30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 28

Has your submission ever let you down? 
Yes it has.  submissives are a dime a dozen.  Most of the posts on FetLife and Recon.com are from submissives.  In that way my submission lets me down.  It would be so much easier to hookup, find a long term partner or have play sessions if only i was a Dom.  But, it is not my nature.  So, i continue to wait, update my profile and pictures, and try to integrate more into the Leather BDSM community.



Have you ever been criticized for your submission? 
The only real criticism i have received is the one i told Y/you about before.  It was the story of the guy on the hookup site bullying me because i choose to call myself a “boy”.  i retaliated and then blocked him.  Probably should have just let it go, but i didn’t.


Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? 
i have no regrets for being a bottom or submissive.  i have had great sex and some interesting events related to my being submissive.  Just a quick anecdote: we hosted a couple of gay Puerto Rican soccer players in town for a tournament. They spoke little to no English and i spoke no Spanish, but after my partner went to work the next morning one of the men came to my bedroom, got in the bed nude and proceeded to fuck the daylights out of me.  He was good looking and hung, uncut.  He sensed or somehow knew that i was a submissive bottom boy and would gladly allow him to do as he pleased.


Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?
Oh, certainly.  i have made plenty of mistakes over the course of my life.  And continue to.  Each mistake or lapse in judgment was an opportunity to learn and grow…and hopefully to not make the same or even similar mistakes.  Several of those mistakes i have posted about over these past few months.  If Y/you are interested in learning from my poor choices, Y/you can read back through my earlier posts.

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 22

Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?

Yes i believe a submissive can feel submissive even without a Dominant partner.  i always feel and try to portray my submissive nature.  It may be in some small ways, but it is ever present in my mind and actions.  Now that does not mean i am run over by people, taken advantage of, disrespected, or that i am not assertive in some situations.  

i mentioned before that i wear a leather bracelet on my right wrist as a sign that i am a leather oriented bottom boy.  i might have a key clip or have a hunter green bandana in my right back jeans pocket and wearing a Leather themed T shirt to denote my interest and position.   Being a sub means showing respect so i always say “please” “thank you” and i say “Sir” a lot even to younger men.  i now say “may i…” rather than “can i…” because i feel it expresses verbally my submission.    Also, i said in a post just the other day that i stand in a submissive way nearly all the time.  It is a constant reminder of submission.

Other ways of expressing my submission is by writing this blog.  There are so many ideas, thoughts, experiences, questions, doubts, and desires in me that need an outlet and this is a way of expressing my submission through words.  Another example is that a small group of us from the boy’s Leather club meet for coffee every week or two.  we talk openly in the coffee shop about the club, upcoming events, play parties, relationship issues, and about how BDSM and Leather influence our lives, thoughts and actions.

So, yes, i live my life of submission without having a Dominant partner.

Let me hear your thoughts on this as well.  Write me in the comments section to share your opinions.

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive 

Today i am writing responses to two questions.  

Day 20 

Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?

i can’t really say my submission has increased or decreased over time, but i am aware of it evolving.  It is something i am more aware and accepting of as my exposure to the lifestyle deepens. 

i have never had to renegotiate my submission.

Day 21 

Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?

Usually i assume a passive military stance with legs apart and hands behind my back and my head down.  Also there was a yoga position i learned the other day (my first class) where i was face down on the floor with knees bent under my body and arms out straight.  He called it something like resting baby…i felt very submissive while in that position. 

But generally i feel submissive most of the time.