30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Days 14 & 15

Day 14 – Today, i decided to answer two questions because number 14 is really easy to answer.
Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit?

No
If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?

Don’t know enough about it to have an answer for you.

Day 15 – Has your submission evolved over time?

Yes i can say that it has.  

If so, how has it evolved for you?

Back in the day…1979, it was about the look of a hot man in Leather…the hyper-masculinity.  While in that gay Mecca a guy tried fisting me but was unsuccessful. Also there was an instance of piss play.  

Then, on returning to my hometown i played with candles, needles, poppers and genital torture a couple times.

So, i wouldn’t say i was submissive but more kinky. When i fully claimed my proud bottom-ness i began to realize that i was truly a submissive. 

Now, i am working toward total submission to a Dom, but if that doesn’t happen i will be content to just being a submissive in play only.

i really would like to work on becoming a real service sub and to increase my tolerance & find my limit with pain.

If not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?

N/A


30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive 

Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission?
Yes, very much.


How do you define service?
Service is doing those mundane menial chores that Sir needs to have done to free His mind and time from thinking about His to do list and actually taking His time to run those errands.  Service means anticipation of Sir’s needs to performing those tasks before He even has to think about them.

Service duties are, or should be, a part of the negotiations prior to entering into a D/s relationship.  This is the time to verbalized your limits in terms of being a service oriented submissive.  As i mentioned in an earlier post, i abhor housekeeping.  i don’t like mopping, vacuuming, or dusting hundreds of little tchotchkes.  i would negotiate for a cleaning service twice monthly to do the hard work and deep cleaning.

What does it mean to you?
Service means overtly showing your respect for your Dom by knowing what He routinely does or needs and taking care of it for Him.  To me it is the essence of being a submissive. 

If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?

N/A

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive  – Day 10

Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships?

This is a really difficult question to respond to.  First, i am not in a submissive “relationship” at this but if this question uses that term to include friends, Doms in the community, and acquaintances then i can say yes.  my interaction with any Dom is one of submissiveness.  However, there have been only a few actual BDSM play sessions. In those instances where i have been with a Dom, yes BDSM was always a major part of the interaction.  

i always treat Doms and Masters with the utmost respect.
How do you feel about BDSM?

As that jingle goes, “i like it, i love it, i want some more of it.”
Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?

i would say now it is peripheral.  It is on the sidelines waiting for those golden opportunities to actually play with a Dom.  In the meantime, i read, study, write my Blog posts, and associate with other subs in the hope that i will get more opportunities to play as i become more of a familiar face in the gay, Leather, BDSM, Kink community.

A boy’s Bill of Rights

Here are the Boy’s Bill of Rights. This was NOT written by me but years ago. I do NOT know who composed this!

BOY’S BILL OF RIGHTS



1. Every boy has the right to have his body, intellect, and emotions protected by his Dom.
2. Every boy has the right to choose the man whom he serves and to discontinue that service and take his leave without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.
3. Every boy has the right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in his submission.
4. Every boy has the right to protected sex if he so wishes.
5. Every boy has the right to privacy if he so wishes. No boy can be blackmailed, publicly humiliated, or physically coerced into service without his expressed desire to be so.
6. Every boy has the right to defend himself from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
7. Every boy has the right to consent or not to consent to sexual activities.
8. Every boy has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other subs and Doms without the expectation of sex, money, or any other service in return.
9. Every boy has the right to a physically and emotionally available circle of friends.
10. Every boy has the right to protect his own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 12

Today’s question stirs a great deal anger within my heart and soul.  Let me share my opinions and let me know if you have supporting or dissenting opinions.
Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself?

Hell NO!  i worked hard for MY money and i ain’t giving it away.
If no, is there a particular reason why?

It allows and perhaps even encourages Doms, wannabe Doms and Dom pretenders to take advantage of vulnerable submissives by promising to be everything the sub wants, but first the sub must make a financial contribution to show the sub’s commitment to the D/s relationship/Collaring/training.
Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission?

