Plans Gone Awry

my Valentine’s gift to myself this year was to be an encounter, a play session, with a Dom from the Northeast USA. He was coming to my area for a marathon race of some sort. W/we met on recon.com.

W/we wrote and texted for about 5 to 6 weeks planning and anticipating O/our brief time together. W/we exchanged additional photos. And i began to feel trustful…well, as trustful as one can be of an unknown Internet persona.

Anyway, He had assured me He was staying close to the city i live in. However, the Monday before Valentine’s Day He said He was staying in an Air B&B house in a city that was a 45 minute drive away from my home. To say i was disappointed is an understatement. Actually i was pissed.

Because of my current relationship status, and the state of my relationship i do not have hours on end to dedicate to BDSM play. It would be one and a half hours just in travel time. And, He wanted a long, possibly overnight encounter, which i could not possibly do.

i suppose my anger and frustration turned inward because i began to feel ill….like i was coming down with a cold. Coughing. Chills. Body aches. Headache. But, i was still planning to go. We’d arranged for the day after Valentine’s Day for my submission to impact play.

On Valentine’s Day i decided not to go. Mostly, it was the drive. And a bit of trepidation about not really being able to adequately vet an out-of-towner. And a tad of generalized body aches and stiffness making me feel and walk like i was 100 years old.

So, unfortunately i missed Sir using His belt and His computer cord (improvisation since He is travelling) to inflict a mutually satisfying, yet heavy play session.

Am i a scaredy cat? Am i too cautious? Have i watched too many episodes of Criminal Minds? Or should i continue to be careful and try to fully vet a new Dom play partner? Should distance NOT be a factor in considering a play session?

What do Y/you think?

It seems i mostly write about an unsuccessful, unfulfilling BDSM Leather life, but really i think it is an accurate reflection of what most people in the lifestyle go through. i don’t mean to be maudlin or discouraging, but rather to impress upon newbie subs that daily encounters with a vast array of Daddies & Doms is not likely to be the norm.

There is no reason to give up. Do as i do. Get out there. Go to events, dinners, play parties, classes, munches, join organizations, go to Leather bars and other venues. The more you get out there and meet people, and they get to know you, the more likely you are to find play partners, and develop a fulfilling Leather BDSM life.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Excitement and Anticipation 

In approximately 36 hours i fly away to a weekend long BDSM oriented workshop that incorporates intimacy with the play scenes.  i am approaching the weekend with excitement,  anticipation, and a mixture of fear.  Y/you see i hate flying.  i have passed on trips to Europe because of fear of flying.  But this short workshop was so enticing i could not let the opportunity to attend pass me by.  So i sucked up my courage and bought my ticket.  

i don’t know what to expect really, other than we were told to bring rope of 4 specific lengths and given the option to bring other toys like floggers and paddles.  i guess i am expecting some education and practice with bondage and impact play.  W/we were given a few writing assignments to complete prior to arrival and were told we could bring some favorite accessories.

The accessories i am taking are a couple of cock rings, a penis plug, and cock cage/chastity device.  Also, i have packed my leather vest with my boy’s club patch on it.

i am hoping to learn and experience a great deal in this brief weekend training.  While i have attended an intimacy workshop and numerous BDSM classes, this is the first combination of the two.

my flight leaves at 6 am Friday and i return Monday night late, so i may not get to post my after event musings until Tuesday, but then again, i do have a lot of airport downtime coming home.

More later.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

It Finally Happened

Lots of texts messages, titillating electronic conversations, planning and scheduling happened between the Dom and me. 

Then, it finally happened.  Schedules aligned, His health was stable, my fears were lessened and my desire for a real BDSM play session was the only thing i could think of.

i was ordered to wear leather.  i did.  i arrived exactly at the designated time. When i walked into the condo Sir was seated on the sofa wearing a black SIR t shirt and red nylon shorts.  Also, He was tethered to a really long oxygen tube.  i stood at attention awaiting directions, orders, the offer to be seated or the offer of a drink.  I received none.  He proceeded to talk, and talk, and talk.  Approximately an hour later i was shown the balcony area and the bedroom…And a walkin closet full of leather vests, pants, covers and caps, an extremely heavy full leather jacket and dozens of t shirts.  Then, i was shown the toy box filled with everything you could think you might need.  A flogger and paddle hung on the wall.

By now i had been there going on two hours.  And so far no sex, no play, no nudity, and not even a drink of water. 

He decided it was time to play.  Mostly He was feeling up to deep kissing which was very sensual and a big turnon.  Also, He was into receiving oral sex.  He did return fellatio with a bit of genital pain included…a nice touch.  He did do some impact play while He was being done – such as hard slaps to the pecs and ass slaps.

He wanted desperately to get off, but could only accomplish that with intense pain to His nipples.  i bit one so hard i feared severing it or at least inducing severe bleeding. The other nipple i gripped tightly, pinched and twisted as hard as i possibly could.  He exploded in relief.

In the post coital conversation He said He was more bottom, a pain pig, wanted to get fucked, couldn’t be with a total bottom, and how much He relies on intense pain to reach orgasm. This is everything i am and the opposite of what i want in my Dom.

He is a Dominant who is a sexual bottom??

i am confused.  Disappointed. 

i want a Dom who is a Top – a total Top.  He may have been a sub bottom before, but now He needs to be exclusively a Top. i am a bottom, a sub bottom.  Not a switch.  Not versatile.   A Bottom.

Saturday He texted wanting to flog me.  i wanted to in ways, but made up an excuse so i wouldn’t have to go.  i remain disappointed that He is the opposite of what i want/need.  i need to be honest with him but i am not sure i can be.  But, i will try.

boy stray’s quest continues…

Thanks for reading,

boy stray