Surge – a Leather Weekend

It seems another three months have past since the last Leather Incursion camping weekend at Vitambi Springs in Clewiston, Florida. i first planned to attend a year ago in August. However, my stars haven’t align at any time since then. With each Leather camping weekend since then, i either get sick or have some other valid obstacle preventing me from attending.

Next weekend, October 20-22, 2017 is Surge, a Leather weekend experience. Members of a Leather organization, Minotaurs, will be demonstrating various BDSM activities.  And i suppose everyone else is free to do as they please.

As fate would have it, again i have an obstacle, but i hope to be able to smash this one in the next seven days.  On September 26th i had cervical spinal surgery to decompress the pinched nerves in my neck.  The post operative pain was excruciating.  Not the incision…it’s been perfect.  The pain was in my neck, back, shoulders and arms.  i always thought i had a fairly high tolerance to pain, but after this i am no longer sure. It took around the clock strong narcotics and muscle relaxtants to alleviate the pain.

So, short of my incision opening, a return of excruciating pain, or my spinal column freezing i will be there this time. Or in the words of my father, a retired army Sargent, “Come Hell or high water” I plan on going.

Details to follow after i return from Surge.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Pup Play

This article was borrowed from a recent Tumblr posting.

Pup Play FAQ

The past several months I’ve had individuals contact me regarding what pup play is from my perspective, and to ask for more resources. Instead of typing it out every time and trying to find the resources I have, I’m just putting it on here so I can share it easily. If someone thinks something should be added/changed/fixed, let me know. I’d rather be corrected so the info on here is reliable and available.

So what is Pup play:

The short answer:
It’s exactly as it sounds. Someone wanting to play the role of (role play) a puppy: on all fours, wagging, barking, playing with toys, eating out of dog bowls, etc.

The longer answer:
Pup play is a form of pet play (animal role play), where an individual wants to take on the role of a puppy dog. This is done by role-playing a puppy, mimicking mannerisms: barking, wagging, begging, playing with toys, sniffing/licking things, eating out of bowls, etc.; for fun.

In the end it’s a fun release, getting into a shift in headspace, and only focusing about what is happening right now. Not what happened earlier, or what will come. Just being a pup in the here and now. That headspace is all about trying to think like a dog and rely more on instinct rather than the complexities of human thought and aspirations.

What pup play is not:

First and foremost, pup play is not about bestiality – no sexual activity involving real bio (biological) dogs. Pup play is also not about humiliation. Most pups do not get into pup for the humiliation factor. They get into pup because it’s fun and a great release. However, while someone may be a pup, they may also be part of, or like other kinks, fetishes, and communities as well. Finally, pup play is not just about sex. While pup play can be a sex positive experience, where the subject of sex is not looked down on. Sex is not the sole purpose of pet play or pup play. It just depends on the nature of the relationship with the pup and/or any other parties involved.


Below are a few terms that are used within the pup community. I’ve noticed that some people define these differently, this is just my own generic definitions:

Pup – A person acting the part of a puppy within pup-play.
Alpha – A pup who is a leader in a pack or over other pup(s). This is normally a leadership/guidance role.
Owner – Someone who owns a pup or a pack (multiple pups).
Handler – Someone who is handling a pup on a leash.
PAH – (Puppy and Handler) Is normally a regional/local group specifically for human puppies, handlers, and those interested in pup play.
Biopup/Biodog – Refers to an actual biological dog.
Headspace (pup-space or pupping out) – Is the carefree mental state that happens when in pup play. It’s focusing on living in the moment, and acting with your surroundings on instinct, like a dog would. Putting your own thoughts, fears, ambitions, etc. aside for a time.
Moshing – A puppy mosh, mosh pit, or just mosh, is normally when a group of pups get together and pup out. Most of the time it’s done in a specific area (roped off or matted) for the sole purpose of pupping out.
There are other terms out there and definitions. I suggest reading other resources to learn more about them and/or how others define those terms. There are other resources at the end of this.