Yes
Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

Yes, i have an opinion about everything.  

my opinion is so strong against financial submission because i nearly allowed myself to be reeled in by unscrupulous people online.  No doubt behind the pictures of handsome faces, buff bodies, and the promise to be everything the sub wants and needs…is an unattractive person from another country preying on gullible men and women who long for the Dom of their dreams.  

my first instance of nearly being taken advantage of was on a popular BDSM/Kink site for gay men.  i received an unsolicited message from a guy who was (at least in the pictures provided) a handsome man with a muscular and well defined body, who stated He was fairly well endowed, and who wanted to be in total control, to be the perfect Master/Dom over me.  my heart was all a flutter, and i felt appealing, wanted, needed.  After all, this gorgeous man who could have anyone reached out for me.  Of course i sent a reply as soon as i finished reading about His desire to own me and be my Master.  He responded quickly solidifying His desire to be MY Dom!

Then came another message saying to show my commitment and desire to submit to Him, I needed to go to a certain website to fill out my likes/dislikes and hard limits.  The first time i fell for it.  i went to the site, filled out a questionnaire, and clicked the button to submit.  I was taken to the next page where I was to enter my credit card numbers.  i can’t remember the exact fee to be charged, but it wasn’t just chump change.  

That is where my voice of reason kicked in and I was brought back to reality.  my mind flooded with many “why” questions.  And also i filled with self doubt…why would someone like THAT want to Dominate someone like me?  Why was He evasive with questions i posed?  Why did He need me to pay something upfront with U/us never having seen each other in real life, or even spoken on the phone?  

What the Hell was wrong with me….why would i pay some stranger who lived who knows where to be a Dom to me?

i messaged him back saying i was not going to pay the fee.  he responded that it was “just a test of my commitment” to him.  This time i didn’t answer his message, and he apparently got the not so subtle hint to buzz off.

Then came a message from another “Dom”, and then another.  I didn’t fall for anymore scams on that site, and actually wrote back saying, “if you think i am going to go to a website and pay to join just for the possibility of becoming your sub…you are crazy.”

my last encounter was on another site where i received a similar statement, but this time he actually admitted he was in Another country…England, and wanted a cyber Dom/sub relationship only.  i emailed him back a couple times before he said he required financial submission as well.  Stupid, gullible me considered it until he said he wanted a financial “gift” that would be suitable for his wife.  i quickly woke up from my fantasy about a young, handsome, hung Dom wanting me.  i ceased further communication with him.

NOW, i ignore all of the emails that seem to follow the same script demanding financial submission prior to any D/s relationship beginning.

So, my tip to you is that there are internet scammers and liars out there trolling for vulnerable people who may be desperately looking for that one “real” opportunity to enter a D/s relationship, and they/we really believe this could be it.

Please ignore those emails, move on to the real, honest and honorable men and women seeking the qualities and personality that you possess.

****One caveat, if and that is a big IF you are already in a committed real life D/s relationship, then and only then should you ever consider commingling your financial assets, or giving your Dom the keys to your personal treasury****


Thanks for reading,


boy stray


New Year, new me?

As i wrote before last year was the beginning of my transition, or transformation into a more authentic me.  my coming out as a Leather BDSM submissive began in earnest around July 2016.  When i began to exit that final closet i reached out and made connections, met some people, started attending Leather BDSM functions and made friends…good friends.  But, as i bought my leather gear and toys, and updated my recon.com ad, i was faced with a final incongruity.  i realized that my age, physical ability and body do not match the Leather boy vision i hold in my mind’s eye.  i see me in my mind as younger, healthier, more agile, and having a nice body.  Every once in a while i catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or window reflection and i am snapped back to my reality.  But, i know that as time keeps rolling along and if i stay on the current trajectory i would probably end up an old obese man unable to walk much at all, and likely reliant on others for my care.  What kind of Leather sub would that be?

i am in physical therapy again for the fourth time.  This time i have a weak painful left ankle and balance problems.  i have been going just a couple weeks so far.  But, one thing i am told over and over by doctors and therapists is “you need to join a gym.”  i finally heard and internalized that suggestion.  i waited until New Years resolution gym ads started appearing in the mail, I toured two facilities and actually joined one yesterday.  Today my physical assessment was done, my measurements, weight, and body fat analysis was done, and most humiliating was having the front and side view pictures taken.  

