They Really Beat my Ass!

It happened! Finally. My FIRST real BDSM hookup/play session with a Dom. But, this wasn’t one, but rather two Doms. The Sir who Dominated my sub ass was the submissive to the other Sir, the primary Dominant. However, my Dom took charge and worked me over really well.

i arranged my safety call with a friend that i would contact as soon as the session ended. He knew if he hadn’t heard from me by a certain time to consider the worst, and to notify the police. He had their phone numbers, addresses, etc. just in case.

When i was clean – inside and out, i left home and drove nervously to Their home. i was instructed via text to park out front, and to text when i’d arrived, and to wait in the car until Sir came out to get me. Suddenly, it began to pour down raining.

Sir motioned for me to come in and as i walked into the extremely large home, SIR said, “don’t be nervous”. That was immensely helpful in relaxing me and alleviating my anxiety…and and fears i might have been harboring.

After 90 minutes of intense impact play – flogging, paddling, spanking and having a riding crop used on my ass, and chest and back impact play with paddles, it progressed to CBT & TT and lots of oral sex and face fucking. Apparently then, Sir placed ten clothes pins on my cock & proceeded to tap, flick, and hit them inducing increasing levels of pain/pleasure. At the same time i experienced intense TT which caused a constant refocusing of attention to alternating areas of intense pain.

The Sirs were very attentive and cognizant of my level of pain asking for a numerical value to gage the intensity. They offered rest breaks and water regularly during the play.

Only once did i kind of loudly say “ouch” as i turned my ass away from the hard strikes of the wooden paddle. SIR said, “is that a yellow?” to which i said sheepishly, “yes.” The intensity of that paddling immediately decreased.

At the end of the session, i was asked how long i’ve been into BDSM. They both were surprised to hear this was my first real BDSM encounter in a non classroom setting. They seemed impressed at the level and intensity of pain i was able to accept.

Hopefully i’ll always remember my initiation into real BDSM play happened on 1-8-18 (one eight one eight)

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

Enlightenment and Happiness 

my BDSM workshop was far beyond my wildest dreams, hopes, and imagination.  The two and a half days were filled with camaraderie, education, and assignments to evoke deep thought about D/s play and relationships, demonstrations, and hands-on practice of everything taught over the weekend.  

There were twenty gay and bisexual men ranging in ages from 30’s to 75.  All sizes, shapes and penis lengths were represented.  Unfortunately one thing i noticed was an absence of African American men.  Asian and Latino men were minimally represented.  So, it was mostly middle aged and older white guys.

W/we bonded quickly through a series of “getting to know you” exercises, and then the rest of the weekend was spent primarily naked and extremely close to each other.

Saturday i was put into a rope harness for the first time.  It was an exercise to instill a sense of submissiveness into each participant.  Then, W/we learned how to spank and use a flogger.  W/we each gave and received both.  i quickly learned, or more accurately had it reinforced, that I am a submissive, because I did not enjoy flogging others; it did not excite me in the least.  However, i did like giving a spanking for a short time.  However, W/we had to spank for 45 minutes using all three positions: over the knee, on all fours, and froggy.  Man, did my arm get exhausted.  The position i liked best was froggy.  i could easily see his butt, legs, back and head.  i had easy access to his ass for spanking.  i could watch as his cheeks turned from pink to Rosie Red.

The flogging practice with me as the sub was so intense.  i kept having flashes of white lights over and over.  Then feelings began to well up in me and i had this overwhelming sense of happiness to the point of having tears in my eyes.  They were definitely tears of happiness and not from pain.  i felt joyful.  i had found something I want and need as a part of my life going forward.  Yes, I felt the sting and thud of the flogger.  Yes, i felt each blow as i was simultaneously spanked. But, i was happy that i had finally experienced what i had longed for and dreamed of for years.  They were indeed tears of happiness.  