Is any gear required to get started:

No, being a pup requires no gear. It’s a mental state and purely up to the individual on how they want to pup. I do recommend at least some basic safety gear for comfort. Mainly due to being on all fours on the floor, they can either be hard on your knuckles and knees, or can give you rug burn, depending on the surfaces you are crawling around on. Some basic knee pads and cheap MMA practice mitts make perfect gear to start out with. But, while I recommend some gear for comfort, I want to repeat this. Gear is never required to be a pup. Below are a few other things you can look at.
Collars – I’ve seen two forms of thought on it. Some say pups should wear a collar and their owner/alpha/handler will give them tags. Others say collars should be given by an owner/alpha/handler. Personally, if a collar will help you get into headspace, go for it! In the end if you get a cheap collar and your owner/alpha/handler wants to give you a more expensive collar and/or tags, you can always switch to using theirs. Again, no one is making the rules on this except you.
Toys – Toys can really make pupping out fun, even by yourself. Think of a real puppy and them playing with chew toys. They can entertain themselves for a long while. Just keep it simple and cheap, soft chew toys are all you need. Though I caution playing with hard chew toys (rawhide, hard plastic, etc.). Human teeth are not the same as bio dog teeth.
Hoods/Muzzles – Hoods and muzzles are good to help a pup get into headspace. They also afford a pup the security of anonymity, which can help a pup when in public places. It also helps a pup look more the part, which again, helps with getting into that puppy headspace; but, by no means required. If starting out, there are cheap options out there, you don’t have to drop $150-230+ on a hood if you are not sure pup-play is your thing.
Any other gear that is out there is there for aesthetic purposes. It can help pups get more into that pup headspace. But, again, it is not required. When starting out, I suggest going cheap. Don’t invest into something you are just going to try out if you are not sure this is something you are going stick with. You can get cheap mitts, kneepads, collar, toys, and a hood/mask for under to around $100. If it’s something after a time, you enjoy, you can always invest and upgrade to better gear.

How do I get started:

A lot of times, starting out, people over think it. Try dropping down on all fours and sniffing around, viewing your surrounds on all fours, and starting to think like a puppy. You might want to get on YouTube and watch some videos on how puppies/dogs act. Or, read the numerous dog training resources that are out there on the internet to get some background on training puppies/dogs to give you better insight on how puppies/dogs behave.
Choosing a puppy name and or breed:
Choosing a name is purely up to the individual and or owner/pup relationship. Names can always be changed to best suit a pup. So if you choose a name and get an owner who changes it to something more suiting, nothing is wrong with that. Again, pup is purely defined on your terms.
Breed is the same way; it’s purely up to the pups’ discretion as to what breed they choose if one at all. Let me be clear, you do not need to have a breed to be a pup. It’s just flavor, a bit of color to the experience. If you are looking into a breed, look at the traits certain breeds have, that align closely with how you feel. And, you don’t have to pick a breed due to your body type. I know a huge guy that looks like a linebacker 6’+ tall, that’s a Chihuahua. I know a very small guy who’s a St. Bernard. It’s just flavor to help you identify more as a pup.

Other Resources:

Take this and any other resource with a grain of salt. There is no right or wrong way to be a pup. There isn’t a rule book that states there is a specific way to do something, or set standards that has to be followed – other than common sense. These are just my answers. This and all other resources are just guides to help you. I can’t stress this enough, however you pup, so long as you are happy and comfortable, go for it.
And, I wholeheartedly suggest getting out and involved with a Puppy or PAH (puppy and handlers) group in your area. You can read all you like, but actually interacting with other pups in the community, you gain a wealth of knowledge by actually participating. You may also want to look at your local Leather/BDSM community, which is normally pretty accepting of puppy play and will have resources for you to help you out.
Below are other resources on puppy 101 – beginning stuff to read into. I highly recommend reading these resources and any others out there to get ideas to figure out how you want to pup.