For years i have lived with HIV and a metabolic condition called Lipodystrophy.  It leeches out the subcutaneous fat from the arms, legs, butt and face redistributing it to the abdomen, chest and back.  If you can envision a baking potato with tooth picks for arms and legs you can get a general idea, albeit more, much more pronounced than in reality.  Viewing my image frontally in a mirror i look normal.  Turned to the side i look nine months pregnant.  How i think i look is not true to reality.  i absolutely hate seeing myself in mirrors.  And you know, gyms have freaking mirrors everywhere.

So, i am an official member of a nice gym.  i have lots of work to do.  i must remain realistic.  i am not going to build up so much that i will resemble Arnold Schwarzenegger. That is NOT my goal.  my goal is to lose abdominal fat, add strength and definition to my chest, arms, back, butt, thighs and calves.  i need increased strength and flexibility in my joints, especially my left ankle to decrease pain and increase stability and balance.

Why am i telling you this?  i need a support network.  i need someone to journey with me down this path…to hold me accountable.  Will you be my sounding board?

Another thing I did today was to get Botox injections in my forehead, between my eyes, and the outer perimeter of my eyes.     Also, i had a few little bumps burned off my face that had become focal points each time i gazed in the mirror.

A new me is going to emerge slowly over the course of this year so that how i think i look in my mind will align finally with reality.  Wish me luck.

All this is contingent on that man in the White House not getting us nuked in the next six months!!

Thanks for reading,

boy stray

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive- Day 4

i saw these questions on another blog ( http://collaredmom.com/define-your-kink) and thought it would interesting to respond to one question a day (probably non-sequential days) until all are covered. Maybe Y/you will consider writing Y/your own responses in a journal so Y/you can periodically review to see how Y/you have grown or changed.  
If You are a Top/Dom/Master it is possible to rework the questions to reflect Your perspective.
Day 1: Do you view your submission as; Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, DD/lg; or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?
13 January 2017 – i view my submission as a Dom/sub. i proudly say i am a sub, bottom, boy! i take great pleasure in calling other Men, SIR…even if they are bottoms. One night i called a boy Sir, and he quickly said, “oh, i’m not a Sir.” But i still think of him as a Sir every time I see him now. i even call young men Sir if i think they could be Dominant. Saying a lot is a verbal way of expressing my submissive nature.

Day 2: Describe who you might submit to and how.
14 January 2017 – The Man i might submit to would be mature and rugged looking, bearded, and extremely self assured. He would live and exude His Dominance. He would be borderline aggressive in His dealings, interactions, and expectations of His submissive. He is kind, compassionate, & passionate sexually and in His lifestyle. Being a service oriented sub my role would be to maintain order in the household, provide assistance with His day to day chores and needs by making calls, answering phones, writing letters, organizing His office and paperwork, running errands, doing his laundry, laying out His clothes, assisting Him with dressing, chauffeuring Him to wherever He needs to go, preparing and serving Him meals, providing foot rubs, massages, and presenting & serving Him a cocktail after His day at work.  
That’s probably a fairly comprehensive list of chores i could do to provide service a Dom

Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom?
Exclusively a submissive, gay, bottom boy in life, love, and sex. No compromises

Day 3: How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive?
15 January 2017 – i am a submissive. i enjoy being a bottom. i enjoying serving and pleasing a man…a Dom. i prefer being called a boy, and i prefer calling Dominant Men, Sir. i like to submit to the sexual needs and inclinations of a Dom. i enjoy being used for the satisfaction of a Sir. That’s how i know i am a submissive…because i am hard wired to be submissive.
Day 4: Do you switch into a dominant role at any time?

16 January 2017 – my career occasionally necessitated a flip into a Dominant, assertive, take charge persona.  Times of medical crisis, staff shortages, and dealing with difficult doctors brought out whatever role was needed in each scenario.  Even in my vanilla relationship i have to become Dominant when it comes to finances and in sometimes just being the adult in the relationship. But my true nature is that of being a submissive in service to a Dom.  

