or the session gets canceled. What is that activity, and why so important to Y/your play?

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Will, Won’t or Maybe Monday 

Today i am only writing an addendum to last Monday’s post on anal fisting.  i left out critical information for those of you who are new to the idea of anal sex or anal fisting.  And that is the importance of properly cleaning out the lower colon and rectum inside the anus.

No one, well…most people would not want there to be any accidents or surprises with fecal material appearing in the middle of Y/your play session.

The best thing i did was to read and watch videos about preparing for anal sex.  But, just to introduce the topic a bit, basically what i do is moderate my diet/food intake about 6 to 12 hours before the expected play time.  i don’t over eat and don’t eat bulky foods or foods that produce a lot of intestinal gas.

i use an enema bag with warm water… not hot!  Lubricate the nozzle and insert the nozzle a few inches into the rectum and slowly let the water run by gravity into the lower colon and rectal area. i hold the water as long as i can then expel it into the toliet. i repeat a couple times with small amounts of water until the water is clear of fecal matter when expelled.  i do this about 3 hours before the date.  Then, i repeat the process about an hour later with a small amount of water to clean out any stool that was brought down by the movement of the intestines and the initial enemas done previously.  i only do it once this time with a small amount of water. Doing this enough time before the date will allow any excess water to absorb into the body so water is not expelled during the play.

Some people use a saline enema that can be purchased in a pharmacy or most grocery stores.  The benefit is that it is small, predetermined amount of water and it contains a solution that assists with cleaning out the rectum.  i use these sometimes but i feel like i am not “clean” enough for anal sex after a saline enema.  But that’s just me.

Now, this is something else i do but i am not recomending it or telling you to follow what i do.

I take a couple anti diarrhea pills before the “date.”  This seems to help slow down the peristolsis, or rhythmical movement of the intestine, that pushes the stool toward the rectum.  i might be a bit constipated the next day, but at least i didn’t poop on my Dom!

And of course shower and thoroughly clean the area with lots of soapy water.

This is probably more information than you ever wanted to know, but it is imperative for any submissive or bottom boy to learn to completely empty the rectum before playing.

If Y/you have any questions please feel free to ask.
Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Will, Won’t or Maybe Monday

This week i will be reaching a bit to do each of these activities justice.  Personally i have very limited experience with these. So, let’s begin…

Electricity 

i have experienced electricity play once.  The Dom i was playing with wanted me to experience several different types of play all in one session.  He inserted an electrified dildo up my butt, and increased the intensity slowly.  It felt alternatingly stimulating and then painful, and back again.  Not sure why put it kept popping out, so He would reinsert it.  He did that several times.  i was cuffed and blindfolded so the only thing i sensed was hearing and feeling.  There was nothing to smell or taste.  Then, all of a sudden there was a power surge and my asshole felt like a thousand knives were being shoved in and out pulsating rapidly.  It hurt so intensely that a safe word didn’t enter my mind.  i instantly jumped up as far as i could, pulled against the ankle and wrist cuffs, and yelled, “stop, stop, that hurts!”  By then He had turned it off.  i was afraid to try it again until i attended a class on electro play.  Now i am willing to try it, but will really need to trust that the Dom is extremely knowledgeable and experienced in opening the electrical system.

Examination (Physical/Medical Play)

Once i had an allergy doctor who i sensed was gay although he was married.  He was at least twenty five years older than me, and I was in my mid twenties at the time.  He asked about medical history and any health issues i might have.  i mentioned swollen lymph nodes in my groin.  He asked if he could examine me.  Of course i said yes; he was a sexy older man, and a doctor!  i lowered my pants and instantly got an erection.  With that response he lingered a bit longer than he probably should have, asking me questions, my pants around my ankles and a boner pointing right at him.  We made a connection and i returned several times to be examined and to even “examine” his big fat uncut dick.  

Doctor Play had always been a fantasy of mine, so every time i have a good looking doctor i try to get them to have me drop my pants.  Very hot fantasy…come true.


Exercise – Forced

This activity on the checklist is one i would not submit to.  Some Doms force their subs to workout very hard pushing beyond their limits.  This can be done as a form of punishment or when a Dom wants His sub to lose weight, bulk up, or just to exert control over His sub.  I don’t dislike working out, but know my limit…my point of muscle fatigue and can’t push beyond that point.  

Exhibitionism – Friends/Strangers

Exhibitionism involves risky behaviors that can be illegal if one exposes himself to strangers or has sex where strangers can see what is happening.  Exposing oneself to friends is not likely to lead to arrest. It most likely will be surprising, maybe titillating, or even a funny, laughable event.  

Exhibitionism of course does not have to include genital exposure or sex.  It could be anything that might be shocking, or provocative, or even gross and disgusting, or embarrassing.  

Personally i don’t mind my friends and associates/acquaintances to see my exhibitionism if they are open to it.  But that’s as far as i will go.  

Eye Contact Restriction

This activity is one i do a great deal when meeting or interacting with a Dom i do not know, or know well.  Some Doms will tell you to look at them, and others may tell you NOT to look them in the eyes.  With Doms i feel it is a sign of respect as a submissive.  However in my non Leather life i maintain eye contact very easily with everyone i speak with.  While this is my personal opinion and how i approach Doms, i have never had anyone in the lifestyle tell me what is expected or what is protocol in these situations.

Face Slapping

This is another form of impact play.  It can be done hard, or more softly, to get a subs attention or to correct behavior or for discipline.  i don’t mind being slapped just so it is not hard enough to loosen or knock out a tooth.  Previously i mentioned being hit in the face by a trick i played with repeatedly.  He didn’t slap…he used his fist.  Didn’t really like that much.

Farting 

Ok, i even hate the word fart.  To me it is crude and describes something i would just as soon not hear or smell coming out of me or anyone else.  But, it is a kink that some people have.  i suppose it is akin to the kink of scat play.  It’s not my kink, but if it is yours that’s great.

Fisting – Anal

i love anal play and nearly everything having to do with the ass.  i love getting fucked, fingered, and inserting various sizes of dildos.  i love rimming a hot man’s ass.  The one thing i have not accomplished anally is being fisted.  There has been three attempts.  None got much beyond several fingers.  i have read and been told it is the ultimate anal sensation.  Once you get fisted nothing else compares.  It has to be undertaken slowly and carefully, and preferably not while on drugs or being drunk.  Pain during fisting is likely at first but is an indicator that something needs to be adjusted.  More lube, slower, take a break, whatever.  Drugs and alcohol dampen sensations and you may not get a pain signal saying back off a bit for a while.  Real damage and injury can occur when fisting is undertaken with an inexperienced Top, or done too quickly, at the wrong angle, and without enough lube.  
Just want to say these are my opinions alone, and aren’t meant to pass judgment on any activity or on those who like activities that personally don’t with me.  
Have fun, be safe!