Resources on pup play:

Other online guides, sites, and books:
Woof! – Perspectives into the Erotic Care & Training of the Human Dog
Puppy 101 by Papa Woof Roth – Pup
Puppy Moshing 101 by Papa Woof Roth – Pup
Puppy 101 NEPUPS
Azure-Chaos – Caring for your Human-Pup
International Puppy Contest
Puppy Bill of Rights
Wikipedia – Animal Roleplay

Online Forums on Pup-Play:

Puppy 101 Facebook page
Pup Zone – For guys into dog/pup roleplay
The Kennel – A Social Network for Human Pups and Their Masters


The Happy Pup – Gpup’s Puppy Play & Pup Play Gear Guide
Info on Pup play and Pup play Gear
Mr. S Leather
Look under the puppy section on the left menu.
GRR Bear-Masks
Great handmade masks without breaking your budget. The owner will work with you to create a mask custom for you.
Rubber Dawg – Custom rubber hoods
The Well Kept Pet – Custom Leather Pet Play Masks
Dog House Leathers
The link is to their “Puppy Stuff” page
Fetish Zone
Has a lot of kinky stuff on their site, including a pup play section, as well as a pony play section

Now go out and get your puppy on…

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Come Out, come out, Wherever Y/you Are!

Happy Gay Pride, Fort Lauderdale.

Today was Gay Pride here in the city by the sea.  And a beautiful day it was.  Sunny, warm, a nice breeze and just an estimated 40,000 people celebrating on the beach together.  Perfect day.  Tons of hot men…and women, if you swing that way.

But ya know what?  i was perhaps the only one wearing a leather oriented tee shirt.  Plus i wore a leather wrist band, right side, of course.

Where, oh where, have all the Leathermen gone?  You weren’t out in numbers.  You weren’t out as small cohesive clusters as United Leathermen.  Oh, i saw a few guys in harnesses.  Were they “into” leather, or was it simply a fashion accessory to go with their Speedo swimsuits and big bulges?

There were big, burley, hairy dudes, average hairless dudes, and many twinks twerking.  Lots of ink on hot bodies.  But, several bars actually ran out of liquor mid afternoon.  Now, that’s got to be a first.  How’s a gay person supposed to party with NO booze?  Well, there was that continual wafting of smoke from joints to keep the buzz going.

We danced and danced amid a huge crowd on the dance floor erected on the sand.  All manner of humanity, together, moving to the music.

One performer was Ty Herndon, a country star from years ago.  He had a public fall from grace, but picked himself up, pulled his jeans up, put on his “cowboy” boots and came out as a “proud, gay man!”  Handsome and masculine.  Great voice.  He was so close i could have licked the sand off his boots.  But, i maintained my composure (and avoided a stalking charge) by just lusting from afar, and taking a hell of a lot of photos.

But, back to my Leather comrades…where the hell were you?  Didn’t want to get sand in Y/your boots?

Ok, so maybe Y/you were there, but not in leather.  It was a hot day.  But why no tee shirts saying, “Top” “bottom” “Daddy” “boy” “Sir” “Bear” “cub” “Ramrod” (oh, that’s right, i wore that shirt), “Leatherwerks “?

i felt so Leather lonely today.  

But, there’s always Stonewall Pride held in June in the east coast gay Mecca of Wilton Manors.  There will be a parade with a marching contingent from the Gay Leather community.  An abundance of harnesses, arm bands, Leather vests and belts and boots. Waves of Leather Pride flags bellowing in the wind.  Lots of hot sweaty skin showing.  501 jeans, shorts and some kilts.  Makes me swoon just visualizing that scene…

The thousands of people lining Wilton Drive will scream and cheer in solidarity with the Leathermen and leatherboys as they march by.  Then, many spectators will whisper, “I don’t get that whole thing…”  But why is it imperative that they get it, or understand us?  They should just accept us for who W/we are and what W/we do, and love U/us for O/our uniqueness.  i don’t understand Transgender men and women, but i see their beauty, their uniqueness, and i identify with their struggle for acceptance for who they are.  i struggle for acceptance of my leather identity even within the walls of my own home.

Be Proud!  Be Out!  Be Seen in Y/your Leather.  Raise Awareness, and Celebrate!

See Y/you in June 2017 – Wilton Manors, Florida?  I’ll be there. Will Y/you?
Thank Y/you for reading,

boy stray

 Objectification of the Male Body

i suppose i could be called a man-izer, since i tend to objectify every, and i mean EVERY man i see whether it is in person, on television,  on the Internet,  or even over the phone.