Day 5: Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you?
Have you been in more than one D/s relationship?
How were they the same? How were they different?
Day 6: What do you feel are the roots of your submission?
Do you think it has something to do with childhood?
Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline?
Is it a sexual thrill or something else?
Day 7: Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?
Day 8: Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?
Day 9: Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?
Day 10: Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships?
How do you feel about BDSM?
Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?
Day 11: Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission?
How do you define service?
What does it mean to you?
If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?
Day 12: Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself?
If no, is there a particular reason why?
Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission?
Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?
Day 13: Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission?
Why or why not?
Are there limits to this?
Day 14: Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit?
If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?
Day 15: Has your submission evolved over time?
If so, how has it evolved for you?
If not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?
Day 16: Have you found your submission has changed with different partners/relationships?
If you’re involved with partners of both sexes, does your submission relate or change based on gender or does it depend on the person?
Day 17: What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?
Day 18: Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?
Day 19: How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?
Day 20: Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?
Day 21: Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?
Day 22: Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?
Day 23: Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?
Day 24: What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?
Day 25: Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?
Day 26: What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?
Day 27: Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?
Day 28: Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticized for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?
Day 29: Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?
Day 30: Is your need to submit being met?
If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and still be happy/content if you were never able to express your submission in the way that feels best to you again?
What makes submission special to you?

thanks for reading,

boy stray 

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive – Day 3

i saw these questions on another blog ( http://collaredmom.com/define-your-kink) and thought it would interesting to respond to one question a day (probably non-sequential days) until all are covered. Maybe Y/you will consider writing Y/your own responses in a journal so Y/you can periodically review to see how Y/you have grown or changed.  

If You are a Top/Dom/Master it is possible to rework the questions to reflect Your perspective.

Day 1: Do you view your submission as; Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, DD/lg; or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

13 January 2017 – i view my submission as a Dom/sub. i proudly say i am a sub, bottom, boy! i take great pleasure in calling other Men, SIR…even if they are bottoms. One night i called a boy Sir, and he quickly said, “oh, i’m not a Sir.” But i still think of him as a Sir every time I see him now. i even call young men Sir if i think they could be Dominant. Saying a lot is a verbal way of expressing my submissive nature.
Day 2: Describe who you might submit to and how.

14 January 2017 – The Man i might submit to would be mature and rugged looking, bearded, and extremely self assured. He would live and exude His Dominance. He would be borderline aggressive in His dealings, interactions, and expectations of His submissive. He is kind, compassionate, & passionate sexually and in His lifestyle. Being a service oriented sub my role would be to maintain order in the household, provide assistance with His day to day chores and needs by making calls, answering phones, writing letters, organizing His office and paperwork, running errands, doing his laundry, laying out His clothes, assisting Him with dressing, chauffeuring Him to wherever He needs to go, preparing and serving Him meals, providing foot rubs, massages, and presenting & serving Him a cocktail after His day at work.  

That’s probably a fairly comprehensive list of chores i could do to provide service a Dom
Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom?

Exclusively a submissive, gay, bottom boy in life, love, and sex. No compromises
Day 3: How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive?

15 January 2017 – i am a submissive.  i enjoy being a bottom.  i enjoying serving and pleasing a man…a Dom.  i prefer being called a boy, and i prefer calling Dominant Men, Sir.  i like to submit to the sexual needs and inclinations of a Dom.  i enjoy being used for the satisfaction of a Sir.  That’s how i know i am a submissive…because i am hard wired to be submissive.

Day 4: Do you switch into a dominant role at any time?

Day 5: Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you?

Have you been in more than one D/s relationship?

How were they the same? How were they different?

Day 6: What do you feel are the roots of your submission?

Do you think it has something to do with childhood?

Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline?

Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

Day 7: Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?

Day 8: Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?

Day 9: Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?

Day 10: Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships?

How do you feel about BDSM?

Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?

Day 11: Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission?

How do you define service?

What does it mean to you?

If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?

Day 12: Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself?

