i wrote months ago about an awkward situation with my vanilla husband related to my association with the Leather community and a particular Leather Master.
It was a long, long period of estrangement and hurt feelings because of a misunderstanding and jumping to conclusions on his part. Very slowly and with tiny baby steps he worked his way back from near divorce to practically being back to normal – or at least the way it was before my misdirected text message. He is still trying to understand my attraction to or seemingly sudden affinity for Leather and BDSM. But, that is something he still has to work through. His passive aggressive comments haven’t had any effect on me, which is different for our relationship. i use to easily bend to his will.
Another almost back to normal relationship is with the Person i called my Mentor, Protector, and Guardian even though He never verbalized that He was taking on any of those roles with me. W/we too had a misunderstanding months ago. i pleaded and begged Him not to turn His back on me. i apologized profusely even though i think what i did was not any kind of direct offense to Him or disobeying orders. However, it did involve not telling Him that i was taking a six week class on exploring submission. And as fate sometimes has it, He visited the instructor the first night of class and saw me waiting for it to begin. He was cold, aloof, and wouldn’t respond to texts after that night.
Anyway, i eventually gave up trying to reestablish a relationship with Him. Then, after i attempted to start a BDSM mentoring group – not too successfully – i reached out to Him for help. W/we talked through text many times with me trying to describe my vision for the group and listening to His suggestions. W/we then came to an agreement to work together to try to generate interest and build a group. Even with Sir’s guidance the group didn’t take off. Guess there isn’t as much need for mentoring in the gay BDSM community as i thought or else i just didn’t get the word out enough.
Now when i see Sir out He always asks for a hug. Recently i attended a class He taught on Hot Wax play. i had taken the class before but wanted to continue to solidify the relationship between U/us, to support Him in His class, and to meet a newbie guy i had met on FetLife.
So, if you allow enough time to pass sometimes with love or a strong desire to reestablish a relationship with a lover, spouse, or BDSM M/mentor it can be done. But, in these to instances i believe my spouse and i had a strong love connection beforehand. With Sir there was deep respect, and an instance where He was critically needed and valued, and i showed perseverance in trying to reestablish O/our previous sense of comfortability. And eventually He responded favorably.
Wishing Y/you peace, love, and little drama in Y/your relationships.
Thanks for reading,