Sunday, we learned about another type of rope bondage harness as well as the use of clothes pins for tit torture (or stimulation) and cock and ball bondage, balls weights, and CBT – cock & ball torture.  i was blindfolded, bound with the rope, cock tied up, and clothes pins applied – and I felt nothing.  I could hardly tell the clothes pins were on my nipples.  Others were applied elsewhere with the same minimal stimulation.  Weights were carefully tied to the cord binding my cock and balls.  Then, lowered slowly.  After several seconds i asked if they were on as i felt – nothing.  They were indeed on.  They proceeded to parade me around the room, ball weights swinging, and the feeling of submission and helplessness constant.  Then, the flogging, spanking, and CBT began.  It was the CBT that made me weak in the knees.  The sensation was intense, stimulating, and teasingly erotic.

Later we discussed desire.  Expressing what you desire and getting it, or negotiating for a compromised desire.  And then acting out your desire.  W/we each were assigned to come up with a fantasy we would like to have happen that afternoon.  In groups of three we all had our desire met, then functioned as the Top, and then as the assistant for another man’s desire.  As my fantasy desire was being met and the two men acting out my fantasy were yelling, mocking, and jeering me, the room seemed to have emptied completely except us three.  No other sound could be heard or action felt by me, except what was taking place in my scenario.  i did not see colors this time – only blackness.  But even in the darkness, and the quietness of the room i became aware of a feeling of enlightenment.  Now, i think i must have felt the authentic me amidst the intense pain/pleasure of that experience.

The marks and redness from the flogging and spanking quickly resolved, but the warmth and internal glow of happiness, awareness, authenticity, and enlightenment continue to burn eagerly in my soul.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 8

Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?

This is not a question that affords a black or white response.  There is plenty of gray area.  Spanking can be fun and pleasurably painful for the submissive.  Would a Dom use something like spanking to punish a sub who likes spanking?    That could potentially turn the sub off to spanking scenes since it now would have a negative connotation to it.  Wouldn’t it be better to either deny spanking or punish with something the sub dislikes doing or having done to them. i talked about this in a previous 30 Days post.

The punishment needs to be timely, appropriate for the infraction, something that reinforces positive behavior & adhering to the Dom’s rules, and something the sub does not enjoy in some form or another.  

i did a web search for punishments and found a site: http://www.pleasepunish.me

It is fun site in that it has a button that generates a good, interesting, appropriate and new form of punishment for each infraction or mistake made by the sub.  That way You don’t have to worry about what to do next time he breaks a rule, talks back, makes a mistake or embarrasses You or himself in public.  There are more than enough punishments listed to use whenever you need one, but if Your sub needs that much punishment it may be time to reconsider that arrangement or relationship.


Thanks for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive 

Day 6: What do you feel are the roots of your submission?  Do you think it has something to do with childhood?

Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline?

Is it a sexual thrill or something else?
30 January 2017 – The roots of my submission were ingrained in me by life experiences as a child and through conditioning as an adult.  That is what created the submissive that i am.

As a child i was horribly shy, socially backward, and never seemed to know what to say or do.  In steps my mother who was controlling and domineering.  She told me what to say, what to do, how to act…there was NO arguing or disagreeing with mother.  i didn’t need to make decisions or initiate anything on my own, because i was told everything that guided my life.  

She could fly into a rage with little provocation.  She would grab the nearest tree limb or coat hanger or belt to release her anger and frighten me into submission.  my brother was more defiant and resisted her aggression as he grew older.  i became the best boy there ever was.  Never did anything on my own…or at least never got caught.

When I grew to my gay adulthood I had a boyfriend i played with occasionally.  Once while in the throws of passion he hit me in the face with his fist.  Hard but not really hard.  i asked why he did that.  He said, “I thought you’d like it.”  i kept going back to him for a while…he had a beard, was good looking, tall and really well hung.  Everything i like in a man who is in me!  But he never struck me again.

Another man had a real tit torture fetish.  He’d practically make them bleed.  And believe me he worked them so hard i thought of him every time my nipples brushed against my shirt for several days afterward.

There was another man who slapped my ass when fucking.  i liked his brand of kinky fucking a lot.  He became known to my friends and me as “Spanky.”

Those are the sources of my submissiveness and my conditioning to become a BDSM Kinky bottom boy.

It really has nothing to do with my current or future relationships.

It is however a sexual, emotional and psychological thrill, a yearning, a need to be used by a Dominant man.

Day seven tomorrow.