Men are sexualized just for existing. i have been called a man whore, a slut, and other descriptive but derogatory terms.  i can find something attractive in nearly every man.  It could be their looks, their smile, their hair or beards.  It could be their height whether tall or short.  It could be their size or body shape.  They can be large or skinny, hairy or smooth. Or the size and shape of nipples seen on a bare chest or through a tight Tee shirt.  Are they pierced anywhere?  And no Race issues here. Then, there is the package that may show abundantly or that does not show at all.  The size of their feet, the size of their nose or hands.  They can be cut or uncut.  And there is the butt.  Beefy…firm…small & round.  Hairy or smooth.  Doesn’t matter to me.

Y/you may be thinking i have no standards.  Well, i actually do. Smile and personality go a long way with me.  Are they showing any interest in me at all?  Are they married, single, or looking for a LTR… which is a deal breaker.

With every man…i think about how big their cock is and about how hairy or smooth they are and how hairy their asses may be.  Even friends and family get this type of scrutiny.  So, am i strange, unusual,  a bit screwy, a sex addict or, do other gay men do this as well?

My ideal Dom would be 6 feet tall, 210 lbs, short brown/black hair, maybe olive colored skin, full beard and mustache, nice clean handsome smile, really hairy body, strong arms and chest, a bit of a belly, nice sized uncut dick..7 to 9 inches, hairy ass, and size 14 to 18 boots.  He must be a Leather man should be well educated in the fine arts of providing pain and pleasure.   He must want a service oriented older submissive boy to serve him.

Any glimpse of a man’s butt crack, treasure trail, pubs or nut sack make my head spin.  Can’t get it out of my conscious mind.

What do you think?  Sex addict, pervert, too much time on my hands, or just a normal, horny gay man?

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Someday He’ll Come Along, the Man i…?

Today i have an ear worm of that old song, “Someday he’ll come along, the man I love, and he’ll be big and strong, the man i love!  i hesitate to say the man i love part, because i already have love for and from my spouse of many years.  Other words I come up with to finish the stanza are: the Man i serve or the Man i submit to, or the Man who is my Dom!  Not quite the same flow of words, huh?

Why is this song, or more accurately this line from a song stuck in my head today?  Well, i get about forty to fifty emails daily that are from BDSM and/or Leather Men’s groups every day.  i see lots of images of hyper masculine Leather clad men embracing or Dominating a submissive boy in many of those emails.  Also, now that i have reached my late midlife reawakening i find myself about as horny as teenage boy who first finds out he can now ejaculate when he masturbates.  What an incredible feeling!

i use to imagine that a Knight in shining armor would ride in on his white horse and sweep me off my feet and take me to a gleaming castle on a hill to live happily ever after.  So much for fairy tales!  That image has morphed into a tall hairy Dom wearing full black dress leather roaring in on His Harley, smoking a cigar, carrying a flogger on his belt, and sweeping me away to His dungeon to live my life joyfully as His submissive taking care of His every need.  Wow, how time changes one’s hopes, dreams, desires…

Someday He’ll come along, the Dom i love?

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

If He doesn’t come soon, maybe i can change the ear worm to the song, “i’m going on a Man hunt!”

Will, Won’t or Maybe Monday #4

There are so many activities in the BDSM/Kink arsenal that provide pain and pleasure, and allows the Dominant and submissive to overtly demonstrate their affinity for the role they have chosen, or that chose them.  Today i am writing about activities from the BDSM activities checklist that i have done or would like to do…ane one i would NOT do under any circumstances. 

