Pain, Glorious Pain!?

i never thought of myself as a masochist until fairly recently. i really didn’t, and don’t, enjoy the pain i experience daily from arthritis. Those pains are a nuisance and have no intrinsic value. They are there to challenge my life and my resolve every minute of every day. But chosen, inflicted sensual pain is another whole kettle o fish as they use to say.

We’ve most likely all had a hang nail that we had to pull out, or a splinter, a scrape, cut, burn or bruise from an accident around the house. Those things hurt like the dickins. And it wasn’t a good pain.

But, put on some leather, dim the lights and bring out the whips, chains, clamps, and floggers, and we’re having a party. Safe, sane, consensual AND sensual pain i believe releases endorphins that cause the pain to be experienced positively, sensually, and erotically BY SOME PEOPLE.

It turns me the fuck on!!

But most people I would venture to say would argue that any pain during sex is a total turn off/deal breaker/end of the date occurrence.

And to be fair we have to acknowledge that many people have experienced painful traumatic events in their lives whether it was physical, emotional or psychological. That definitely could effect a person’s perception of pain inflicted with erotic intention.

That is why GOOD effective communication before playing is essential. You as the Dom don’t want to be in a scene with someone who has a total meltdown or freak out with that first hard slap on the ass. You need to know beforehand if the sub has ANY issues related to pain, or even to bondage or being restrained.

i mentioned my chronic pain. Well, erotic pain inflicted in a BDSM scene or simple play session for me is a diversion, a redirection of my attention from my chronic pain and giving me, even briefly, the experience of an intense, highly sensual escape from my day-to-day pain and giving me a mind blowing orgasm.

But, i can be a wuss!  At this point i don’t have enough experience to know how much i can take before the erotic pain turns into an “ouch bitch that hurts – Stop!”  The one time i needed to call Red, my safe word, all i could scream to to electro malfunction was “Ouchhhh, stop, stop, stop, that hurts!”  It probably wasn’t the words that evoked His rapid response but more likely my pulling against the restraints with a force reminiscent of King Kong trying to break free from captivity in that scene from the movie where he is on the stage in New York.  Man, that was some major pain.

i tend more toward impact play now, and TT, CBT, hot wax, sounds, ws, bondage, and growing interest in edgier play as long as there is some component of erotic pain included, i am game!

So now i proudly proclaim that i, boy stray, am a masochist.

Give me pain, Glorious Pain!

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive-day 7

Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?

1 February 2017 – Yes, i accept and expect discipline and punishments as part of my submission.  But, i believe a point of clarification needs to be made differentiating punishments from play.  Punishments are not an extension of play.  It is something that means to alter unsatisfactory behavior or for infraction of the rules established by the Dom.  Punishments are not meant to be fun enticements to sex or a play session.  Punishments can be physical or the taking away of a privilege or something very important to the submissive.  It is meant to sting or hurt a bit.  For example, if a sub enjoys spanking, the Dom may spank harder or use an implement the submissive does not enjoy.  The Dom may decrease or withhold phone r television privileges.  Or something i happened to just think of is cleaning every inch of the kitchen floor with a toothbrush.  Now that is what i would call a harsh punishment given my visceral hatred of housework.

If the punishment is too lite, enjoyed by the submissive or has a sexual connotation it will not correct behavior, but rather would encourage unwanted behaviors and infractions to continue or become more frequent.

In ads for subs seeking Doms, i frequently see a sub pleading to be punished.  To which i would say, that sub doesn’t have a clue about the Leather BDSM Kink lifestyle.  A sub shouldn’t want a true punishment.

In response to the second question about how i feel about discipline and punishments, i personally would do everything i could not to make a mistake or break a rule.  i would not want the painful and harsh punishment that would be administered swiftly.  i would hope my training prepared me well for my role in the D/s relationship, so i could meet all His expectations and anticipate all His needs without Him having to utter a word.