Day 25: Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?
i wrote before that one of the things i do – not sure i would call it a ritual – is to always stand in a military “at ease” position with hands behind my back and head slightly bowed with eyes averted from any Dom who may be present. Also, most of the time i wear a leather band on my right wrist as a sign to others and as a reminder to me that i am a leather submissive.
i have no other rituals or objects used to express my submission. It would be wonderful to be gifted an item from a Dom that is meant as a visible sign of my submissiveness.
Day 26: What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?
Qualities i seek in a Dominant are knowledge and experience in BDSM, a playful nature yet strict in His enforcement of protocol, duties, and the behavior of His sub, yet not aggressive or just plain ole mean under pressure or stress.
Deal breakers would be refusal to negotiate limits and preferences, and in writing a contract; a lack of interest or concern regarding training or for the nurturing of the sub; and having a tendency to being mean under pressure and taking out stress and frustration on the submissive.
Day 27: Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?
At this time, a “real” session, scene or play session have only been a fantasy. i have had isolated activities and experiences, and even paid a Pro Dom to work out some fantasies, but i have never been approached by a Dom who follows through and has a real time play session from start to finish with me.
The only thing that really confuses me or frightens me is the lack of opportunities for real time play. i have not been able to make myself the kind of sub that is attractive to a Dom to even have Him approach me for play. i fear i may never experience a full, real BDSM session.
Thanks for reading,