Being serviced 

This is probably well known to most people who have had sex.  In the vanilla context i call it the “do me tops” and “do me bottoms”.  These are the people who lie there practically motionless wanting to have sexual things done to them. They don’t participate other than just having an orifice filled or a hard dick to be ridden.  i think they can be and usually are extremely boring in bed.  However when the power dynamic is added to the scenario it is very erotic to service a Master or to be “done” by the Master.  The act of submitting to your Master or Dom and servicing them sexually without expecting or wanting reciprocity gives a submissive great pleasure …at least it does me!  Servicing and being serviced are two different things (for those new to BDSM/Kink and Power exchange).  As i mentioned in a previous post most online profiles written by submissives focus on what the Dom can do to them, not what the sub can do FOR the Dom.   The subs are requesting to be serviced by a Master.  They aren’t telling a prospective Master what services they can provide the Dominant.  Not to belabor the point but subs should be offering to clean house, do the dishes, cook for and serve the Master, run errands, chauffeur the Master, do laundry, provide secretarial services – answering the phone, typing letters and printing documents for Sir, provide event planning and organization, and a myriad of other tasks to make Sir’s life less hectic and more enjoyable.  

i would suggest deep self examination to determine what services you are wanting to provide a Master, and don’t agree to do those things you detest.  Personally i hate housework.  i would never willingly offer to do that.  However, i love organizing events and making travel arrangements.  That is two things i would definitely offer to provide my Sir.  Make your lists of “will do” and “won’t do” chores, activities or tasks you like to do, and hate to do.  Then write your profile.  The play and sex to me are secondary to other ways i can serve my Master unless he only wants to be serviced.

Being bitten  

I have been bitten only once and that was by a girl when I was about thirteen.  It hurt like hell.  I hadn’t quite gotten to my awakening that can equate pain with pleasure. When I became sexually active i found that men kissing and sucking the back and sides of my neck was really arousing.  It drove me to the heights of passion.  Alas, i have not been bitten by anyone since i was a young teen boy.  But with all the Vampire movies and books showing how being bitten hurts a bit but is also sexually charged i would like to have that experience.  It seems to be the ultimate act of power, seduction, submission, pain and pleasure.  


i will discuss this next week

Boot worship

There is something very sexy about a masculine Dominant in black leather boots that have been well cared for.  Sometimes a Dom wants your submissiveness to show overtly by having you lick, kiss and stroke His boots.  When i am fully into my sub role i easily and gladly prostrate myself or kneel before Sir and worship His boots, and in turn show that i worship His Dominance over me.  It’s not for everyone, and i have never been ordered to lick dirty boots or the sole of the boots.  i would have to evaluate that order based on what kind of dirt or filth may be on them.  It is always my honor and pleasure to worship His boots.

“Brown” Showers 

This is a shitty topic that I know very little about and do not want to experience under ANY circumstances.  Once a long time ago i had an experienced Leather man ask me if i recycled.  i responded, “well sure i do” thinking he out of the blue wanted to know if i put my old papers, empty bottles and cans in a separate bin for the garbage collectors to pick up.  That is  NOT what he was referring to. Later i learned that he was talking about ingesting his feces freshly presented.  i was told once that most people are either shit negative, shit positive or shit neutral.  i am a resounding Shit Negative.  i don’t like it…no way, no how!  But to each their own kinks.

Cages (Being locked inside)

i am claustrophobic and at this time i don’t trust ANYONE enough to be locked in a cage without any way of escaping should the need arise.  It is an act of ultimate trust in the Dom you are playing with or a really stupid move on the part of the submissive.  As with bondage once you are rendered immobile or caged you are at the mercy of the Dominant. I urge you to make the decision to allow yourself to be caged very cautiously and only play with Doms/Masters you know well and have been vetted in community. Have a safe word and tell a friend where you are going, who you are playing with and tell that friend to call you at a prearranged time.  The friend should understand that if they can’t reach you or they haven’t called, that the friend must call the police.  It would be much better to be embarrassed if you are indeed safe and having a great time, than be in a dire situation and no on knows where you are or who you are with.


The first time i heard of caning was when that nineteen year old boy in Singapore was sentenced for vandalism.  He was to receive four strikes with a rattan cane…a thin, rigid rod.  There were a lot of appeals and international wrangling but in the end he was caned.   

Now, this has become a real implement of pain/pleasure or punishment in the BDSM world. From what i have heard it produces a sharp stinging pain and leaves welts where it strikes the skin.  That young man later said that it caused bleeding and left scars.  That was in 1994.  He is 41 now.  Hard to believe it has been that many years already. Caning, less intense than he received, sounds intriguing to me.

