Dungeon Party or Sex Party

Y/you may remember that i mentioned i was going to my first Dungeon Party.  Well it happened last night.  

i was excited but trying to not have too many unreasonable expectations.  i tried to be ok with playing or not playing…whatever happened would be okay.  i got dressed in my usual leather…boots, belt, vest, wrist band, 501 Levi jeans, and my hunter green bandana – right, back jeans pocket.   The look is complete!  Fresh haircut so i looked good and ready for my debut into the world of Dungeon Parties.

Since my club was co-sponsoring i got there early to help set up the bar and patio area.  An assortment of men started arriving 30-40 minutes before opening time.  But, where were the handsome, masculine Doms?  But, it did look like it would be a good turnout. 

i was excited to watch the Men arrive in all manner of dress and undress.  Since most of them were only wearing jocks, harnesses and boots it was hard to tell the Doms from the subs…or as i found out later, it was hard to tell the tops from the bottoms.  No flags because no back pockets.   Wrist and arm bands seemed only for decoration. Who were the Doms?  Where were the Doms?

i stayed on the patio area for a couple hours before i built up my confidence and courage to make a foray into the “dungeon”.  All i saw was plain ole sex.  Sucking, fucking, rimming. Where was the BDSM? Was a Dungeon party simply a sex party? Of course i watched a while taking in all the images.  But it didn’t really turn me on.  i was mostly frustrated.

Surprisingly most of the Men there were my age plus or minus 10 years.  The exception was a handsome, young sub that took his clothes off and got up in a sling.  Quickly he was surrounded by a sea of horny guys wanting to have their turn with him. There were erections that never went down — umm, chemically induced?  Nothing wrong with that, but a constant erection for hours is interesting to see and watch. Envious?  Maybe i was?  Yup, i was!

When i came out from my excursion there was a boy bound to the cross. The Dom was using a cigar to stimulate the sub’s nipples, his chest and abdomen. Then he began tapping the boy’s balls with a paddle alternating the intensity with each tap.  After a while the boy was turned around, re-bound to the cross and the flogging and spanking began. Very exciting to watch but felt a bit envious of the boy. Shoulda been me!

Later i learned that was one of two Demos.  The second demo was a really intense flogging and paddling scene. The sub stripped down to his jock and boots and was flogged and paddled for what seemed like a very long time.  In fact i got tired and decided to go home.  It was only 11:15 pm.  As i walked toward my car i could still hear that sub’s moans of pain & pleasure.

The next day i asked if all the Dungeon Parties at this venue were like this one.  The answer was yes, “they are mostly about the sex.”  “There are a lot of guys who come just for the sex.  That’s they’re thing.  They’re not into the BDSM at all.”

Sad.  Disappointed.  Where were the “real” Leather BDSM lifestyle Men/boys?

The search continues…

Will, Won’t or Maybe Mondays

Today i am beginning a weekly Feature Post that will present a new BDSM/Kink activity that you may or may not have ever heard of.

These activities are taken from checklists you can find online through any search engine.  The checklists are intended to be used by Dominants and submissives PRIOR to playing to determine each other’s HARD limits, soft limits, and to identify those activities that each person gets into.  Below is an explanation of one i like.  A short list of other checklists are listed below for you to search on Google.

There are two answers for each activity that i will introduce weekly.  First you will evaluate your preferences; your desire to do or not to do each one.  There are six possibilities:

  1. No, I won’t do that for any reason
  2. I will, but only if ordered to do it
  3. Yes, Sir, I will since you asked
  4. Yes, I will, but slowly & gently
  5. Yes, I will occasionally
  6. Yes, I will anytime/all the time

The second half of each answer pertains to your experience level and has four choices:

  • Never tried this
  • Tried this once
  • Tried this more than once
  • Do this ALL the time

The first activity i am discussing is ABRASION

In abrasion play the Dominant uses something rough to “wake up” and sensitize the skin of the submissive.  It can be done anywhere on the skin, but preferences my be the buttocks, breasts/chest, abdomen or thighs.  The Dom can use wire or bristle brushes, a toothbrush, Emery board, wool or steel wool pads, or even sandpaper.

After the area is deep pink or red, and the skin very sensitive the Dom may want to intensify the feeling by dripping a little hot wax on the area, or simply dragging a rough fingernail through the braided area.  Either will have the sub squirming.

When doing abrasion play there is a risk of breaking the skin and causing bleeding.  This the becomes a portal of entry for infection, or as a source for spreading HIV, Hepatitis or other infections.  You (the Dominant) may want to wear gloves and have a first aid kit handy just in case.

Abrasion Play – been there, done that

Disclaimer:   A Toilet brush was great for abrasion and to a degree humiliation, BUT make sure you use a new brush or at least one cleaned/sanitized thoroughly with bleach to prevent infections.

Short List of BDSM Checklists 

CEPE Checklist (Archived)  www.cepemo.com/checklist.html

Scene Negotiation Checklist from SM 101 by Jay Wiseman   https://occs.cs.oberlin.edu/~dockhorn/jay.pdf

Latches   http://latches.webslaves.com/checklist.htm

Ambrosio’s Site         http://www.evilmonk.org/a/checklist.cfm

BDSM Education        http://www.bdsm-education.com/checklist.html

DomSubFriends:  seems to be a comprehensive informational site     http://domsubfriends.com/1home.shtml

The Iron Gate         http://www.the-iron-gate.com/essays/17

Seekers (.pdf)        http://www.seekers.org.uk/BDSM%20CHECKLIST.pdf

BDSM Learning Center     http://brian618.whyayh.com/mirror/bdsmlearningcenter/basics/beginners_kit.html

50 Shades of Curious       http://www.50shadesofcurious.com/negotiation/

Soul’s Haven                                                                           https://www.scribd.com/doc/72457921/Soul-s-Haven-Printable-BDSM-Checklist

Night Thunder International                                                                                     http://www.night-thunder.info/bdsm/bdsm-checklist.html

 

Next Week… AGE PLAY, ANAL FISTING, ANAL SEX, ANAL PLUGS