If no, is there a particular reason why?

Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission?

Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

Day 13: Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission?

Why or why not?

Are there limits to this?

Day 14: Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit?

If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?

Day 15: Has your submission evolved over time?

If so, how has it evolved for you?

If not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?

Day 16: Have you found your submission has changed with different partners/relationships?

If you’re involved with partners of both sexes, does your submission relate or change based on gender or does it depend on the person?

Day 17: What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?

Day 18: Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?

Day 19: How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?

Day 20: Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?

Day 21: Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?

Day 22: Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?

Day 23: Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?

Day 24: What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?

Day 25: Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?

Day 26: What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?

Day 27: Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?

Day 28: Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticized for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?

Day 29: Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?

Day 30: Is your need to submit being met?

If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and still be happy/content if you were never able to express your submission in the way that feels best to you again?

What makes submission special to you?
thanks for reading,
boy stray 

30 Days to Define Y/your Kink as a submissive – Day 2

30 Days to Define your Kink as a submissive i saw these questions on another blog ( http://collaredmom.com/define-your-kink) and thought it would interesting to respond to one question a day (probably non-sequential days) until all are covered. Maybe Y/you will consider writing Y/your own responses in a journal so Y/you can periodically review to see how Y/you have grown or changed.  

If You are a Top/Dom/Master it is possible to rework the questions to reflect Your perspective.

Day 1: Do you view your submission as; Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, DD/lg; or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

13 January 2017 – i view my submission as a Dom/sub. i proudly say i am a sub, bottom, boy! i take great pleasure in calling other Men, SIR…even if they are bottoms. One night i called a boy Sir, and he quickly said, “oh, i’m not a Sir.” But i still think of him as a Sir every time I see him now. i even call young men Sir if i think they could be Dominant. Saying a lot is a verbal way of expressing my submissive nature.

Day 2: Describe who you might submit to and how.

14 January 2017 – The  Man i might submit to would be mature and rugged looking, bearded, and extremely self assured.  He would live and exude His Dominance.  He would be borderline aggressive in His dealings, interactions, and expectations of His submissive.  He is kind, compassionate, & passionate sexually and in His lifestyle.  Being a service oriented sub my role would be to maintain order in the household, provide assistance with His day to day chores and needs by making calls, answering phones, writing letters, organizing His office and paperwork, running errands, doing his laundry, laying out His clothes, assisting Him with dressing, chauffeuring Him to wherever He needs to go, preparing and serving Him meals, providing foot rubs, massages, and presenting & serving Him a cocktail after His day at work.  

That’s probably a fairly comprehensive list of chores i could do to provide service a Dom

Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom?

Exclusively a submissive, gay, bottom boy in life, love, and sex. No compromises

Day 3: How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive?
Day 4: Do you switch into a dominant role at any time?
Day 5: Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you?
Have you been in more than one D/s relationship?
How were they the same? How were they different?
Day 6: What do you feel are the roots of your submission?
Do you think it has something to do with childhood?
Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline?
Is it a sexual thrill or something else?
Day 7: Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?
Day 8: Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?
Day 9: Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?
Day 10: Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships?
How do you feel about BDSM?
Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?
Day 11: Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission?
How do you define service?
What does it mean to you?
If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?
Day 12: Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself?
If no, is there a particular reason why?
Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission?
Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?
Day 13: Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission?
Why or why not?
Are there limits to this?
Day 14: Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit?
If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?
Day 15: Has your submission evolved over time?
If so, how has it evolved for you?
If not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?
Day 16: Have you found your submission has changed with different partners/relationships?
If you’re involved with partners of both sexes, does your submission relate or change based on gender or does it depend on the person?
Day 17: What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?
Day 18: Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?
Day 19: How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?
Day 20: Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?
Day 21: Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?
Day 22: Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?
Day 23: Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?
Day 24: What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?
Day 25: Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?
Day 26: What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?
Day 27: Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?
Day 28: Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticized for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?
Day 29: Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?
Day 30: Is your need to submit being met?
If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and still be happy/content if you were never able to express your submission in the way that feels best to you again?
What makes submission special to you?
thanks for reading,

boy stray