Thanks for reading

boy stray 

Will, Won’t or Maybe Monday #3

It’s been a very hectic holiday weekend and even today i couldn’t get things done on my To Do list.

However, i do hope you all had a joyous holiday.

It’s late Monday night and i doubt I’ll get this post done in 29 minutes, so it will become a Tuesday post rather than my every Monday post.

The 3 activities for this week’s BDSM checklist are ball stretching, bathroom use control, and beating (soft and hard).

Ball Stretching 

This is an activity i enjoy doing or perhaps i should say try to do.  It can be quite arousing to do this.  It is simple to do and you can get good results in stretching the scrotum with ongoing use of one of the many different styles and weights for ball stretching.  Personally i like my balls to hang lower than they normally do.  i’ve bought maybe 6 different types of stretchers. Wide Leather straps that are put on the ball sack and snapped so it stays in place. There is a similar type that also has a metal ring on the bottom on which a weight can be added. This is done to speed the process and get better results.  There is also a thing called a parachute which is a leather (usually) strap narrow at the top and wider at the bottom.  It has chains on the bottom, again, to which you can add weights.  The leather has 2 or 3 snaps to hold it in place on the scrotum.  They also make metal weights that can be place directly on the scrotum.   One has a powerful magnet that holds the two semi circular parts together.   There is another that actually has a place where the two halves are held together by tightening them together with an Allen wrench or Hex key.

Things to consider: size, time, weight, circulation. 

Size – Y/you want it to be snug enough to stay in place for whatever length of time it will be worn.  A problem i have had was my balls sometimes pull up and one side slides under the strap and the whole thing falls off.  Another consideration is the tightness of the stretcher material.  It MUST NOT be too tight.  It should be snug and stay where you put it but it should not be so tight circulation is hampered or cut off completely. Sizing is critical. 

Time – how long do you want to keep it on each time?  Personally i think they are not meant for prolonged use, so i only keep mine on an hour or two each time i wear it.  i recommend using it as many days each week as you can. Consistent use will stretch Y/you out nicely over a shorter period of time. 

Weight – this is highly important. Weights will add extra pull downward hastening the process of stretching your balls.  However, weight should be added slowly and incrementally.  Most men could not handle going immediately from a 4 oz weight to a full 1 pound weight.  Weight should be added slowly and carefully so as not to injure the balls.

Circulation- before Y/you put the stretching device on Y/your balls feel the skin of your scrotum.   Are they warm or cold.  Are you hanging lower or are Y/your balls pulled up.  A warm shower will cause them to dangle as heat makes them fall away from the body. When Y/you are ready to put it on, first feel Y/your balls to check the temperature.  Do this so Y/you can compare the temperature before you start with temperature while wearing the stretcher device.  If the balls get cold or turn blue, purple or, God forbid, black remove the device immediately.  If they don’t return to normal soon or if they are black or beginning to bruise go to the Emergency Room IMMEDIATELY!

Bathroom Use Control

Never done this and don’t think it is wise if done to the extreme.  The urinary bladder stretches as urine enters it from the kidneys.  The bladder has sensors that give Y/you the urge to pee.  Denial of the need to urinate for long periods of time can damage the bladder by the nerves no longer responding the way they are designed to do.  

This scene has the sub/slave requesting to go to the bathroom.  The Sir or Master can deny the request for any length of time.  As time goes on the bladder fills and stretches to an uncomfortable feeling and even pain. The sub squirms with pain until either given permission to use the restroom or the sub pisses their pants. i tend to drink a lot and pee a lot, so i wouldn’t even agree to this kind of torture.  

Beating

Never done it to the extreme of it being called a beating.   The beating can be accomplished with hands or any other implement the Dom sees fit.  I suppose it is an erotic beating either done softly or hard.  To me the word “beating” sounds hard, harsh, and nonconsensual. i would use words like spanking, flogging, caning, etc. as my preferred methods of discipline or erotic play. As a sub i do not want to be beaten, but love the other choices i just mentioned.

For all play scenes remember the words Safe, Sane, Consensual.   Don’t take unnecessary risks that could permanently damage your body.

Next week i will discuss Being Serviced, Being Biten, and Boot Worship. 

Thanks for reading,

boy stray