Tell me how you stay safe while playing.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray 

A Kinky boy in a Vanilla World

i just got home from an evening out on the town to celebrate my husband’s birthday.  i dressed in nice vanilla drag…i mean dress casual with my new black jeans on.  Of course i wanted to fit in with our friends who dress gay casual…jeans, tee shirt, and sneakers.  But i had to honor my kinky side by wearing my wide black leather belt and a jock strap.  Instead of my combat boots i wore black leather dress shoes.  

First we went to dinner at a very expensive restaurant where the food was fantastic.  Then, we went bar hopping to 3 different gay establishments.  One was what we in the gay community have always called an S & M bar….meaning stand and model.  Everyone looked basically the same.  Jeans, sneakers and tee shirt, muscles and little to no body hair.  But there were a few guys dressed up in their best gay GQ getups looking all out of place with their brightly colored eyeglass frames, blazer jackets, dress shorts or slacks, and of course a fedora cocked on their heads.  These GQ guys looked as out of place as I felt in this club.  

Next, we walked down the street a bit and went into a piano bar.  It was subdued and gaudy with everything being stark white, even the piano, except lots of faux silver candelabras on every flat surface in the bar, and some even hung on the walls.   Each candle had that fluttering flame shaped piece of material with the orange light that kinda makes it look like a real lit candle.  This place was t-a-c-k-y!  It was filled with “older” gentlemen in their fine preppy clothes.  The pianist was a campy gay guy who was extremely enthusiastic as he sang, but had a little glint of crazy about him.  We just stood there for a couple tribute songs to singer George Michael. We didn’t even get a drink.  Then we scurried down the street (it was a frigid 58 degrees in South Florida) to another bar.

This was a dance bar.  Two levels and two separate rooms – one a bar where you could actually hear the people talking and the other a bar with a dance floor filled with big hairy men, little hairy men, and some men in leather.  All ages were represented .  I think there was an octogenarian with his shirt off, leather harness on, tight blue jeans and wildly dancing, like he was 30 years old again.  He was having a fantastic time.

 It must have been Bear night, or even Leather or fetish night.  The Bears, Leathermen and leatherboys in their harnesses, boots, vests and tight jeans were so hot.  We stayed quite a while; i couldn’t get my eyes filled enough with the images i am so comfortable with and attracted to.  Hot sweaty masculine men packed the dance floor.  Gyrating, men cruising other men, and smiling, and singing along with the music videos…having the best time ever.   

It’s great to be alive!

i could smell that familiar musky, sweaty, cigar smoke covered manhood before me.  i just wanted some big burly hairy Dom to carry me out to his F-150 and drive me to his dungeon.  

i did not want to leave this bar!  Really i wanted the three people i was with to leave and let me stay to drink in the images and smells of hyper-masculinity. Ah, fantasies keep me hopeful that one day  it all will become a reality.

How do i cope with living in a vanilla world?

Great question!  i seem to have two separate identities conjoined at the heart with no one on either side knowing the real totality of me…the true person i am in my heart.  i live two lives.  There is my Leatherboy, BDSM/Kink personality that likes Leather bars, dungeons, playrooms, XXX movies, Pro Doms, erotic massages, sex in risky places and the pain/pleasure that comes with it all.  i do all that as covertly as possible.  However, i have stopped hiding my bags of kinky toys at home.  

Then, there is the vanilla personality. he stays home doing the dishes, straightening up the house, caring for the animals, paying bills and attending religious services every week albeit in a gay church.  he wears clothes to fit in to the mainstream gay community.  he sits home most nights watching television.  But, he secretly checks hookup apps that cater to his kind of men and his preferred activities, writing my Blog on his IPad, or even texting Pro Doms and potential sex partners.  Sex, BDSM and kink ever present in his mind.

That’s my story for today.  These are my/his struggles daily.  Still searching for the answer to be revealed about how i can blend my personality with His to become one authentic person living proudly as a leatherboy.

I’d love to hear how you cope with the dichotomy.
Thanks for reading,

boy stray